The Way I Look At It . . . A teeny tiny story :) Enemy 3 1/2

Glome...I guess over the years I have learned to forgive regardless if the person that has wrong me has acknowledged their wrong doing. I foung that they either don't care, don't know or just don't have the courage to ask for forgiveness. It is not their forgiveness that I have to worry about...it is holding bitterness and unforgiveness in my heart that will keep me from Heaven and I just don't want to have to be in judgement of them. I can forgive anything...even my ex being unfaithful to me. I just don't forget and won't let it happen again. That is my beliefs for whatever they are worth. Thank you, I really enjoy your postings.

should be found...

let's pray for the mercy side

I remember reading where Corrie Ten Boom was speaking one day about the Lord and one of the guards who had beaten her sister (from the concentration camp where her sister had died) came walking up with an outstretched hand.
She told the Lord, "Lord I can't do this" But God gave her what it took to reach out and let that person shake her hand. When she did, all of her hatred seemed to melt away.
It does take quite an effort on our part, but God meets us and helps us the rest of the way.
Good article!

Robin, Can you tell us the story? Would you rather handle it through Email?

Robin, there is a way of escape for you. God has promised that. He wants you free.
My bitterness was not holy :) Believe me it was plain old bitterness. They didn't deserve forgiveness and I had none to give.
Until God . . .

Think about it. I'm praying. We invite anyone else to pray for Robin also.
You have been brave to come back over and over again Robin.

That was very insightful. I also have a few in my past for whom it is... present tene... difficult to forgive. One in particular was very recent and changed my life significantly. I've managed to get past it, but his influence is still felt in my life. I do not think we are to forget. We must learn and go on. We need to somehow get past hatred and bitterness.

It must have been so much harder for Jonah than we could ever really imagine. I never thought of his "bitterness swallowing him up" in the form of a whale! What exellent imagery that is.

On a side note about Jonah, I always wondered what the deal was with him while he was sitting waiting for God to destroy Nineva while sitting underneath a pleasant vine. The Bible describes how Jonah is pleased with the vine, and then God dries the vine up, and Jonah was unhappy again. I don't know what it is with that, but for some reason, that always made me laugh right out loud, just thinking of him muttering to himself that he couldn't even have a decent vine to sit under so he could keep himself shaded and cool. Maybe it made me think of some people ~ maybe MYSELF!!

Any thoughts on why the biblical detail of Jonah and his vine???

Karen F,
"t is not their forgiveness that I have to worry about...it is holding bitterness and unforgiveness in my heart that will keep me from Heaven and I just don't want to have to be in judgement of them."

I'm sorry, I don't quite understand.
Are you saying you are afraid bitterness or 'not forgetting' will keep you out of heaven?
Is your 'not forgetting' partly bitterness?
Or are you worried about THEM not forgiving you?

That's a lot of years to have to carry any of it. If there is no bitterness attached to memories they usually kind of fade. You can pull up the details ... but it's kind of like telling a story. It doesn't pull up resentment.

I want to get it right :)

Me too Marsha :) I'm sure this will be a all/nothing vote :)

Bethany, What a wonderful story

From years of experience of doing something good to my enemy, I know God is faithful to give immediate relief. If it is an ongoing situation you may have to do it over and over. Which I did. But if it's in the past, should be gotten over pretty quickly I believe.

Hi Ian. You're right as far as not forgetting the lessons we learned. But I would hate for you to have to carry the bitterness. Of course, maybe you just didn't like it but don't really have feelings about it. You're the one that know :):)
But if you have FEELINGS you can't get rid of, it takes an ACTION to wipe them out.
Hmmmm Ian ... that one sentencs says everything I've been trying to say in these last 5 or 6 articles :)

I can't believe it Nancy. I think that is the strangest thing in the Bible!! It is so funny that you feel the same. :)

I'm sure the idea is; the vine wasn't Jonah's; he didn't have anything to do with making it grow; he simply liked it because of the pleasure it gave him; and yet was in pain to lose it.
God, on the other hand, hand created each Ninivite; nourished them; guided them; loved them. And couldn't Johna see what deep feelings God would have at their loss?

But ... it just didn't seem to quite fit the picture to me and it made me laugh :):)

Paying it Forward!

Wow Palmer. What a cool icon and a cool saying! I just don't understand it.
Say it again. :):)

That is neat... I really like it.

When I can't forgive, I remember one who prayed "Father forgive."

Thanks Beth. It's certainly shorter than most of my stuff has been lately.
A nutshell lesson is more fun to learn :)
Thank you for coming by.

You're right Shiela, that says it all.
Thanks for coming by and commenting.

thanks for sharing,,,

Glome, this is one of my favorite stories. I like the way you retold it. I agree with Karen. I don't want to be held responsible for harboring ill feelings towards someone that can't or won't ask for it. I have been hurt deeply too and during those times that I don't have the desire to forgive I have to ask God to do it for me and give me the willingness to show mercy also. I have gotten so wrapped up in my hurts that I just wouldn't allow myself to grab hold of that mercy feeling that it took to forgive. I'm glad that I've lived long enough for time to heal my pain, because now I can forgive and have mercy on them for their ignorance. God can change anyone's heart - even the ones that have been hurt. You just have to ask.

