by Esther IS Flesh and Blood S.
Member since:
May 8, 2007

Question of the Day

December 17, 2008 03:19 PM EST
views: 178 | comments: 70

What is better, to have had and lost or never have had it at all?

This goes for anything and everything that you can imagine.  Love, materialistic things, anything that you can think of.

Lets discuss!



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Comments: 70

Mary Bee Dec 17, 2008, 3:20pm EST
Love this song! Saw them live a few years ago....

Okay back to the question...
Bridget ♥ Dec 17, 2008, 3:21pm EST
to have had and lost
Beth - Doing God's work Daily J. Dec 17, 2008, 3:22pm EST
It is better to have loss than to ever have had it all. For Jesus gave his life for those he loved.
Harper S. Dec 17, 2008, 3:24pm EST
A passion or many passions are what make life worth living.
t w. Dec 17, 2008, 3:24pm EST
to have lost, most of the time!
Cheryl W. Dec 17, 2008, 3:25pm EST
To have and then to have lost is best, by far....:)
Sarah (I want points) Dec 17, 2008, 3:29pm EST
I would say it's better to have not loved at all...
David P. Dec 17, 2008, 3:38pm EST
I think it may be too hard to generalize on this. If you are talking about having great parents like I had, it is better to have this great love and then loss than never to have this. If you are talking about having a great girlfriend or wife and then having it break up in a big messy situation, I'd rather never have had it in the first place. If you are talking about sports teams, I think it is better to have had a great championship season (or a Perfect Season like the 1972 Miami Dolphins) and then go about 35 years never winning another championship then never to have won the big one at all.
Gary (aka: William Pinn) J. Dec 17, 2008, 3:46pm EST
Better to have dreamed about it and not have experienced the ugly reality that goes with it...unless you're into pain...then it's all good!
Lisa Frost Dec 17, 2008, 3:47pm EST
To have, or risk to achieve and lose is better than never having made the attempt and wondering what if........
lets face it........you have to say "have had and lost".....
that's one of the fulfillments to the true meaning of life...
Sandy (back in Ohio...blah!) Dec 17, 2008, 3:57pm EST
I think it is better to have and lost. Tha n to never have at all. As if you had something and lost it. You have an experience you either can learn from or was taught something. Where as if you never had any at all....theres nothing to learn.
Elaine S. Dec 17, 2008, 4:09pm EST
It's better to have Loved and Lost than to never have Loved at all.
Kimberly Ripley Dec 17, 2008, 4:12pm EST
Definitely to have loved and lost. Otherwise you'd never know what you were missing!
dean t. Dec 17, 2008, 4:20pm EST
Only love and understanding can be taken into the next life. A happy life full of joy can never be wrong. Love is what brought us to this Earth and the power that helped make it in the first place so what love is lost should be going some place. Yet you are love Esther and should know all about this.
Janie E. Dec 17, 2008, 4:33pm EST
Very good question!!!! I'd have to say to have had and lost!
♥♥LoViNg♥LiFe♥ ♥♥ Dec 17, 2008, 4:44pm EST
elaine is right on with this one.
David P. Dec 17, 2008, 4:58pm EST
Esther, what is your opinion? You're not getting off that easy. You basically have lit the firecracker and then run away. But the Gather police have found you and now you have that one light bulb shining into your face at the precinct. Confess, Esther, confess!!
David P. Dec 17, 2008, 5:00pm EST
William, as Barry White would say, "Right on."
Jennifer R. Dec 17, 2008, 5:00pm EST
I personally think it is better to have had than to never have had at all because having something in turn gives you experiences and life is nothing without it's experiences.
D.B. D. Dec 17, 2008, 5:19pm EST
Never have had.. either one, love or material.. Wake up Maggie...

Maggie I wish I’d never seen your face
I’ll get on back home one of these days
Marianne R. Dec 17, 2008, 5:32pm EST
Better to have had.
Robert - just a simple man - B. Dec 17, 2008, 6:05pm EST
Esther, don't forget you're suppose to call.....
Robert - just a simple man - B. Dec 17, 2008, 6:06pm EST
One certain, very fine day in Tucson last Christmas. Though it didn't last as we thought it might (or as I thought it might), I would not have missed that day for all the world.

Yep, it was that special. I hope there's other special days like that waiting for me down the road............

