by William Dotani
Member since:
October 27, 2006

Snowflake

December 19, 2008 01:33 AM EST (Updated: December 19, 2008 03:21 AM EST)
views: 157 | comments: 61

Snowflake on journey from high cloud to earth
Spotted by a child, first time, beauty swirled
Silent wonder, magically enchanting
Snowflakes fill the air, lithe cosmic dancing
Spotting some on window saying goodbye
Silent night, this Holy night turning white

Unicorns playing in the snow alone
Under the pages needing snow globe glow
Ultimately snowmen taking shape and places
Unicorn smiles while tying skate laces
Under each full moon, night season glisten
Ultimately off on a vacation

Nudge day or night with appreciation
Nurturing solace, inner elation
Nutritious blessing of spirit this night
Nudge in timeless moonlight, Santa's sleigh ride
Nurturing cool white magical delight
Nutritious cloud, let the snowflakes fly   

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Comments: 61

Kelly M. Dec 19, 2008, 1:51am EST
Love it!
Teresa T. Dec 19, 2008, 1:53am EST
Nice!
Heather C. Dec 19, 2008, 2:14am EST
Love the format spelling sun! Great poem! Great poem for this time of year! Thanks William!
Elsie Duggan Dec 19, 2008, 3:13am EST
How very beautiful and you used the nurturing sun in the format, I love this poem William, that old thinking cap is sure doing it's work. Goodnight William , take care of yourself, love, Elsie
Sue T. Dec 19, 2008, 3:24am EST
Oh how lovely, William. I can picture it, wish I could have experienced the magic of snowflakes in the moonlight as a child.
Another lovely Christmas poem! I like the way that the beginning letters of each line of the three stanzas spell SUN, six times over.

Perhaps the white Christmas has you wishing for some sun...if so, you should be in Oz.
William Dotani Dec 19, 2008, 3:51am EST
Magi, Everything in this poem is divisible by 3 except the lines which contain 10 syllables each. One more than 9 divisible by 3. That one is what you want to make it.
Lisa Frost Dec 19, 2008, 4:09am EST
That is so cool. I love the writing, format and all!!
William Dotani Dec 19, 2008, 4:12am EST
Thank you.
Bridget ♥ Dec 19, 2008, 4:14am EST
very beautiful
really great poem Wm........
so sorry I've been neglecting you sir.........
William Dotani Dec 19, 2008, 5:33am EST
Randee, I do not feel neglected. I'm always thankful for any comment.
Lawrence U. Dec 19, 2008, 5:38am EST
Well crafted, william! This is a wonderful poem flavored with vivid imagery - the last stanza captures the moment very well, indeed. A pleasure to read!!
JOHN BECK Dec 19, 2008, 6:14am EST
William, that's a clever way to bring the sun to us in poetry appropriate to the season. I'm not familiar with the format where you repeat two words in each sestet and use the same initial letter in each stanza, creating a word vertically. This could reflect my lack of knowledge of poetry structure or it could suggest originality on your part. You never fail to stimulate my 70 year old synapses, William. Thank you for posting this lovely poem.
John F Walter Dec 19, 2008, 7:43am EST
Quite an original structure, Bill, with the use of multiples of three everywhere and the acrostic sun dance. You move from real snowflakes to ones under glass, into fantasy figures we build (snowmen) or fantasise (unicorns) or mythologise (Santa) appearing out of the whirl of snow´s infinitesimal geometric crystalline patterns.
Svetlana Goryacheva Dec 19, 2008, 8:10am EST
Admirable, and oh-h, so uplifting! ;-)

Blessings and best wishes - S.
Barbary Chaapel Dec 19, 2008, 8:23am EST
Ever since my first snowflake I've been trying to count them, see if there are really six points.

"Spotting some on window saying goodbye" What a sweet line that is, William.
Marianne M. Dec 19, 2008, 8:53am EST
Watching snow fall is very peaceful and calming ... and not at all like watching paint dry ... lovely words, Bill!
Kimberly Ripley Dec 19, 2008, 8:58am EST
Such a creative form! You've managed to make me appreciate snowflakes, despite the fact that I really don't like them, and we're expecting an abundance of them here starting any time now!!
Ann M. (Site Scryer) Dec 19, 2008, 9:36am EST
I love the way you've given form to the magic of Christmas and winter.
Bhawana 'Gather Proud Mom' Dec 19, 2008, 11:28am EST
White Christmas...Oh!!!I saw once...you create magic in every season.
Marge H. Dec 19, 2008, 1:44pm EST
Oh my! How wonderfully creative and elegant! I love the acrostic too.
Curt L. Dec 19, 2008, 2:31pm EST
Brilliant!
Wade A. Dec 19, 2008, 3:30pm EST
Cool! Well crafted and visually evocative. You must be the "SUN" king.
Donald M. Dec 19, 2008, 4:19pm EST
Nice poem, I thought you would be tired of snow already.
Cristina S. Dec 19, 2008, 6:26pm EST
Bill, between the SUN and the snowflakes and the perfect crafting - this is delightful!
Donna C. Dec 19, 2008, 8:32pm EST
Very nice pictures you paint here.
I really like the format.
Marie J. R. Dec 19, 2008, 10:03pm EST

Merry Christmas Comments

Spicecomments.com - Merry Christmas Comments



This writing is bright as you my dear,,, warmth from the SUN adds special glee,,, Bless you and yours,,,
Tracy Fabre Dec 19, 2008, 11:24pm EST
Sunshine
Underscored
Neatly

...
Dena Straughn Dec 20, 2008, 2:58am EST
I want to play in the snow with you. You see way more delightful things than I do.
Alison H. Dec 20, 2008, 3:01am EST
Playful and inspired.....