Now, I'm going through another difficult time in my life and being falsely accused of things and even though it's hurtful I'm old enough now to realize God and I are tougher than that and I'll get through it with Him.

Great article, Glome.

I have had two separate situations in my life that required me to do something to address my anger towards another person.

One I eventually forgave because I decided the energy I spent being angry was hurting me and I felt I had already been hurt enough by this person. it was a relief to forgive them and move past the anger.

The second person I did not forgive and we no longer have a relationship. I do not harbor hateful feelings towards them- I just don't want them in my life anymore.

You're welcome Steph in nee :) Thanks for coming by.

Thanks Elise ... you've had lots of experience in your life for forgiving :) I will say I haven't had a lot of serious ones. A speeding car hit my daughter and left her with brain damage. But that wasn't hard. As I looked at her lying in bed unconscious; dying; (they told us she would die within a couple of days. Lethal blow) she was the only thing that mattered. I didn't even have room in my brain to think some stranger had anything to do with it. My husband and I sat in the ICU waiting room and knew we were sitting at the feet of God. Him and us. That's all there was. He was SO gracious. The first day we left the hospital I felt sorry for the girl that hit her. She was a teen ager. What if my daughter had been driving a car that killed someone? I would die a thousand deaths for her. Yes, God gave us great pity for the girl. She was in high school. We called the pricipal and asked him to tell her we knew it was an accident and that she didn't mean to hurt anyone. Please tell her we only had love for her. That lifted our sorrow somewhat.
But it was just never a problem. Nothing negative took root in my heart.

We gave Nancy to God ... and He gave her back. Shocked us. After a full week of waiting every day for her to die; the doctors came and said they didn't know what had happened; there had been no (or not much) activity above the brain stem. Her brain was normal that morning when they came in. They had no idea what to expect, except it seemed that she would live.
My Divorce and something I found out right before him leaving were my over riding problems of bitterness. I'll share the 2nd one shortly.

Sounds like you got through it in good shape Nancy.

You know, I haven't brought up the fact that many times there does need to be confrontation first. Truth needs to be spoken usually. But by the time bitterness takes root ... usually the truth (as each saw it :) has been spoken over and over and there is nothing left to do but forgive.

Don't you wander ... what does the person feel like that did the unfair or cruel act? Maybe I need to do an article about those that have regrets in their lives over things they've done in their past. How to handle it now.

I'm impressed how many have had bitterness and handled it. The majority seem to have gotten on top. But there are a handful, both in the comments and off line emails that would like to get rid of their bitterness. I really am praying that before we're through God will open the way for them to learn to love their enemy.

Thanks for all your thoughts.

That bit about the vine -- I always interpreted it as one more way that God said, look, I'm taking care of you... but I know you don't see it or appreciate it as the blessing it is but rather take it for granted, so POOF too late buddy you had your chance. Or, in fewer words, the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away.

Now of course in my head all I can see is the humorous VeggieTales version of this, with the asparagus Jonah sweltering in the sun... :-)

I believe the Bible says you will be judged, you will be forgiven, in the
same way you judge and forgive others. Who among us hasn't screwed
up a few times? So how can I/We ask God to forgive us unless we forgive
our brothers/sisters from our heart.

Yaaaa Tracy ... & hahaha. That's a perfectly coherent interpretation and I never thought of it. I hope Nancy comes back to read. I'll ping her.

You're right. It does sound like a good veggie tale. You should go to their site and make the suggestion.

Jonah just sounded like a 3 or 4 yr old kid pouting :)

Marsha ... AS IT SHOULD BE :):) God said when we come together we each have our gift to add and thereby we all grow.
I hope people do read the comments ... there are a large amount of Christians here on Gather. And lots of Biblical knowledge. I haven't gone to church in the last 2 or 3 years because of Mom. As soon as I get a little stronger I'm beginning to go again. Mom is now in a nursing home one block away. 24 hr care about blew out my adrenalin glands until I could even stand up. I'm much better now but it will be another month or so before I can count on being steady.

Robert, ha ha. You're right! Out of pure selfishnes we should forgive :):)

Not only do we get forgivness, but we get joy and a light heart. AND ... we know we are pleaseing God. It is certainly a win=win situation :)

Thanks for coming by and adding to the lesson.

Spicecomments.com - Merry Christmas Comments



You do have a way with words my Glome,,, I'll leave that decision up to you,,, you have more strength,,, Bless you always,,,

Glome, I always enjoy reading your pieces, a bit behind, but I am so glad your daughter survived, mine did not, same kind of injury, no one to be bitter at, no foregiveness needed either, blamed myself for not going and getting her that day to go shopping instead of her coming to get me, but then, she wanted to do it, so the accident happened, and I gave up blaming myself, it was stupid and hurting me. And God left her to us in a coma for 2 1/2 years, I don't know why, but I had hope all that time, and then we lost her anyway, I can't blame anyone for that. and I am not bitter, but I do miss her very much because not only was she my daughter but my very best friend. We talk.

