Friday Writing Essential- January 2, 2009

Happy first Friday of 2009! Has everyone recovered from celebrating or is it too soon to tell?

For those of us who enjoy the holidays, it always seems to be a mixed blessing when it’s over. Hopefully we all get back to a more normal schedule, diet, and sleep, but for people like me that live where it’s cold now, the holidays can help distract from the chill and grayness that winter can bring.

Personally, I best love autumn (other than raking copious amounts of leaves), but in the spirit of not wishing my life away, I try to appreciate some aspect of every season. A sunny winter day really lights up the house as the snow sparkles outside. A few logs on the fire make the house cozy and I enjoy the crackle of the wood as it catches. I keep a stack of freshly laundered throws and blankets in the closet to curl up with while reading or watching a movie (and yes, my dog Jada has her own blanket too). I even enjoy an occasional long walk, the snow crunching under my boots, Jada padding along beside me—as long as the temperature is double-digits and the wind is calm. Four deer walked out of the woods across from our house two nights ago and paused at the end of our driveway, illuminated by the golden lights wrapped around our trees. We stood at the window and watched them as they were seemingly in no hurry to leave. These are the things I love most about winter.

Another popular tradition at this time of year is making New Year’s resolutions and I’ve been reading a few posts on Gather about people wanting to do better this year. I have mixed feelings about resolutions just like I do about the holidays being over; I see the value of setting goals, but I think many people aim too high and get discouraged when they don’t meet their own probably unrealistic expectations.

With the current state of affairs we face as a nation, as a world, do we need anything else to feel bad about?

I propose that everyone who feels the need to make a resolution take the time to think about not only what matters most to them, but what is a fair expectation to hold for oneself. If you make any resolutions regarding your writing, be fair to you.

As a writer, does it really make you more productive, happier to berate yourself for not writing enough, not selling enough, not acheiving enough? Do your goals enrich you and the lives of your family by inspiring them to set their own goals or do they guarantee failure and demoralize you in the process?

Writing is an arguably difficult process for many of us—one that requires perseverance and self-confidence.  Don’t sabotage your own well-being and sense of worth by setting unrealistic expectations for your writing.

Don’t get me wrong, setting goals can be a powerful tool in achieving almost anything—just make sure you create small, attainable short-term goals that support your long-term goals. This sometimes requires facing brutal truths about our dreams versus reality, and making choices that give us the best shot at what we want to achieve.

For most of us, there is a life outside of writing, one that deserves our attention as much or more than our writing. We have homes, jobs, families, pets, friends, and hobbies—all requiring time and attention and deserving consideration when creating any writing goals. Our job is to sit quietly and think about our responsibilities and how we can mesh our desire, our need to write with the realities of our life away from the computer. Strive for balance in all areas of your life— this will not only make you less harried, it should help your writing by providing real-life inspiration.

I wish everyone the best in this new year and I look forward to continuing to get to know you and your writing here at Gather.