:+)
Apryl Just Apryl Dec 17, 2008, 6:07pm EST
I think to never have had at all because then you wouldn't know what you're missing
Charles Temm JR Dec 17, 2008, 6:16pm EST
better to have and lost than never to have had...at least you can say you once had anyway
Cindy B. Dec 17, 2008, 6:43pm EST
Great Q.!! =) =)
Old Crow (straight, but not narrow) Dec 17, 2008, 7:03pm EST
I wouldn't trade what I've had for anything.
JOHN BECK Dec 17, 2008, 7:35pm EST
Sure. I had Lexy, my Samoyed, for many happy years. Now that she's gone, it's better to have had her and lost her than never have had her at all.
Patricia J. Dec 17, 2008, 7:41pm EST
To have had and lost is better than never having. It hurts when you lose sometimes it hurts when you have but you don't know you are alive if you don't have the joy and the pain.
Jules ~ Dec 17, 2008, 7:44pm EST
Great question. I'd say overall, it's better to have had and lost. Loss hurts. But it also teaches. And learning, for me, is what life is all about.

And besides, I had the chicken pox and they went away. It safeguarded me from getting them again. :)
Lawrence U. Dec 17, 2008, 9:54pm EST
It's better to have had and lost, Esther! What do you think? :)
Esther IS Flesh and Blood S. Dec 17, 2008, 10:04pm EST
Mary Bee ~ You forgot to answer the question.

I too saw the Moody Blues a few years ago and they are a show not to be missed!

Glad you liked the song. ;)
Esther IS Flesh and Blood S. Dec 17, 2008, 10:05pm EST
Bridget ~ I would have to agree with you wholeheartedly with you.

Thanks!
Esther IS Flesh and Blood S. Dec 17, 2008, 10:18pm EST
Beth ~ I'm not quite sure what you meant but if you're saying it be better to have lost after having had then I understand.

Thanks!
Esther IS Flesh and Blood S. Dec 17, 2008, 10:20pm EST
Harper ~ You are absolutely right on with that response unfortunately I was thinking about materialistic things when I posted this initially and this time I was looking to see if the opinions out there this time would be different.
dean t. Dec 17, 2008, 10:42pm EST
You are right Esther next time.
Esther IS Flesh and Blood S. Dec 17, 2008, 10:45pm EST
T.W. ~ Most of the time huh? Well I guess I feel that way too sometimes. :)
Esther IS Flesh and Blood S. Dec 17, 2008, 10:47pm EST
Cheryl ~ I agree. The feelings have been had. The experiences and memories have been made. Something my best friend in Germany would always say to me "You have your memories in your brain and in your heart, and no one can ever take those away from you."

She was so right about that 30 years ago when she initially said that to me and only much later in life did I realize how very true that was.
donna h. Dec 17, 2008, 10:48pm EST
I'm a Libra..I can't seem to come to a decision!
Esther IS Flesh and Blood S. Dec 17, 2008, 10:55pm EST
Rick ~ You know then exactly what it is that I speak of. To have had everything in the world, the career, the world at your fingertips, the home, the life you wanted and then it was gone in the flash of a few moments time.

I know that feeling as I too have experienced it and more than once in my life. I feel that we as survivors of these types of all encompassing losses make us that much stronger and that much better able to survive any future pitfalls in life.

You know as well as I do that at any moment and on any day it can happen without warning and without a moments thought. All gone. Washed away. What are you left with but yourself and your memories.

I too would prefer to have had and lost time and again than to never have experienced all of the beauty and love that life has offered me thus far.

Thanks for your input Rick.
Esther IS Flesh and Blood S. Dec 17, 2008, 11:03pm EST
Selene ~ You are so right about that hon. So right about that.

I prefer to have had the loves and lost them then to not ever have experienced the love or lust between us, to have had the homes and have made the travels all over the world that I have then not to ever have made them and just be curious about things in the world and life.

I was born to wander and experiment and loss comes with that sort of person. It has always been so important to remember that from ashes we came and to ashes we will return. This was a hard thing for me to learn and to learn that I would not be taking all of my things in this world with me when I left it. Sad but true.
Esther IS Flesh and Blood S. Dec 17, 2008, 11:05pm EST
Sarah ~ So you say you would prefer not to have ever loved at all? Does that mean that you would never want to feel the pain? Or perhaps the pain has kept you from wanting to be loved once more given the opportunity?

I don't think that would be a choice that I could make, but I do not judge you for your decision. Not at all.
Debra H. Dec 17, 2008, 11:15pm EST
Had and lost.

