Last Chance to 'Love Your Enemy #5' :):) Examples Given and Needed.

FINALLY WINDING DOWN ... AND ENDING :)

I'll end with only two more examples & maybe a hand out.  Hopefully some of you will have some examples you can share with us.

Two reasons that is helpful. It's encouraging to hear your victory and it might give someone else just the idea they need to get rid of bitterness in their own life.

It's hard to know which to share. There are so many small victories ... and they're all a little boring written out :)

Maybe the story of  my X sons in law could give you some ideas.

My oldest daughter is so kind and loving. Her spouse became more and more selfish.They adopted two children as he could not have his own. He didn't treat them nice.

Everyone has a past. He told me, when they were dating, that his Mom didn't like him. Right! I've talked to young people before.  Their parents tell a different side to their stories :)

However . . .

His parents were in a different state and I met his Mom on the phone.  In our discussion she mentioned that she had never liked D.  How sad. She had shared that with him at a young age.

Anyway, things got worse for my daughter. She finally shared with me that he had been going out on her.

Actually, at this time with an older teen ager in the church.  She had suspected & then overheard a phone call.   I had noticed the girl chasing and flirting with him at Church.

Not blaming her more than him, just stating a fact because I had been concerned about the situation. He was older and married and the greater responsibility was with him.

My daughter told him it was over and he had to leave the house. His parents were furious and broke contact with him.

I was also angry. So ... I invited him to live with me for a short time until he could make financial arrangements for someplace to stay.

I was very straight forward with D. He knew just how I felt. But as soon as he came in I could honestly say to him, 'I love you. I want you to straighten your life out.'  Also, the girl he said he loved was in a Northern state for a visit and was afraid to come home as the info would be out soon.

I resented her so badly ... I took a deep breath and asked him if he would ask her to talk with me. I would help her walk through it.  He got her on the phone. She was afraid to talk to me but consented with his pressure.  

We talked for some time and I heard the little girl in her.  She had always done everything right. Been the good girl.  This was to be a very big fall in the eyes of her parents and the community. She was very afraid.

I told her she needed to come home and tell her parents now, before it all came out. She said she just couldn't. I offered to go with her.  This we did. Somehow, God removed the girls actions, in my mind, from the pain that my daughter was going through.  I could empathize with her and really did have feelings of love and protection.

I was happy to see she was genuinely finding her way back to God again.

D soon found an apt and had the money to move in, but we kept up with him.

It was a little hard on my daughter that I helped the girl. But she knew what I was doing and why. She also knew I was very honest with the girl about what she had done.  My daughter had to do the same thing somewhere along the line.  And she did.

Meanwhile, without exaggeration I can say that as I worked with those two, walking them through the mess they made, requiring both of them to admit to church authorities what they had done, I did have a great deal of love for them. The bitterness I started with was gone.  There is so much more to people than just what  they did wrong.  But unless we step into their side of the battle, we don't focus on it.

My sadness and ache for my daughter was helped by the fact that her pain was short lived.  She had been suffering with suspicions about other affairs for a long time and I hadn't known.  Shortly, she was actually relieved that he was gone and an old pressure lifted off of her.  She also found a wonderful man and they've had a good marriage. D allowed him to re adopt the children although he was still free to visit all he wanted. 

Let me just say I've stayed close to my other X sons in law.  In fact, through contact with one of them after he left my daughter, he accepted the Lord as his Savior and asked my daughter to remarry him.   He was crestfallen when she said no. (He he.)

She made him court her for quite a while ... and then married him. They are still together and both, with their children, are growing with the Lord.

Loving your enemy never hurts. :)

It doesn't mean there are no confrontations. The truth ought to be spoken. You can't get on with life unless your cards are on the table in close or family relationships.

I'll leave family behind :)

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THE ENEMY I DIDN'T THINK GOD COULD HANDLE

It's really a nonsense story. But the one I had the worst time with. I was the one in the wrong :)   I was a case worker for the welfare office. So was she, Mary B.  She had been there since before they moved into the building and a long time before. She walked around like she owned the place.  And people let her.

Workers, for one reason or another sometimes had to get a case from someone else's case load, usually due to a name change.  We called the other worker & went and picked up the case. Or ... if a child on the case got married and opened her own case, we would go the other other workers area and get birth certificate, social security card etc copies.

Mary B never did. She would call us and ask us to bring it to her. & we did. But it irritated me to death. And she knew it.

One day, when she called, I said, "I'll pull the case and put it on the my clerks desk for you Mary." 

"That will be fine."

She hummed as she came into the room, picked the case up and left.  I felt great. I'd finally won.

Another parent and I shared taking our two girls to school. She took them, I picked them up.  The little girl had prayed for her Mom for several years. We did when we thought of it but didn't really know her.  Finally one day, the little girl was thrilled because her Mom had accepted Christ.

When I dropped her off that afternoon, I went in to talk to her Mom. She had never known anything about God and was so delighted in Him. She was a bartender at a restaurant and bar in town.  When I told her where I worked, she said,

"Oh, do you know Mary B?" 

'Oh-h-h-h, yes I do.' 

"Isn't she the most beautiful woman?" 

(What!?#!? Beautiful? NO. She's fat and ugly.)  

'Wel-l-l-l-l ...'

"I just love her. She is the funniest, kindest woman.

You be sure and tell her hi for me."

'I will, I will.  Well, I better go. I just wanted to tell you how happy I am for you.'

Why was I so uncomfortable? Because her joy in Christ was so pure His presence so great I was humiliated in front of Him. Why had I allowed this enemy in my life? Why had I not chosen to love her? 'Because it wouldn't work in this instance. Nothing could make me love her. I don't want to love her.'

The next day at work I either talked or thought fast because I didn't want my thoughts to go to her. I didn't want to think about God. It was hopeless. There was no possible way I would deal with her. Then, without hardly meaning to, I stood up. Everything in me yelled "NO!" but I just kept picking up one foot and setting it down in front of the other.  I don't know why I was walking toward her door. I had nothing to say to her. I could NOT love her ... but I just kept lifting each heavy foot as I walked down the hall. Why was I going? What was I going to say? What was I doing ?!#%?

I opened the door to the fairly large room. They were doing reconstruction work and were storing all the office dividers in that room with the only desk, hers, back in the corner.  I kept walking feeling panic inside because I had nothing to say as I jig jagged through all the dividers. I couldn't believe I was actually going to face her momentarily.

As I stepped around the last divider Mary looked up ... I actually gasped out loud and stared at her. She was beautiful. And I couldn't help it, I said that to her. 'Mary, you ARE beautiful.' 

And in that very moment I loved her.

I told her I had never really seen how pretty she was before, but the waitress at the bar & restaurant had mentioned her last night. 'She told me how beautiful you were, and what a nice person you were.  I just wanted to share that with you.'

All bad feelings were gone. I walked back down the hall wanting to sing. Not just because I loved Mary, but because I didn't trust God at all; I didn't intend to go down there; but He somehow took me there and faithfully filled my heart with love.

I didn't deserve this reward, but He wanted me to have it.

"I will never doubt you again Lord."

I could hardly keep from crying all afternoon because, I could not trust Him in this silly stupid pettiness but He cared about me, and worked His work anyway & I was just so happy.

Life isn't orderly. I'd had heavy tragedies ... and it was pretty easy to trust Him and obey.  This nonsense, I couldn't overcome without Him dragging me down there and even taking control of the dialogue. But He rewarded me equally.

What can I say?  Just do it :)  

AND THEN COME SHARE WITH US :):)

Anxious for God to use you?     Use Me Lord

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