Alright, I admit it. I have a weird sense of humor. This exchange cracked me up. It started with my pal Mike Stromer making a witty, wise-ass comment when I was guest blogger at Pat Bertram's site. He's ribbing me for the grandiose praise my friends heaped on this blog post.
ML says:
Ken Coffman is the premiere wordsmithy of the day. I predict he'll be known as the next Aeschylus, perhaps even a new age Euripides. A true beacon gracing us with the glow from his towering genius.
I have no clue who Aeschylus and Euripides are. That's why Wikipedia exists. These two Greek dudes are inventors and innovators of Greek drama. But I notice, they're almost always mentioned with a third fellow: Sophocles. Why would Mike mention Aeschylus and Euripides, but not Sophocles? Things have been peaceful around Wombatia for a while, so it occurs to me to invent a feud.
I'm angry that Mike did not mention Sophocles...
What a slap in the face.
- Ken C., Dec 30, 2008, 7:21pm EST
Followed by:
It's just that Sophocles has thrown down. He flamed Alligator Alley. Said it's not even as good as Dan Brown's Deception Point. And said none of my work will ever sell as well as Antigone and that a hangnail on his little toe knows more about commas than I ever will. So, you see, it's personal. He's a washed-up loser. Ever since Electra, he's been coasting on his reputation. Leave it to Mike to rub salt in all of my figurative literary wounds. That's why I'm so angry.
- Ken C., Dec 30, 2008, 9:23pm EST
Now the party moves to Mike's quote of the day...
The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.
- Elizabeth Clarkson Zwart
Everyone who has read my stuff knows how much I struggle with commas. Maybe I'm imagining things, but I think Mike is ribbing me again.
Mike and I are having a knock-down feud over the whole Sophocles thing. I swear, and who would dare argue the fact: my work is better than anything Sophocles has written in the last 2,400 years. That old Greek is coasting, I tell you. Sure, he was the hot new kid in town when he first splashed on the scene, but that was a long time ago. It's time to choose, Mike. Are you with Sophocles or me? I'm so angry I could chew apostrophes and spit commas.
- Ken C., Dec 31, 2008, 10:38am EST
Sophocles has been dead for 2400 years, so my taunt is a safe one.
I would never suggest anyone get in a battle of wits with Mike. He's smart and quick with a quip.
Obviously I didn't allow a comparison of Sophocles as he is not of sufficient greatness to be elevated to the same pinnacle as word crafting titans like Ken Coffman. To have drawn him in would have been an extreme denigration to that greatness. Nobody knows of Oedipus or Antigone. Aeschylus and Euripides are the beacons of the ages shining with the same rarified genius of light that we are graced with when looking upon the divine countenance of Ken Coffman, writer extraordinaire.
- ML S., Dec 31, 2008, 10:52am EST
Oh, is that it? Never mind, then.
- Ken C., Dec 31, 2008, 11:01am EST
And finally:
As it turns out, the bitter feud with Mike was a simple misunderstanding. I withdraw the thirty-pace, blunderbuss duel challenge. For those who wagered on the fatal outcome, Pat is refunding your money, minus a small handling fee.
I apologize. Being flamed by that old Greek Sophocles always sets me off.
In the spirit of the holiday, if Sophocles agrees to behave himself, it's okay with me if he hangs out with the Wombats.
- Ken C., Dec 31, 2008, 11:47am EST
Perhaps this isn't half as funny as I think it is, but that would still be pretty damn funny, wouldn't it? And if, like me, it inspired you to take a quick look at the ‘titans' of Greek literary history, that's not a bad thing at all.
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Comments: 17
heh.
I still remember Mike pretending to be sort of a goofy, backwater hick. Right, Mike. And not a writer either. Sure thing, my man. Whatever you say. Wink.
A subject which will not bear reality is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit. (Some dead poet said that but I’m too lazy to look it up ...)
Alas, all is lost when even Antigone isn't spared the harsh word.
Ken, it's almost as funny as you thought it was. heh
I had this loooooooooooong VERY UNgeneric comment typed out here and since I'm on my laptop my mouse, who apparently has a mind of its own decided to wander down the screen and click on one of those links and I LOST EVERY damn thing that I just typed!!!!!
So, now I will take a break and come back and try it again. I hope my next one will be as good as the lost one. :-)
I will come back shortly.
Punctuation is for lazy people....
I once used my brother's iphone to type an email to a friend and could not find the puncuation marks so my whole email until the very end was puncuationless it was like a puzzle and though I thought it was quite funny I'm not sure he saw the humor in it I figured he could come up for air whenever he saw fit to and then I decided to just type the punctuation instead period That way coma he could at least know when to breathe period
I do enjoy your warped sense of humor period Or was it weird sense of humor question mark smiley face My mouse is acting crazy again exlamation points This coma apparently coma will not be as loooong as my original lost version period But coma it's basically what I wanted to say period
I have a friend coma who says wouldnt for wasnt and I never correct her because I think it's funny period Notice coma I am using apostrophes because I'm only a little lazy this morning period smiley face with a tonue sticking out
I hope you're having a wonderful Saturday and getting as much sleep as you desire period I certainly am not doing what I had planned doing dot dot dot which is sleeping in period big fat smiley face goes here period