Just stopping by to wish you the very best!
Merry Christmas!

santamail
penni d. Dec 18, 2008, 12:58am EST
Some things, better to have loved and lost...other things, if you never HAD it, how can you Miss it?
Teresa T. Dec 18, 2008, 1:26am EST
I would rather never have had. Because if loss comes in abundance...then one starts regretting what they had...because so much loss is too much to bare. At least for me that is...
Karen F. Dec 18, 2008, 6:35am EST
Even though it hurts to love and have it lost to you it is better to have loved. It isn't always the real thing but when it comes along...if ever then it will be the best. Still waiting to see that one, but maybe one day soon...who knows.
(Jasper,(Disciple for Christ. w. Dec 18, 2008, 7:29am EST
That is a two way question, I loved my life and lost her. It is better that I loved her ad lost her than to have never loed her at all.If I had never loved her at all I would have missed my whole life of love and family.
Bert Van Essen Dec 18, 2008, 8:51am EST
I had great love. Now I lost the love and it hurts greatly. I choose life.
Sandy C. Dec 18, 2008, 10:15am EST
I think it is better to love and lost. May not seem like it at first.
kelldogg ! Dec 18, 2008, 11:45am EST
i would prefer to have never had at all . . . then i wouldn't know what i was missing out on!
Tara I. Dec 18, 2008, 1:08pm EST
To love and to have lost.....life's too short to be wondering "what if" all the time. There's a couple sayings that go along with this and I strongly believe in them: "never regret what once made you happy" and "everything happens for a reason" Those are in no way quoted 'cause I don't even know where I heard them for sure....I know one's from MySpace Stickers.

While it's hard to let things go sometimes, it's even harder to watch them go by and wonder what could have happened. If you go for it, you know...win or lose.
Janet Somewhere Up On The Mount Dec 18, 2008, 1:20pm EST
I'd rather to have never had rather than lossing it.
scott .. Dec 18, 2008, 2:02pm EST
Its not what I have or have had and lost , Its what I know that is so wonderful. All things that are seen are temporary. Its the things that are not seen that are forever.


Merry Christmas !
Lacey K. Dec 18, 2008, 2:40pm EST
It depends. Sometimes, the heartbreak isn't worth it. Sometimes it is.
Donna S. Dec 19, 2008, 12:56am EST
Any love is not a loss.
Great video Esther.
Aww Rick I love you too baby!
Linda T. Dec 19, 2008, 1:28am EST
Life is about experiencing the good and the bad the ups and downs. I would rather have had something than never had the opportunity to experience it.
Kelly Kay Dec 19, 2008, 10:46am EST
To experience love and loss are experiences that are vital in understanding life.
Esther IS Flesh and Blood S. Dec 19, 2008, 1:20pm EST
Dawn ~
"to have and experience and lose. i'd rather be loved than never be loved. without love, what's the point in life? it's love that keeps me going."

Exactly my point my dear.
Esther IS Flesh and Blood S. Dec 19, 2008, 1:22pm EST
Dawn ~ I know what you mean about people not knowing their Mother's love or Mother's unconditional love. That is so sad as I would not be able to make it without my Mom in my life. She is my Mother and my best friend and I will be lost when I lose her.

As for Lance, I am so sorry that you have lost him friend. I wasn't aware. I hope that you will be able to find another love someday soon.
Esther IS Flesh and Blood S. Dec 19, 2008, 1:23pm EST
David ~ Yea, yea, that's the ticket.

Too bad about the Dolphins and too bad about my Dallas Cowboys. ;(
Esther IS Flesh and Blood S. Dec 19, 2008, 1:25pm EST
Gary ~

Better to have dreamed about it and not have experienced the ugly reality that goes with it...unless you're into pain...then it's all good!
Gary (aka: William Pinn) J., Dec 17, 2008, 3:46pm ES

Do I detect bitterness in your comment my dear Sir? Naw not from you. I would prefer to be a beautiful loser than not to have ever experienced that which life is all about.
Esther IS Flesh and Blood S. Dec 19, 2008, 1:26pm EST
Lisa ~

To have, or risk to achieve and lose is better than never having made the attempt and wondering what if........

EXACTLY!
Esther IS Flesh and Blood S. Dec 19, 2008, 1:27pm EST
Randee ~

lets face it........you have to say "have had and lost".....
that's one of the fulfillments to the true meaning of life...
Randee "The Court Jester of LaLa Land ! ! !" always and forever, I just want to celebrate, Dec 17, 2008, 3:48pm ES

You're absolutely right!
Kimber L. Jan 12, 2009, 1:28pm EST
i would rather have and lose then to not have at all. I am greatful for everything I have experienced in my life. I have learned from so many different things. I have also experienced loss. I would not trade anything
Krystal Harwell Mar 24, 2009, 12:55am EDT
going thru your stuff to replay your kindness, even if i've seen it before!!

<3 Krystal

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