[on Joan Crawford] "I wouldn't piss on her if she was on fire."
[on Joan Crawford] "I see - she's the original good time that was had by all."
[on Joan Crawford] "She has slept with every male star at MGM except Lassie."
"Gay Liberation? I ain't against it, it's just that there's nothing in it for me."
"There was more good acting at Hollywood parties than ever appeared on the screen."
"I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he'd be dead within a year."
"Why am I so good at playing bitches? I think it's because I'm not a bitch. Maybe that's why Joan Crawford always plays ladies."
“Basically, I believe the world is a jungle, and if it's not a bit of a jungle in the home, a child cannot possibly be fit to enter the outside world.”
“I do not regret one professional enemy I have made. Any actor who doesn't dare to make an enemy should get out of the business.”
“I never did pal around with actresses. Their talk usually bored me to tears.”
“I survived because I was tougher than anybody else.”
“I'm the nicest goddamn dame that ever lived.”
“Sex is God's joke on human beings.”
“The best time I ever had with Joan Crawford was when I pushed her down the stairs in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?
[commenting on the death of Joan Crawford] "You should never say bad things about the dead, you should only say good . . . Joan Crawford is dead. Good."
[on costar Lillian Gish] "She ought to know about close-ups! Jesus, she was around when they invented them!"
(and because she lived longer than her co-stars, she had the last laugh)