by .* Sandi *
Member since:
August 2, 2006

A lot of you might get tired of me saying over and over not to take your family and friends for granted in my posts and some times remarks.

December 04, 2008 04:18 PM EST (Updated: December 04, 2008 09:08 PM EST)
views: 418 | comments: 186

A lot of you might get tired of me saying over and over not to take your family and friends for granted in my posts and some times remarks.
Your tomorrows are not promised. You just never know when you wont have another chance to say I love you, I care, I'm sorry, or even HI, I am thinking of you.
You might never have a chance to hug them or anything.
14 years ago, today, Dec. 4th, my husband, kissed me good bye, took the 3 boys out to cut a Christmas tree down. A fun time for all. A happy family trip, I stayed home, making a nice supper for when they returned. My sister went with them, I am so grateful she did. While they were waiting to pay for the tree, My husband, my soul mate, my best friend collapsed and died.
It was unexpected, he just turned 39, we thought we had tomorrow!!!! 
  My life changed right then and there, My friend used to say when her son died, that even the clock didn't stop. I never understood that till my husband died.
 On the way there I saw hundreds of  trees on car roofs going to their home, having fun and here I was in shock, numb. What a contrast. No, not one clock stopped when he died , My world stopped, now I understood how she felt.
I am grateful my last words to him were I love you. But I wish I was with him.
He was a wonderful father, and husband, he worked nights so he could be home during the day with the boys. He wanted to be a part of their lives.  
When it happen  Jeff was 13, Jess just 4 and Jace just 1. They saw it happen.
As I said Thank God, my sister was there to help them and watch them. The hospital stuck them all alone in a room. No one checked up on them at all. The boys weren't alone.  
He died on Dec. 4th and we buried him on Dec, 8th which would have been our 5th anniversary.  
So this week is emotional still for me.   Go hug your family and friends and kids and tell people you care!

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Comments: 186 ( 1 removed by .* Sandi * )

mary bryant Dec 4, 2008, 4:21pm EST
ohhhhhhhhhh I am so sorry. Hugssss to you.
Jennifer W. Dec 4, 2008, 4:23pm EST
I am so sorry so your lose. I totally understand. Just last week myhairdresser and her 7 year old daughter were killed in a car accident. The mother died at one hospital and then the daughter died 6 hours at another hospital. You just never know when it is your time.
Netty B. Dec 4, 2008, 4:27pm EST
Oh sandi! I did NOT know this, you are a strong soul.


<font size="2">Glitter Graphics & Comments</font>
Jenn P. Dec 4, 2008, 4:30pm EST
I'm so sorry Sandi! That mustve been hard. ***HUGS***
Ang, wandering aimlessly, G. Dec 4, 2008, 4:30pm EST
I'm so sorry Sandi. Hugs!
Lisa B. Dec 4, 2008, 4:34pm EST
I am so sorry Sandi.
Candy S. Dec 4, 2008, 4:36pm EST
Sandi that is so sad. I am so sorry. Today being my anniversary it really hits hard for me. When my husband left this morning I was busy getting my son ready for school and just said in a hurry "love ya" I didn't even turn to look at him. Thank you for sharing.
Elle L. Dec 4, 2008, 4:38pm EST
oh. I am so sorry.
Cindy A. Dec 4, 2008, 4:54pm EST
((((((((((((sandi))))))))))))) i am telling you I care...
tammie p. Dec 4, 2008, 4:59pm EST
sandi , i am so sorry for your loss. i did not know any of that. my dad died on christmas day right in front of me. he was 39.what did i do that morning? i walk by him to get my presents and take them upstairs. no good morning , merry christmas or even hi. your posts hits home more than you could ever realize. so please everyone listen to her as she does know.
sally g. Dec 4, 2008, 5:14pm EST
I am very sorry for what you are going through. Big hugs.
Alta B. Dec 4, 2008, 5:29pm EST
Oh my! You are so right that none of us are promised tomorrow, much less the next minute. My dad died on December 17th. He collapased and was never revived. I have you in my prayers.
Elizabeth S. Dec 4, 2008, 5:45pm EST
Oh, Sandi, that's so terrible. Even a friend dying that young is a shock, but to lose your husband like that would definitely change your world. What a loss for you all.

