The Case of The Missing Consonant: (Tip of the hat to Magi)

Introduction

The case of the missing consonant may leave some with disbelief, but hear me out please. Just a bit of courtesy, to not scan this story like sand stuck between your toes, but like a beach ball that rose into the sunny sky defiant. Although the reader might be thinking meter by now, or less likely bird feeders, and one holy cow: The story is not about any of these as you're about to see as it takes place in eighteen sixty-three.

Marshall Banks was new to the Alphabet and of course wanted to make a good impression. He quickly learned his boss, Maxcaress Fremm, or Ms. Max, liked workers who took the initiative. She actually kept score on Marshall. He was the only man on Alphabet Farm and was expected to perform a lot of services. Everyone on the farm called Marshall Marge, so he would fit in. When it was discovered he was Scottish, he was required to wear a Kilt and had a Bagpipes teacher teach him eight octaves. Marshall (Marge) can now sing first tenor, except in Winter, when he sings bass because his legs shiver.

Sorry about all the excessive descriptions. I'm just trying to be modern, hip, hep, cool in my nose to the pavement writing style. I don't know if I need such a delivery, but this Interlude is over, so back to the tale.

Marge of course was rather attracted to more than one of the ladies and of course thought his odds pretty good to snare a wife. He soon felt a swoon for Sister Jane, who claimed to be a Nun. That much was true, but Jane was without her Habit. To the farm ladies, she was a bit loopy. You might say she was the Hippie of her time. Jane had decided to go on a vacation. Rather unusual, but the Mother Superior liked Jane because Jane's brownies made her feel good. Jane, of course, wore only blue jeans and a male Yale sweatshirt. Her compass was broken and she had taken a wrong turn. The farm girls welcomed her in and stood in line to ride her horse.

Jane certainly did not encourage, but was sympathetic to Marge. However, his very very hairy legs made her have doubts and consider Darwinism. She started keeping track of Marshall's banana consumption to see if there was any possibility he could be the missing link. It seemed the ladies liked bananas much more than Marshall. She felt relieved to keep her Theology files intact. Her penance was to treat Marshall special as if he were third cousin to the Pope. It was quite sinful then to compare any man to an ape.

Ms Max had family coming in from Las Vegas. It was going to be Candy Max's one hundredth birthday. Ms Max called an assembly and asked, 'Who wants to bake a birthday cake.' Marshall sprang to his feet and said, 'I'll do it.' Ms Max smiled and said, 'Oh Marge you instill so much confidence into me. Marge asked if he could have Jane assist him. When asked why Jane, Marshall said, 'She looks good in a sweater.' Everyone agreed this was a good answer, so Jane and Marge were alone in the kitchen when ...,

Disclaimer: All characters in this story have no resemblance to Gather members from the neck up.