This is an edited version of a piece that first appeared in 2006. For some reason, it raised both eyebrows and hackles. Go figure!
Anyone who knows me is aware of my stance on organized religion. Eleven-twelfths of the year, I stand by my convictions and refuse to take part in any faith-based activities, preferring instead to beat the post-theism drum.
However, there’s something about the Christmas season that incites a certain religious fervor in my loins (I think that’s what that funny feeling is). Starting around December first, I become very, very Jewish. I dye my hair menopause red and have it done weekly; I ostentatiously pile matzos and gefilte fish in my shopping basket and play endless games of canasta online. I polish up my little Star of David necklace for its annual appearance. Every time my son telephones, I berate him for not calling me more often. I use words like “chutzpah” and “maven” a lot. I go to the Hallmark Store and exclaim loudly over the adorable menorahs and dreidels with many hand gestures that display my enormous diamonoid rings, while conspicuously pawing my (borrowed) mink stole. I never buy anything, but I do pretend to shop for Semitically-correct objects, just to make known my Christmas-free preferences.
The peaceful result of this disregard of National Retail Madness Month is a delightfully quiet, uncluttered day of no mail, closed stores and lousy television, interrupted only by the screaming fire engines and ambulances busily rescuing fallen victims of the season.
When this was first published, two years ago, there was a national debate raging on the use of "Merry Christmas" vs. "Happy Holidays" at retail stores. From what I observe this year, the ''Holiday" activists seems to have won the battle, although there seems still to be a certain seething anger among the rabid rightwing contingent. Thankfully, they're not quite as vocal about this issue anymore...I'm surmising they're too busy dreaming up reasons to keep Inauguration Day at bay.
Au fin, my seasonal wish for you all is to stay warm, stay out of crowds, stay home, and stop wasting energy...do you know how much those lights are burning up?
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Comments: 37
I loved Christmas trees. Many aspects of the holiday were downright horrible -- the mere act of getting out the Christmas lights would initiate a battle that left everyone in the house refusing or afraid to speak aloud -- but yet, once we got the lights arranged and ornaments placed, a peace settled over that room. By nightfall, we'd have the room lit only by the tree lights, and I was content to sit and admire how beautiful it looked. I didn't need gifts, I just loved the way we could create such a beautiful display every year.
I particularly enjoyed the years when we had an irregularly shaped tree. After grousing about uneven branches or twisted trunks, somehow we all found a way to incorporate the shape into the decorations. There was a metaphor in there.
We haven't had a tree in years, but I still love them, and I love seeing all the colors appear in the community -- foo on those who go for the white-only bit. I want variety.
All the extra stuff is someone else's problem. I'm happy at home.
Nothing says Christmas like a hot mannequin, if you ask me.
I'm just a fan of the way the community all seems to join in with a little extra color, a little bit of cheer, to get us through these short, cold days of winter. And I miss my Christmas tree.
On our trip down the Danube, we saw quite a lot
of interesting things, but boy was it hot!
We boiled in Budapest, baked in Belgrade,
got broiled in Bucharest searching for shade.
We saw lots of churches, cathedrals and spires,
heard concerts by orchestras, organs and choirs.
Hungarians use lots of paprika in cooking.
The Serbs pour Vegeta without even looking.
Bulgarian tomatoes are really fantastic.
The ones we get here taste more like plastic.
The riverbanks always had something to see.
The bus trips ashore were cool (thanks to A/C).
Although we have grown in the waist and the hips,
we think we'll take more of these riverboat trips.
That's a typical "holiday season" card from us.
Bert, my Hungarian grandmother also poured Vegeta with abandon in every soup she cooked. :-)
I have timers on the outside lights, and limit them to about four hours duration. I agree that the lights are a terrible waste of energy, but ours have very small bulbs. The whole thing only uses a couple hundred watts. Still...
Love it!
Christmas smells
Chanukkah is best...
I think it's a fine idea to go to the Hallmark Store and make a fuss over the Chanukkah stuff. :)
From what I remember from Religious School--it was on Sunday but at the synagogue--Chanukkah was a minor holiday till Reform Jews got hold of it and built it up as a competitor for the X. My dad said he got pennies for Chanukkah, the famous "Chanukkah gelt."
When I was growing up we had a tree for a few years. My mom, raised Protestant, took a while to dump the Christmas traditions and was uneasy about going too public with my dad's Judaism.
For heavens sake. Far be it from to deny anyone their bliss.
Now, THAT deserves a holiday. Wonderful piece, Dame.
(I suspected this was written at an earlier date...perhaps when my vision could decode 8-pt font?)
I like the kindnesses displayed during this time of year and truly wonder why it isn't displayed more during the other 11 months of the yeawr. But then I remember to really look at the random acts of kindness I see around me and the RAKs I commit myself. Maybe the spirit of the season lives in the other 11 months and we just set the lights blazing in Dec.
Hope springs eternal that mankind will slip on their collective big boy/girl pants and make the leap into a new age of reason. Maybe I'll be here in a new life and be able to celebrate that day. Look for me under the big clock on Times Square. I'll be having a party.
Sharon is a meanie /smiles
My wife and I have a Christmas tree, though she considers it a bit of a Solstice tree more than anything else. In North Korea, Christians really are persecuted because that poor country is run by a nut who considers himself a "God-King."
I consider the arguments about Christmas trees, etc. in the USA as "Drama Queen" activities. I would make the top angel on our Christmas tree a "Drama Queen," playing a violin.