The Eulogy I Wrote for my Great Grandmother

If you look back at the last two of my posts, you'll see that my Great Grandmother died on the 7th of this month. She was never a nice woman in her lifetime (even when she was younger), did and said horrible things to her family over the years.

My grandma asked my Uncle to help her write the Eulogy but he came up blank. My grandma called my Mom and I later to see if we could write it as my grandma knows that I do some writing online.

It was hard. There aren't that many good memories of my great grandmother. I turned to Gather and a few of you and April H. sent me some good suggestions on how to write a eulogy for someone that wasn't that nice.

Below, is what I came up with. There weren't many people at her funeral, only a few family members.  But we were all able to reconnect with each other (my great aunt and great uncle and his wife came from out of town to the funeral) and at the end we went out to eat with each other and it was really nice. A close friend of mine was watching my kids, no easy feat with my middle son being severe ADHD and my youngest in the process of being tested (we're waiting to hear back the results, it's been forever!!!). I was afraid that she'd have a hard time with my kids but my youngest was well behaved for her (probably the novelty of being watched by someone new!) while my other two had a few attitude problems when she picked them up for school.My Mom and I NEVER get to go anywhere alone because it's hard to take my youngest son out in public (no impulse control, etc). I made the comment that it was really nice to feel like a grown up. Usually I don't get to go out with the family like that.

All in all, it was a beautiful funeral. We did right by my great grandmother, though she did not do right by us in life.

Here is the Eulogy. I edited it to remove a few last names to post on Gather.

We gather here today to reflect on the life of Frances Mittleider. Frances Virginia Mittleider was born December 26th, 1920 to parents Henry and Molly Gurley and sister Mildred in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Frances was the apple of her father's eye and his little princess. She would eagerly jump into his arms, every time he came home.

She married Charles M. in 1939. During her 30 year marriage to Charles, she gave birth to Carolyn, her first born. Sharon, her loving daughter and long term caregiver. Charles, her beloved son and Judy, the baby of the family. She loved her family and raised them during a difficult era.

In 1944, Frances' husband Charles, was in the Navy fighting in World War II, leaving Frances to care for her children on her own. Frances made the decision to go to California to be located closer to her husband, who was stationed there. At the time, she only had two children, Carolyn and Sharon. Frances packed up her belongings and with her sister Mildred and her sister's child, they made the long trip from Tennessee to Northern California, by train.

Frances lived in Nothern California a short time and while she was there, worked in the Naval shipyard to do her part for the men in service of our country. She later moved to Long Beach, California where her husband was stationed aboard a trip. They lived in Navy housing and it was there that Frances gave birth to her final two chidlren, Chuck and Judy.

After Frances' marriage to Charles dissolved in 1970, she found love again with Henry Mittleider and married him in 1974. The couple lived in Corning, California and stayed married until Harvey's death in the early 1990's.

In 1994, Frances moved to Bakersfield to be closer to her daughter Sharon, and her daughter's family. In Bakersfield, she enjoyed spending time with her family and met a man, Frank George, who would be her companion until he passed away a few years later.

During her later years of life, Frances enjoyed going to the Senior Center, almost daily. Her favorite pastimes also included reading mysteries, shopping, driving her car and dancing. She enjoyed dancing more then anything in the world. When she danced, it was hard to take your eyes off her, the joy was so evident on her face and her eyes sparkled as she spun around the room.

As Frances' health started to decline, her faithful daughter Sharon took care of her, making sure that she had everything she needed, accompanying her to the doctor and more. Sharon was a rock to Frances, during the last few years of her life. Strong and steady.

We all remember Frances for different things. Some remember her as being thrifty and knowing how to squeeze a penny dry, others remember her as giving cooking advice to her daughters and daughter in law while some remember how she used to baby sit her grandchildren when they were young or how she taught one of her grandson's how to tie his shoe.

Her grandchildren, Teresa W. and Kenneth C., have memories of spending the night at Grandma's house as a child. Grandma Frances and Grandpa Charles had a kindly, old border named Walter, who would tell the youngsters stories as their Grandma listened on, with a reminiscent smile on her face thinking about the days of old.

Once Frances wanted her granddaughter and great granddaughter to visit her but they couldn't afford the gas to make the long drive to see her from Bakersfield to Corning, where Frances was living with her husband Harvey. Frances wrote a check for $20 dollars and sent it as quickly as she could  to her granddaughter to pay for gas for the trip.

Daughter in law Sandy M. fondly remembers a time with Frances that almost literally scared her to death. Frances learned to drive at a late age and was often full of surprises, even when she didn't mean to be! One day Frances was driving with Sandy to the store. Frances had something fly into her eye and tried to rub it out while driving. Sandy looked over at her mother in law as they were pulling into the parking lot and realized that Frances had BOTH eyes closed, while driving the car! The car jerked around the parking lot as Sandy exclaimed "Open your eyes!" "Open your eyes!" Luckily no one was hurt and Frances was able to laugh about it later.

One Christmas, Frances' generosity was shown when she heard that two of her grandchildren were having a hard time financially. Instead of buying them presents, she went to the bank and each gave them a cashiers check for $500 dollars. Her grandchildren have never forgotten that display of kindness from their grandmother.

Frances is survived in death by her children, daugthers Carolyn and son in law David F., Sharon and son in law John C., Judy and son in law Eddie H, and son Chuch and daughter in law Sandy Mayfield, twelve grandchildren and numousous great and great great grandchildren. She is preceded in death by her parents, Henry and Molly Gurley and by her sister Mildred. Frances would be happy to see her family together again, mourning her death but celebrating her life. She may be gone from this earth, but the memories of her will last forever.