The Gift of Giving

'Tis better to give than to receive.

There are times when this proves false, but even more times, however, when the phrase rings completely true. The act of giving becomes a gift...not only to the recipient, but to the giver as well. I learned the art of giving as a young child. I watched my grandmother and my great-grandmother give freely of their gifts of time and self, and knew that one day I'd feel the powerful tug in my own heart to be a giver.

Some people admonish me for having a giving nature.

"You'll get used."

"People will never return the favor."

They just don't get the gist of the matter. The act of giving dwells in one's heart. It has nothing to do with wealth or opportunity. For those who love to give, dollar signs rarely enter the equation. I have friends and relatives with oodles of money. They write a check at Christmas time to benefit this organization or that foundation....but this is all too easy. These same folks wouldn't be caught dead dishing up mashed potatoes in a soup kitchen. I am also blessed with friends without the proverbial pot to p&$s in, and they'd give someone in need the last dime they had. These people have the true gift of giving in their hearts.

People with "the gift" don't give with conditions. There are no strings attached. No rights and wrongs are tallied, and no expectation of any form of repayment exists. The giving is done out of love, caring, and genuine kindness. No one will acknowledge their gift. Many times the giver remains anonymous.

"But I have nothing to give."

This is a common excuse, used by people who don't have the gift of giving. Those who want to give to others will find a way to do so.

A senior citizen I once knew saved her laundry money for a month. She hand washed and line dried her meager garments in her small apartment, saving a total of $24 by the end of the month. She gave this money, along with two rolls of pennies to sponsor a local family's holiday dinner. Knowing exactly what her limited budget entailed, she opted to forgo something (quite creatively, I might add) in order to help someone less fortunate than herself.

A young mother I know has all she can do to pay her rent and feed her two small children. Yet every year between Thanksgiving and Christmas, she works tirelessly calling retail stores for donations of food and clothing that she and many members of her church assemble into gift baskets for families in need. The gift of time is priceless.

A young family I know (they live on state assistance due to serious mental and medical issues) visit a local nursing home once a month, spending the better part of a Saturday or Sunday afternoon visiting patients there. They don't have a relative in the home. It is their way of giving. They arrive after lunch and drop by the rooms of folks who receive little to no company. The mom helps some of the ladies brush their hair and paint their fingernails. The teenage son and daughter bring board games and puzzles and offer to spend some time with some of the patients. The dad brings donated sports magazines and finds seasonal games on TV....offering to talk sports and watch games with some of the elderly gentlemen. They all offer to read to those with limited sight, and perform little tasks like straightening drawers, sewing on buttons, or writing letters for patients.

Face it. Our hearts are as big as we allow them to grow. Yes, we take chances by reaching out with our hearts. After all, who hasn't experienced the sting of rejection? Most people, however, respond in kind to love and kindness.

Give it a try. Tap your inner resources for ways to become a giver. It needn't happen only at Christmas time. There are folks in need of various things the whole year through. If you're uncertain of your capacity to give, start small. A kind word. A cup of coffee to a friend having a bad day. A phone call saying, "I was thinking of you and wanted to say hello." Little things can mean a lot.

And who knows? You may just find that you have "the gift." Trust me. You will wind up being the greatest recipient of all.