Leave what up to me Marie ... whether I want His Judgment or His blessing. Ha ha. You know what I would take :)

Good for you Dawn. It can cripple some people. I hope your Mom is doing well tonight also. You are blessed to have her, but she is super blessed to have you :)

Thanks for coming by ... twice :):)

Elsie, I'm so sorry. I've so often wondered what and how people survived those long comas. My Nancy was only in one about a month. Then she slowly came out of it. She then improved rapidly for a while then the slow transition over the years to what she would become. Different but wonderful and capable of living in this world with a little help. She has four sons. Her spouse did leave her but I understood. He had been a little different when they got married. He improved and came out of it; she did not completely.

I can't imagine waiting over two years with hope and then have them dashed.
I was coming back to search your sight. I'm embarrassed to say it, but somehow, in all our confusion here at home, I didn't. This time I will.

Thank you so much for coming. Elsie, I have my children pick me up often when we're going places. Now my grandchildren are out there. You have to just trust God. I know you do and you did ... but it wasn't you that allowed that to happen; He did. And if He did, we both know that in eternity, you will say, "Oh, I see now Lord." Can you believe He loves you more than you love her. That always encourages me.
You have gone through all this; you already know anything I could say ... but maybe someone else will come along and read our comments. God bless the words to thier ears.

I have forgiven all those in my life who have wronged me prior to 2001. I created a web page and directed all to it with an email and a link. Then I sent letters to both my exes, who do not have computers, (but I don't know about one). Anyhow, I deliberated for three months or so before I forgave my brother, agonized should be the word, but I finally wrote him, and said that I forgave him, could he forgive me? To which he replied that I had not done anything to forgive. Anyway, it didn't take confrontation, if I had to do that, I would have to travel the world. But I did do it, but now I am faced with another thing, and I just don't need to pursue it right now, but it is in the hands of God.

Claudia, I've started to add people name to a little tablet for one day only. I put your name on todays list. Tomorrow I will tear off the page and leave it with God and let Him lie others on my heart. I feel relieved doing this.
I hear what all you've been through (not details but enought to know you've had to deal with forgiveness. You make me laugh. I can't imagine what was on that site you sent people to. Good or bad. :):) Somehow it just tickled me. You have a very unique mind. I would never have thought about doing that.

Anyway I love it that you shared that.

I'm praying that God really intervene and show you a way of escape from this latest situation. It is great that you have already put it in His hands. Sometimes that's all you can do. There are no practical steps that He has made available to us.

Let us know if He reconciles this situation ... if you feel like sharing.

I don't have anything constructive to add, but I am leaving you a 10.

God's mercy is warmed when we truly are Christ-like.

Thanks Shelbia. I know what you mean. God kind of said it all in that story :):)

Thanks again William. He got a little warm with Jonah when he didn't :):) haha.

But you're right.

Failing Buddhist . . . :( ? Maybe just now far advanced yet. I do know those beliefs are very different. From what I've read, I see why you say the question has no relevance.

Thanks for coming by anyway Selene.

god mersy is warmed when we truly are christ like

Catching up on emails - Merry Christmas!!

Thanks for coming Tyler. I agree with you. I would have hated to be Jonah. What a terrible thing to have to forgive.
I'll come visit your site. :)

Thanks Andrea. It's a job keeping caught up. I can sympathize :)

Jonah's problem was that God didn't do what he though he should have done. His prejudice overrode his compassion and his sense of justice. Mercy should not have been granted to those that were not of the "chosen nation". Jesus' love for all people who comes to Him is very present in this passage of scripture.

I think when we hold onto bitterness and resentment towards another person it eats us up inside. I want and need God's mercy so I pray for the wisdom to grant it to others when needed.

It is Janet. But I'll bet I'd be more like Jonah :):) It makes me feel happy that God forced him to do His will. I would hate it if He let us have our way.
Thank you so much for reading these lessons. I love seeing your little chubby cheek baby as I look down the line of icons :)

Yaaaaa Danielle. I just told Janet ... I'm glad I wasn't Jonah. If he saw all the horrible killing of Moms and children it must have been very hard. How did people live in those days? Humanism will not get you to heaven ... but it does make a nicer society to live in than the old hierarchies.

topping by from

Always mercy, and I'm thankful for it.

-Points nation

Thank you for coming by Dorothy.

Amber, I know what you mean ... Mercy is what makes life possible :)
Thank you for commenting.

I cringe when I hear people ask for justice. I don't think many of us could handle it. Give me mercy, lots and lots of mercy.

dropping by from Points Nation

You're right Elizabeth ... anyone that knows God's word asks for mercy and not justice :)

This is another good one!

Thanks for sharing!

I’m just stopping by to share some