Then The Fight Started

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I
> > was flipping the channels.
> > > >
> > > > She asked, 'What's on TV?'
> > > >
> > > > I said, 'Dust'
> > > >
> > > > And then the fight started...
>
> > =========================================================
>
> > > > My wife was hinting about what she wanted for
> > our upcoming anniversary.
> > > >
> > > > She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from
> > 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.'
> > > >
> > > > I bought her a scale.
> > > >
> > > > And then the fight started...
> > > >
>
> > =========================================================
>
> > > > When I got home last night, my wife demanded
> > that I take her someplace expensive...
> > > > so, I took her to a gas station...
> > > >
> > > > And then the fight started...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > =========================================================
> > > >
> > > > After retiring, I went to the Social Security
> > office to apply for Social Security.
> > > >
> > > > The woman behind the counter asked me for my
> > driver's license to verify my age I looked in my
> > pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
> > >>I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would
> > > > have to go home and come back later.
> > > >
> > > > The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I
> > opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She > said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough
> > for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
> > > >
> > > > When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about
> > my experience at the Social Security office.
> > > >
> > > > She said, 'you should have dropped your pants.
> > You might have gotten disability, too.'
> > > >
> > > > And then the fight started...
>
> > =========================================================
>
> > > > My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high
> > school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady > swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
> > > >
> > > > My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
> > > >
> > > > 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I
> > understand she took to drinking right after we split up > those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober > since.'
> > > > 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a
> > person could go on celebrating that long?'
> > > >
> > > > And then the fight started...
>
> > =========================================================
> > > >
> > > > I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we
> > were alongside the road and slowly the other driver
> > got out of his car.
> > You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and > little things just seem funny?
> > > >
> > > > Yeah, well I couldn't believe it ... he was a
> > DWARF!!!
> > > >
> > > > He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and
> > shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
> > > >
> > > > So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then
> > which one are you?'
> > > >
> > > > And then the fight started...
>
> > =========================================================
> > > >
> > > > THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER
> > > >
> > > > When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my
> > wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
> > But, somehow I always had something else to take care
> > of first, the truck, the car, playing golf - always
> > > > something more important to me.
> > > >
> > > > Finally she thought of a clever way to make her
> > point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated
> > in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair > of sewing scissors.
> > > > I watched silently for a short time and then
> > went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when
> > I came out again I handed her a
> > toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the
> > grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.'
> > > >
> > > > The doctors say I will walk again, but I will
> > always have a limp.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Moral to this story: Marriage is a relationship
> > in which one person is
> > > > always right, and the other is the husband.
> > > >
> >