It can be so difficult at times to take a step back and put things in our lives into the proper perspective. We often feel conflicted between family obligations and our need to just live in peace.
Right now I'm having to take a step back in my own life.
Every year, my sister and her family come to spend Christmas Day with us. We exchange gifts and have dinner together. It's always a a lot of fun, and something we all look forward to. Well, my sister informed me the other day that she is not participating in Christmas this year...simply because she has no money for gifts. My sister knows, and I told her as well that none of us care if she has gifts for us. We just want to spend time with her. Still, she will not budge. Part of this is due to her stubborn nature (which she gets from my mother). My sister loves Christmas, and I know that she is depressed over her financial situation. I understand that. But I still wish she would come over and allow us to give our gifts and make a nice dinner for her and her family.
My older sister, who lives 2 hours away is supposed to come down for Christmas as well. But she called me today to inform me that she isn't coming either, because she thinks me and my sister have not treated her right. What she is upset about is the fact that we were unable to come and visit her two weeks ago. The reason we were unable to go was because I was sick with the stomach flu for 3 days. My sister was then unable to go with her husband due to finances....(the same reason they cannot afford gifts or even a Christmas tree).
Anyway, I am feeling stressed over this...but deep down I know there really isn't anything I can do about either one of them. If my younger sister wants to be stubborn and not come for Christmas, I can't let it ruin my time with my husband and children. I will pack up their gifts, make them some dinner plates and take it to them later on in the day. If they want them...fine. If they don't...fine.
If my older sister chooses to not come, then that is her problem as well. I can't be made to feel guilty for being sick and not being able to visit her two weeks ago.
Regardless of what either one of them do, I will have a nice Christmas with my husband and children. Am I being selfish? Can you think of other way I could handle this situation?
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Comments: 21
Your older sister well she just has to get over the fact that you were sick you had no busienss going to anywhere when you were sick.
Sorry again I hope it works out.
1) older sister selfish making you and other sis feel guilty
2) younger sister selfish, not wanting to participate and understand that you know she did her best. She just wants to feel sorry for herself.
YOU did what you could, and will continue with the plates and the gifts. What they do is THEIR problem!
As for your older sister,I think I would just leave her alone. It sounds likes she'd be miserable if she did come and who wants to deal with that on Christmas.
Priscilla...I see your point too...about taking her gifts to her may only make her feel even worse. I just want her to know that I really do care. Maybe she would at least let me bring them some dinner. I bought food to prepare for all of these families and now two of them won't even be here. I have a 20 lb turkey and there is no way my family can eat it all.
As for my older sister, I believe she is being selfish and I'm not going to worry about her. One of the reasons I didn't go and visit her was because I didn't want her to catch my flu...but I suppose she doesn't appreciate that....sigh.
It's all about spending time together. That is the true gift you can give your sisters. My beloved brother died of brain cancer almost four years ago. The last good photo I have of him is taken Christmas day. He and his wife look so happy. Who would guess that would be his last Christmas that we would all share.