"Nurturing cool white magical delight
Nutritious cloud, let the snowflakes fly"

Love it!
Marinela Kotsina Dec 20, 2008, 3:34am EST
Snowflakes and unicorns...this is my magic world and such a wonderful gift for Christmas!
You know how to touch one's heart and you certainly touched mine.
I needed so much to "ride again" in the magic world and stay there for a while..and thank you for giving me this chance which I will treasure it for days to come.
Although my heart is troubled, reading your words I got myself in the Christmas spirit.
joy and love around the world
Wilhelmine Estabrook Dec 20, 2008, 7:34am EST
Lyth cosmic dancing. Like your fine words, William.
Happy Christmas.
penni d. Dec 20, 2008, 8:55am EST
Took me back in time to age 5, when I REALLY thought there were UNICORNS dancing with the snowflakes, William...Mother tried to tell me they were just pygmy goats, but we know better, don't we (wink)?
I have not been on for a couple of months, until this week, due to, well, LIFE, but when I do come on, you are the first person i look for...thank you, William, for ALL of your entertaining Writes, and for your very nice comments... Blessings, my friend.
M & M. Dec 20, 2008, 11:59am EST
So beautiful. Thank you.
Paula Love Dec 20, 2008, 1:18pm EST
I truly felt as if I was watching it snow! William I hope your holidays are grand!
Debra C. Dec 20, 2008, 1:51pm EST
The images of snowflakes and unicorns will give me wonderful dreams tonight, William.
What a marvelous piece. I can sense within your words the bringing together of a variety of spiritual custom for the season and specifically linked by the beauty of G-d's creation of heaven and earth.
Barbara B. Dec 20, 2008, 4:31pm EST
Oooh my goodness William this was ceratinly very entertaining.
Barbara B. Dec 20, 2008, 4:33pm EST
Just to let you know I have posted part two on my new series.
Hoping you will enjoy this William.
Hugs n Love
Barbie
Ellie !. Dec 20, 2008, 5:34pm EST
This is very lovely. And I hate snow.
Merry Christmas. I need to update the "That's not a tree." post. Middle daughter and her boyfriend carried one up the hill. It's only 6', but it smells good and is real.
:-)
Deloris Wright Dec 20, 2008, 10:06pm EST
Great poem William. Tkank you,
Kushal Poddar Dec 20, 2008, 11:34pm EST
Beautiful writing. Nuturing solace is what I am thinking about.

forever autumn at the park
Sujata (funnily 'Suji' ) S. Dec 21, 2008, 12:38am EST
it's magical read ! Blessed not to miss the snow-flakes gesturing

in good faith of falling beauty so in celebratio white Christmas !!!
Kenna C. Dec 21, 2008, 10:32am EST
William, I love your imagery and use of language. I is truly magical.

I also like the fact that your latter pattern spells SUN. Intentional or not, I appreciate the play on words of the season!
Kelly M. Dec 21, 2008, 11:05am EST
well done!
Adrian Eve Revenaugh Dec 21, 2008, 4:08pm EST
William,
What a kick. Had the fun of a cross word hunt, a counting exercise, re textualizing for the condensed version, and the Magi dance swirls in a glass globe.
Now, aren't you clever. I like this game. Thank You
Adrian Eve Revenaugh Dec 21, 2008, 4:11pm EST
Happy Winter/Light Returning
Samantha G. Dec 21, 2008, 5:52pm EST
I loved this line the best: "Spotted by a child, first time, beauty swirled
Silent wonder, magically enchanting". The entire piece is beautifully written and the words conjure up the images in my mind. Such a peaceful and wonderful poem. Talent lives.
Lou Anne L. Dec 21, 2008, 10:13pm EST
thanks for the sunny outlook...on this snowless frigid evening here.
Elsie Duggan Dec 22, 2008, 1:56am EST
Just checking you out William and reading this magical poem again, and all the wonderful comments. you deserve them, thanks for stopping by, glad you are taking a bit of respite, we all need to do that now and then. Take care William, goodnight. love, Elsie
Elaine K. Dec 22, 2008, 10:04am EST
You have such a wonderful talent William! Thank you for sharing with us!
Maureen M. Dec 22, 2008, 12:39pm EST
Excellent visuals. I felt like i was standing right there catching my own snowflake
Sheila Deeth Dec 22, 2008, 9:01pm EST
Oh, I loved this. William, you are sharing such wonderful gifts for Christmas! I loved reading about the structure too. Very neat.
Curt L. Dec 23, 2008, 12:34am EST
Magical for me! Danke!
Kelly M. Dec 24, 2008, 10:08am EST
Thanks for paying it forward to me! Merry Christmas!
Michelle W. Jan 6, 2009, 2:25pm EST
We had SNOW in HOUSTON on Dec. 10, 2008 --- and I knew ... I live much too far north! But the flakes were pretty as they fell. Nice reminder!

Thanks for posting in Journey Into Poetry !
Wilma M. Jan 21, 2009, 11:24pm EST
What an intriguing format! I'm very late getting here but glad I finally made it. Snowflakes are a wonder to see.
Wilma M. Jan 21, 2009, 11:24pm EST
It's just that large masses of them become discouraging!
d2the4 .. Mar 4, 2009, 8:53pm EST
I think you've both captured and created magic with your words on this beautiful poem!
Curt L. Jul 20, 2009, 12:41pm EDT
I'm in my Christmas in July mode and this is so emboldening!

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