I think we forget how many people have sad stories around Christmas time. My niece lost a 4 day old baby on Dec 16, my father died on Christmas Eve, and there are thousands just like us. While it may make Jesus' sacrifice for us seem more real, it makes for some bittersweet Christmas memories.
Denise W. Dec 4, 2008, 5:54pm EST
With the loss of our baby Emily we understand what you mean by a clock does not stop. It is really true you do not know what tomorrow will bring.
Murray is watching over you and the boys and he is proud of the fine young men you and Denise have raised.
♥♥LoViNg♥LiFe♥ ♥♥ Dec 4, 2008, 5:56pm EST
THANK YOU FOR BEING AWESOME!
*****PIF*****
Senetria Gibson Dec 4, 2008, 6:01pm EST
oh I will make sure to do that
Sandi, so sorry for your loss. I am thinking of you and your family-thanks for sharing such a heart felt story with us.
rainne chandler Dec 4, 2008, 6:34pm EST
i am so sorry for your loss and your childerns god bless all of you
Elaine S. Dec 4, 2008, 6:38pm EST
I am so sorry Sandi
Many Hugs
Sandy (back in Ohio...blah!) Dec 4, 2008, 7:04pm EST
Sandi,
I am so sorry you lost your husband. I do cherish my kids and tell them I love them. Thank you for the gentle reminder that tomorrow could be out last time with them.
Kelly Kay Dec 4, 2008, 7:07pm EST
This is such a sad story. I am so sorry and thank you for sharing this very personal story!

Each day the last thing I say to my loved ones is "I love you" whether I am angry at them or not.
Bob B. Dec 4, 2008, 7:09pm EST
I'm so sorry, Sandi.
Heather ~of the Whippets~ M. Dec 4, 2008, 7:10pm EST
No, the clock doesn't stop. No matter how much pain or grief one person may be in, the world keeps right on going. I've been in that place before, and I know that it feels almost surreal as normal life continues on all around except for that pocket in which you exist.
Audrey F. Dec 4, 2008, 7:25pm EST
Sandi, Your story greatly saddened me. I am so sorry you lost your husband. It is always very important to me to hug others when we are parting. Some understand it, some don't. I try to respect the needs of those that are standoffish, but usually I just grab them and hug them anyway. We never know when loss is going to come along and take someone away from us. All we can do is live and love the best we know how to in this crazy world.
Brenda (square peg in a round hole) H. Dec 4, 2008, 7:58pm EST
I am so sorry Sandi. I am sending a big hug your way.
Joe T. Dec 4, 2008, 9:02pm EST
I am sorry, Sandi. Your story touches me in ways that you will never know. How is everyone in the your family doing, now?
Sandra L. Dec 4, 2008, 9:08pm EST
Sandi, thank you for sharing your story with us so that others will not have to look back and say "if only". That took a lot on your part. I hope your holiday season includes lots of happy memories mingled with the bittersweet ones.
Your words are never wasted, if you can just touch one life, the words aren't wasted. You have reminded me over and over again to value each day for what it's worth. My husband makes me nuts, but it's your constant reminders that do keep me sane and trying to save what we have here.
t w. Dec 4, 2008, 9:57pm EST
OH Gosh Sandi, I am so sorry, I would give you a big hug if I were near you. I am here if you need someone! HUGS
Sandra H. Dec 4, 2008, 10:05pm EST
Oh Sandi, I am so sorry for your loss. It must have been difficult to write about this but please know how much this has to be impacting others....making them think about the fact that "tomorrow is not promised". I really appreciate your sharing such a personal story......Hugs and prayers for you and your children.
Pamela K. Dec 4, 2008, 10:22pm EST
I am so sorry Sandi, Thank you for sharing with us
Charlie B. Dec 4, 2008, 11:47pm EST
Sandi, I totally understand what you are saying. My mother almost passed away last week . She is getting better but the messed up part is after they said my mom would live I got a phone call from my aunt telling me my grandmother had passed away. It has been an emotional couple of weeks for me also. I am sorry for your loss.
April H. Dec 5, 2008, 11:45am EST
My heart aches for you my dear and what words to live by. you have brought tears to my eyes
Elizabeth S. Dec 5, 2008, 4:16pm EST
Last night on "Grey's Anatomy" one of the story lines was a 15 year old telling her 16 year old sister that she hoped she died as her last words. What a terrible burden that must be on anyone, especially a child. I'm so glad you didn't miss saying the last "I love you."
B.B. B. Dec 5, 2008, 7:16pm EST
i am sure your world fell apart, when this happened. i am so sorry, i really dont know what to say
Samantha V. Dec 5, 2008, 7:16pm EST
***HUGS****
Rae M. Dec 5, 2008, 7:17pm EST
Sandi, I am so very sorry. He was so young, and were so young to have lost your husband and for your young children to lose thier father. I am so sorry. Hugs
DiAnA D. Dec 5, 2008, 7:17pm EST
i don't know what to say other than i am so sorry for your loss and i will pray for you and hope each day gets a little easier.. hugs and Merry Christmas
.* Sandi * Dec 5, 2008, 7:23pm EST
Thank you everyone
what can i say but thank you
it means alot to me
and i will be glad when the 8th is over

