How do you do time outs with your 3 year old/toddler?

duck tape... lol havent had a toddler in quite a few years... time outs didnt work... needless to say I have 2 spoiled teenagers.. best of luck with this, I was such a wimp when it came to getting tough on them.

A good rule of thumb is 1 minute per year old. To much longer and they have reached their limit of patience. If having him sit still is a problem, you could put him in his high chair (provided he still fits, and you still have it.

Explain what he did that was wrong, why it was wrong, and that being put in time out is your way of helping show him that it was wrong. You could also set a timer, so that he knows when his time is up.

if my 2 year old has her moments, i will sit her in the corner, tell her why i am putting her in the corner, then i wait usually about 3 minutes, then i ask her to apologize, explain her again, what she has done wrong, and why she was put in the corner, and then i let her come out.

I have used a portable bed/playpen and also a gated-off back hallway. No more than five minutes (enough for you to feel calm again!). I have also heard the rule, one minute for each year. I always told the child the behavior I objected to and what I expected from them, as simply as possible.

My kids are teens and a twenty-something. The time-outs worked well, and though they haven't been perfect, they learned how to behave themselves without spanking.

I spanked. It works. Don't kill 'em, just spank 'em. It's all the tone of the voice not the smack of the hand on the backside. Times are different now, I don't know if people spank anymore, but it worked for me and I raised four kiddos.

We do one minute for every year of their age (ie: 3 minutes for a 3 year old). We have a designated time out chair. We put them in the chair...if they get out, you put them back in without saying anything, except maybe "you are in timeout". When they finish their time, we explain to them what they did wrong and have them apologize. These have worked well for us. We would never resort to hitting our children...you really don't have to hit kids to teach them to respect other people.

Depending on the crime, my two year old either gets a time out for 2 minutes in his room or a light spanking on a padded diaper butt.

Here you can go to jail if you spank your kids. Time out start over every time they get up when they are sit down.

Timeouts generally just make the fit grow at my house. What works for me is to talk to him in a really soft voice and tell him what he did wrong. He's usually apologizing before I even finish what I'm saying. He has to stop the fit so he can hear me. I do stick him in a time out every once in a while, but it's not worth it to me. My husband tries to make it work for him, though. He gets irritated enough at Elliott that he can't use the soft voice.

I also go by the 1 minute per years of age theory. They don't really understand sitting in one spot for three minutes at that age. We would firmly but gently hold our children for 3 minutes, explaining that they had to sit there because they did something bad, and now they have to be in time out. You may have to hold their arms or legs so they don't kick or punch, they will get very upset and very anxious, but just keep explaining that they are in time out because they did so and so, and hold them for that 3 minutes.

After you do this a couple of times the mere threat of the time out should work.

By the time they are 4 they should understand what a time out is and can sit by their selves without being held for 4 minutes, but at three they usually don't understand the concept, that is why we always sat in time out with them holding them. It is difficult not to hug them while doing this as well, but refrain from that don't send mixed signals, they need to understand that this is a punishment, even though you are doing nothing more than holding them. The mere fact that they can't get up and do what they want will be very frustrating to them and they will not like it. This usually gets the desired affect, and after you do this a couple of times and show you mean business they will usually think twice about continuing to act up after you threaten time out, and they only get one warning, if they don't shape up they go in time out. Don't constantly threaten and not follow through. They have to know you mean what you say.

If they act up in public you may have to actually walk out of places. When my 2 older kids were younger we were going out for lunch at a restaurant, they were looking forward to going. But they were acting very bad, so I told them if they did not knock it off we were going to leave, they continued to act up and I told them we were leaving, then I got up and walked toward the door, they of course followed me but if they had not I would have picked them up and carried them out. They were screaming and crying and upset because they wanted to stay, but I loaded them both in the car screaming and crying, all the way home. The next time they acted up in public I would say, "Do you want to leave right now?" And like magic they would become little angels.

I find once you let them know you mean business and you back up your threats, they will learn what they can not get away with. Sometimes it is really hard, but you have to be consistent and you have to be firm.

I always heard the twos were terrible until I had a three year old little boy. I think the "rule" is a minute for every year like stated by other people 3 minutes for a three year old. I had to come up with alternatives and mix it up. My son would throw tantrums and I would tell him that he could go into his room and throw the tantrum, then come out when he is ready to settle down. I also found that when he was tired, hungry, frustrated etc. his behavior was worse. I think 3 is the age they start to assert more independence.

