What if you could NEVER EVER marry the person you love?

hmmmm, what would be the reason you couldn't marry the person you love? I don't think I would be ashamed if my family found out I was an "old maid."

never marry well I be ok with that for I wouldnt be sad for what I dont have. yet
never marry the one I love now,, totally different took over 25 years and one super bad marraige to get here, I wont give it up

If I couldn't marry the one I love, I would've made sure some how some way, we'd be together. Luckily the man I love (and married) has been stuck to me like glue for 35 years. lol

I wouldn't give two hoots what the family thought of me. PERIOD!! That's between you and him. Tell them you've been waiting for him. Or him for her, whatever the case may be. It's none of their business.

In some ways I could but then again in some ways I couldn't.

Hmm..I would find a way to marry the one I love..
and if people(my family) thought I was an old maid or something...well bah! I wouldn't be ashamed(:

Just being together would be special, and I don't give a flip what people might think, RE genealogy, etc.

Hmmm... Many ways to take this question! If I couldn't marry my love, but could still live with him, and be with him... Sure, I'd do it! I don't really need that paper to know I love him. If I simply couldn't be near him due to circumstances, well I guess it wasn't meant to be, was it?

I think something to remember while digging in genealogy is there is always more to the story than just the bare bones! They're a starting point. I wouldn't be embarrassed to be alone, if I had lived a good life, ya know?

I grew up, thinking that I would never get married. And, I certainly never wanted any kids.
I had babysat a lot while growing up. And, let me tell you, that it soured me on kids..
But, lo and behold, I found my soul mate while at work. We were friends first, and that counts for very much..
If I had never met him and stayed single forever, I would have been okay.
I'm content in my own company.
I always have been.

I don't know, because I did marry the love of my life, and spent 57 wonderful years with him before he passed away, if I didn't marry him, I don't think I would be the same person I am today, something about being truly in love, makes two people one, and together very strong, and when one leaves , the strength stays. And I could give a hoot what anyone thinks about me past, present or future, I always wanted to be, and am still, my own person. Take care.

Answer #1. I don't know, just keep on keeping on, I guess.

Answer #2. No it wouldn't bother me in the least.

I am not really sure. I was once married to someone I still care about and always will but he cheated on me and left me for someone else.
I am 36 now I probely will never to be able to have kids due to my illness I am scared to truthfully.

I am married. If I were widowed, I would not be able to remarry without losing my survivor's pension and health insurance. A lot of couples in this situation have commitment ceremonies. I might do something like that.

I'm divorced.... so I dont' have a real pretty thought on marriage all around. LOL I'm not bitter... just bitten.... know what I mean? I'll NEVER do it again.

As for worrying what others thought of me.... I could care less. Never have cared, never will. I have to present myself to ONE entity in this world that matters and as long as I'm happy with my life that's all that I care about... that and GOD.

Hard to imagine, I marryed the same one twice~

I wouldn't care what anyone thought looking at the family tree.

I don't really think "old maid" has the same stigma as it used to. Times change, and the way people think do too.

If I could never marry the person that I loved, I would try to find a
larger purpose for my life, such as loving all others. Or make a difference
in life in some other way.

It wouldn't bother me what others thought of me after I was gone,
as long as I lived a fulfilled life while I was here.

You can be fulfilled without having a significant other.

God bless,

I actually know two people who never married, and both are quite happy in their lives because they serve a higher purpose. When we think about all the Monks and Nuns that never marry, I don't see that as disgraceful in any way, and doubt their families do either.

I'm still waiting to marry the love of my life. I have been married, but I don't feel he was the love of my life. I'm perfectly happy no longer being wed--if there isn't a 'someone special' in your life, being single is a wonderful way to live.

Since I have 13 grandkids, it's hard to imagine the 2d.

Elena and I aren't married but it seems like we are. We are not living together but I do take care of her and little David the best I can. We share everything. I asked her to marry me but because of her past bad marriage she declined but she does want to move in together. I guess that is the best situation.

Never married but had a great love I think that is still good.

So sad...I would spend a lot of time crying.

I don't care what the family tree looks like. It is just interesting when you find someone who did things differently than most in the time they lived.

Not sure how to answer the first question.

As to the second? There's nothing wrong with not marrying anymore. Do people even use the term "old maid" anymore?

I am who I am. I hope to find a love I can share, but if I don't, then I am still me and I have been the best I could. Marital status does not say who somebody was, or tell the whole story of their life. It is the person inside me that matters, not the circumstances around me.

I can't get married to the person I love.

On number 1: This may not be an exact answer to your question but the one real-love of my life (Lisa) and I never got married although the love was mutual. We didhave a love child, a daughter who is now in her twenties. In the 80's Lisa was an alcoholic and I was too immature and too ignorant of the desease to deal with it. This has haunted me forever - you know the old "what might have been".

Now, I am happy to say she has been totally sober for 15 years. Last year she got divorced but even though she's still deeply imbedded in my heart we'll never be together. First, too many years have passed and secondly she would never, never consider moving away from home (Maine) - that is where her mom is, and where her three daughters are. and I can't earn a living in Maine.

If I could never marry the one I love because law forbid it, I would fight to repeal that law. Even if I wasn't successful, it would demonstrate my love for that person.

If I could never marry the one I love because he was married to someone else, the best thing to do would be walk away.

It wouldn't bother me if future generations thought I was an old maid. If I'm dead, what do I care what they think? LOL

Interesting questions.