hugs your family and friends
dont take for them for granted
Nora Davenport Dec 5, 2008, 7:29pm EST
Oh Sandi, I just don't know what to say.....my heart just aches for you........only five years to have him, and sooooo young.......I just cannot begin to imagine. I have lost both of my parents, though, and that is really horrible, as I'm an only child......it hurts so badly to lose loved ones......and no, we should never, ever take life and those we love for granted.....for none of us is promised tomorrow, only the present moments.......I wish I could just give you some big hugs right now.......know that I truly care, and if you want/need to talk any time, I'm always here for you. I am sure that Christmas must be a difficult time for you and the kids. God bless you my friend.
Maggie Y. Dec 5, 2008, 7:43pm EST
Aw I am so sorry! :(
anne ( way 2 crazy of a life ) c. Dec 5, 2008, 8:08pm EST
I am so sorry for your loss, I wish i could just give you a hug... Anne
Renita P. Dec 5, 2008, 8:21pm EST
Wow, Sandi, only 39 years old? Way too young. I'm so sorry for your loss and I can understand it being a tough time for you even still. It is so important not to take our loved ones for granted. But God is faithful and I know He is still taking care of you.
Many Hugs for you!
Linda T. Dec 5, 2008, 11:04pm EST
What a tragedy. He was so young. Your right and thanks for reminding us not to take our loved ones for granted.
jackie c. Dec 5, 2008, 11:08pm EST
im so sorry sandi and you are so right you never know
Cynthia T. Dec 6, 2008, 12:20am EST
Oh Sandi, thats so sad. That story brought tears to my eyes. Its scary how one moment can change our entire lives. You are very strong to deal with that, I don't know what I would do without my husband. If you ever need anything I'm here.
Fran S. Dec 6, 2008, 1:28pm EST
I always knew what you meant by "don't take tomorrow for granted"..... I truly try to live every day as though it were my last, and by that I mean I try not to have regrets about love not expressed and mean words that can't be taken back...... I commiserate with you today when your sad memories are so much on your mind.
Beverly P. Dec 6, 2008, 2:52pm EST
How can we tire of the truth? You're so right in reminding us, even more so now that you know first hand the pain. I'm sorry for your loss my dear friend. My God be in your heart during this time.

Just commenting you back, thanking you for a comment you made on one of my Christmas Questions, question #2! I always pay back the comments!!!!
Penny M. Dec 6, 2008, 5:33pm EST
I am so sorry for your loss..5 years ago I was involved in a bad accident and was in a coma for 2 weeks...I lost that 2 weeks of my life but luckily I lived...My husband also is very thankful...So I truly love you reminding us all to not take a moment for granted!!
Beth G. Dec 7, 2008, 12:32am EST
I am so sorry for your loss Sandi. I hope that both your husband and yourself are in a better place now.
Ladybounty ~. Dec 7, 2008, 5:05pm EST
Oh honey I'm so sorry! I try to remember this each and every day. It's hard sometimes with the family that I have! But I love them all and can't see why they waste so much time fighting and hurting each other. Anyway....even if I'm angry with one of them, I'm mad in a loving way...which isn't always easy. Life is way too short and I try to let all of them know how much I do love them. Your story touched my heart......hugs.....xxx
Debra H. Dec 7, 2008, 8:14pm EST
*Big Hugs* Praying for comfort during these stressful times for you and your kids. GBU Sandi.
Teresa T. Dec 7, 2008, 11:44pm EST
Great post!

Helping you pay it forward!
Teresa T. Dec 7, 2008, 11:45pm EST
So sorry for your loss...
Stephannie H. Dec 8, 2008, 3:40am EST
I'm so sorry. I agree.
Sarah P. Dec 8, 2008, 2:54pm EST
So Sorry that I'm getting to this post so late. I just don't have much time for anything anymore. I'm very sorry that you have a heavy heart and are feeling sad. You are exactly right about tomorrow's not being promised. Too many tragic things happen in life. One day we're here, the next we could be gone. You never recover completely from a loss... it's always in the back of your mind. This is a hard time of year for many families, keep yours close and don't let go! I love you isn't a hard thing to say, I don't know why so many people have such a hard time saying it. It's just showing emotion and telling someone that you really care about how you feel. 3 words, that's all. Say it often, everyday!
Shaunee C. Dec 8, 2008, 7:09pm EST
Bless your heart Sandi I am really sorry that this happened to you and your childern. We never know when God calls us home. You are right it is always good to tell someone that you love them.
Carol B Dec 8, 2008, 10:05pm EST
Sandi, I am crying along with you. I never knew that this happened to you. Was it your sister CC that was with them? You and your sister are the most caring people I have met and my heart goes out to you and your boys. I will say a prayer for all of you. Today must be a very hard day for you all. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Sandi S. Dec 9, 2008, 11:27am EST
HUGS.