After the time out you can let them go and ask if they understood why they were in time out, if not explain it to them, and ask them to apologize, and verbalize what they did wrong, and then give them a hug and a kiss. They also must realize that it was what they did that made mommy or daddy angry, and that mommy and daddy still love them.

three minutes away from everything,,
love the duck tape note there,, my girlfriend did that on my son after he pushed her buttons on a saturday afternoon,, I came home and just laugh,,

so true rae

Thank you for all the advice. Im going to try this all out tomorrow, well the time out for 3 minutes thing. My problem with him is he usually just gets up out of time out. I' m going to try and find a chair to use for time outs only, either that or hold him for the 3 minutes. I cant wait till hes over this phase, lol.

Anne has a point too, if you notice your child is getting really antsy or aggressive, or even angry it could be that they are getting hungery, or that they need to calm down and rest. When I did home day care I had a little girl who would get aggresive and angry around 2:00 PM, so I would usually give the kids a little snack aroudn 1:45, and then they had to lay down for 20 minutes. They did not have to sleep if they did not want to and they could even watch TV, but they had to just lay down and rest. Sometimes they would fall asleep most of the time they wouldn't but I found that after I started doing this she no longer had her little 2:00 melt down.

i forgot what it like when they are that little

I echo what Anne Marie said. Being tuned into the child and why they're acting out helped me figure out what I would do in response. My nephew was very different than my daughter, and my son completely different from either.

With my daughter, she would get overstimulated and tantrum - at that point all that was going to work was getting her away from the overstimulation and give her a chance to calm down. I had a spot designated for that, a reading corner in the living room with her favorite stuffed animals and blanket - she needed to stay there until she had calmed but when she felt like looking at a book or playing quietly there that was fine. It was all about teaching her to recognize her own limits and learn to calm herself.

I tried the more traditional version of Time Out before that, but, like Carla, saw it just make the fit worse.

A couple of resources that have helped me a lot are this friend's website and the book Raising Your Spirited Child. Not everything in there applied to my daughter, but some of the tools and attitudes in there saved my sanity as a parent when my daughter was in her threes.

I would just turn the tv or music off. Don't move, don't go to your room, you're not going to watch or hear what you want until the b.s. stops. Once I did duct tape my kids together for an afternoon when they were about 4 and 5. They were usually well behaved and could be reasoned with.

My daughter is 27months.
When she is bad she knows she goes to her corner for a minute. I don't time it or anything, she just stands in her corner for about a minute or so then gets to come out

I'm sorry but a pop on the but never hurt anyone.If time out does not work or they yell and get loud just tune them out.
I have never beat the children that are noe 38,34,36 and I have 9 grandchildren.Some times you may need to use a rough voice and say this is the way I feel when you are bad and never use the rough voice when they are good.
I know that this works,as my children have told the grandchildren as long as she talks loud you are ok!If you need to really listen to hear her look out.The grands are from 2 to 19 and I have no trouble out of them.

If it were me, I would start him on yoga and/or meditation as part of his daily ritual. Yes, I know that it is unusual, but I believe that it would have a calming effect and would decrease the need for punishment. Then, again, I don't have any kids, so that is easy for me to say.

Haven't had a toddler in years..now I am down to one teenager at home...but I never did the timeouts..never worked

Catching up on emails - Merry Christmas!

Good advice here! We would also start the time out over if the kid got up. Another thing is to STAY CALM because if you get upset and yell (tantrum) It makes the kid more upset and they copy what they see. MUCH harder to calm them down after.

Be loving but firm
and always reassure them that you love them but you did not like their behavior!

I hope you get some great advise.

HELPING HANDS!!!

I love that the advice is so good about short periods. It doesn't take long to get the point across. 10-15 minutes is just too long for a 3 year old. The purpose is to get his attention and teach him there are consequences for his actions.
If he's acting out, constantly interrupting him should work. If not, add a min or two. Five minutes should be a long time for him.

My 3 year old has to put his nose on a wall for a min or two and then I make him apologize ands explain why he got in trouble.. works pretty well for now

1 minute per age...so in this case 3 minutes. I sit our 2 year old in the timeout chair. If he gets out, I put him back there. I explain what he did wrong and after time out is served, he must apologize to whoever. (ie: if he hit, then he must apologize to who he hit)