I guess that it would depend on the reason that I couldn't marry them. I have been in a situation that would fit, generally, what you describe and after a fair amount of time, things changed and now we can marry.

When we were still locked into where we couldn't marry, I just made a decision to make the time that we had special. I don't want to say that I resigned myself to it, because that wasn't it. I was still hopeful. I just realized that the legal stuff wasn't as important as the love that we had/have together.

About the old maid thing....I do genealogy and the thought that I will be an "old maid" had occurred to me. I may just be a romantic at heart, but I think that if I did find an old maid in my family tree, I would imagine that she had lost the love of her life and never got over it. I would see it as totally romantic and tragic, not something to look down upon. I would respect her for it. Therefore, I don't give a hoot about what future generations decide to make of my choice.

I will tell you what I do worry about with the whole family tree thing. I have decided not to have children of my own and I don't have any siblings. I feel bad that my line stops here. What really freaks me out though, is that when the time comes, there will be no one to take care of my last wishes or anything like that. You have kids, so you don't have to worry about that.

Great post and I hope that we gave you some insight into your situation:)

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ANSWER #1. Leave together, do everything else married people do together, without being legally married. That would do it. Other than that, nothing.

Not sure WHY you could not marry them. If it wasn't possible because they were already married, then I'd stay far away from the person. If it is some other reason, though not sure what that would be--you could live with them--unless it's something you don't feel comfortable with.

I certainly wouldn't care what others thought of me after I was dead. There are many people that choose not to marry. And it's your business, not theirs, as to why.

Good luck to you.

I don't settle for second best, so I would just stay single. The old maid imagine fits me fine, I would take the old maid image to a whole new level...LOL!

I waited till I was 48 and married the first guy I had slept with 33 years before! We weren't the same kids, obviously, and it lasted 9 years.
Not looking to hook up with anyone, not for a permanent thing anyway. Didn't like the idea of marriage!

Oh, and no family left anywhere so no one to see what I got up to!

I am in a situation, where I cannot marry the one I love, and not because they are married, but because I am gay and the law forbids me that right. Because of this we both decided, to have a ceremony where we profess our love and commitment among some family and friends. Of course this will not be legal and only a ceremony in others eyes, but it will mean the world to us.
As to the second question, so what if one never married, its a choice anyway. Anyone family or no, can think what they wish, wouldn't have been any skin of my nose.

If we could not be married. We sould still find a way to be together. And no I would not be ashamed to be an "Old Maid."

~Thanks for sharing.
A ten I leave you~ To help you reach your Gather goal.

That would be so sad but I would have to move on.

I've learned in my wise old years....lol
that there are many kinds of love...puppy love, unrequitted love, selfish love, abusive love, jealous love, heavenly love, soulmate love, brother and sister type love.....
Some people are in love with being in love!
If I couldn't marry the one I love, perhaps because it was unrequitted love, then I would hope that I fell in love again someday.
I'm an old maid.....never been married. Most of my friends have been married 2 and 3 times....those that are still alive anyways.
I love my life. Not all of us are 'cut out' of the same cloth wanting the family and all that that entails.
I'm not selfish, just a realist....I haven't ever met the right one yet and yes I have been in love a few times.

if for some reason i couldn't have married my hubby, i'd still be with him anyway, as far as the old maid thing, who cares! nobody's business but my own!

If I can't be with my 'one true love'....it must be for legal reasons 'cause almost nothing else, short of drug/alcohol addiction or being incarcerated would keep me away....

I'm with MJ on the 'after I'm dead' question. I've run into that one before, living in the Deep South where guilt is the shape of the buckle on the Bible Belt. Done with it; if my body's dead, my heart and mind are too and my soul is going to be busy singing and playing all sorts of musical instruments. If one of my descendants wants to 'take a position' on my marital status or lack thereof, I hope it's a comfortable one since they will have to live with it.

tee hee!

I say to each their own...If a person never married...its not my buisness.

It's sad when you can't marry the one you Love.Mine went to Vietnam and never returned.I had to move on.Not because I was scared of being an old maid.but just because Life happens and to give up enjoying it would be so wrong.I don't think I could have ever found anything more fulfilling for me than to be a mother.
Everyone is different and so there is no real answer to this question.
As far as what family would think of me I really don't care.I only care that I am true to myself.They can think whatever they want.

If I couldn't marry the love of my life, I would move in with him! Luckily, I didn't have to do that because I did marry him and we've been married for 34 yrs! Married him twice, too!!!

As for the second question, I could care less what other people think about me. What's more important is what I think of myself!

I think that a lot of people can be very happy and fulfilled without being married, even if they can't marry someone they love. And I think if they can't marry someone they love, they may well find someone else to love along the way. BUT I think that if both of the people love each other and want to marry, then there should not be a reason that they cannot do so.

I have never married, and I'm perfectly happy about it.

Marital status doesn't define either love or legitimacy. The legal benefits have merit, but it is the relationship that is special. As to family histories -- who cares.

i do not want to marry the one i love but i do want to spend more time with him.....i do not want to be married period....were i to have been an old maid??? who cares....

Trying to get caught up. Have a great night!

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Nothing wrong with being single lower costs.

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Our attitudes are already so relaxed about marriage that, as far as genealogy goes, going down into our descendents' times it could well not matter at all or even be considered archaic then. Who knows.  I wouldn't let it concern me.

I find your question "What if you could never marry" interesting.  I think the WHY of we couldn't marry would affect my feelings about it.  Lots of variables there.