A good reminder for us all.
Ginny A. Dec 9, 2008, 1:44pm EST
I am so sorry for all your pain. I agree with your words to tell the people you love how you feel about them. I am always tellling my family "I love you" because you just never know what will happen or when. I hope others reading your story will learn from it. Hug your kids, it will make you smile.
Susan K. Dec 9, 2008, 7:25pm EST
Thank you for the reminder.
Susan K. Dec 9, 2008, 7:25pm EST
I am glad I took the time to 'pay it forward' or I may not have seen this.
Susan K. Dec 9, 2008, 7:25pm EST
You are so right.
Susan K. Dec 9, 2008, 7:26pm EST
I am grateful for your sharing this.
Susan K. Dec 9, 2008, 7:26pm EST
Very sorry for your loss.
Truly.
Deloris Wright Dec 10, 2008, 2:15pm EST
Sandi I am so sorry fore your loss.You are right. We just never know what might happon to upset our lives.I hope you and your boys have a nice Christmas.
Mary M. Dec 10, 2008, 8:24pm EST
God bless you, Sandi. Losing my family is one of my biggest fears.
Carol V. Dec 10, 2008, 11:53pm EST
{{{{{{{{{{Sandi & Family}}}}}}}}}}}

Keep reminding us. Sometimes we get mixed up in the day to day stuff and forget these things.
Christina Cooper Dec 11, 2008, 12:38pm EST
I cannot imagine....
anne ( way 2 crazy of a life ) c. Dec 11, 2008, 2:15pm EST
I can't even begin to image what you are going through (pif)
Melinda ~choosing happiness~ S. Dec 13, 2008, 10:33pm EST
I am so sorry, Sandi. Your words ring so true for me- my dad died last week.
JoAnn C. Dec 14, 2008, 9:39pm EST
I'm so sorry for your loss. You are so right about not taking family and friends for granted.

hugs to you
d2the4 .. Dec 14, 2008, 11:39pm EST
I am sorry to read of your great loss. Your message of not taking those around us for granted is one that we all need to be reminded of.
Alison H. Dec 15, 2008, 2:14am EST
That's very sad and I take your words to heart. There are no guarantees.
Holly K. Dec 15, 2008, 11:13am EST
Sandi, words cannot express how sorry I am. It is true that we should never take our family and friends for granted. We must cherish every minute we have together.
Erika S. Dec 15, 2008, 2:24pm EST
I'm so sorry, Sandy. You're right, we have to appreciate our loved ones while we have them.
♥♥LoViNg♥LiFe♥ ♥♥ Dec 15, 2008, 3:43pm EST
stopping by to say hello
Darin Waugh Dec 15, 2008, 4:05pm EST
God Bless! Thanks for sharing!
Sarah (I want points) Dec 16, 2008, 3:26pm EST
I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine how hard this must have been for you. I try and cherish every day I have with my wonderful husband.
Sandra T. Dec 17, 2008, 12:50pm EST
Very sad for you today I'm so sorry.
Katie Scarlett (Site Bouncer Wanna Be) O. Dec 17, 2008, 12:56pm EST
You are in my prayers during this difficult time. Yes, nothing stops does it? The holidays and anniversaries are the worst when you've lost someone so close to you.
(Jasper,(Disciple for Christ. w. Dec 17, 2008, 1:00pm EST
You are so right we can't take any thing for granted in this word,I'm sorry for your loss. I also lost my wife to cancer, and that put an end to the plans that we had, She was fortunate that she didn't have to suffer very much. Five months after we found that she had cancer, she passed away, It stays with you to the end, may God bless you Sandi and your family.
Carol P. Dec 18, 2008, 5:04pm EST
Sandi, So sorry for your loss. Seems we have more in common than I thought. My heart goes out to you. Such a difficult time of the year. And you are right, none of us are promised one more second. We must try to make use of each second we are lucky enough to have.
Shirley U Understand Me S. Dec 18, 2008, 5:17pm EST
I'm sorry...I leave you with the words of Jesus th Christ of God..'All those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out'.........I'll be thinking of you and your words too
Melanie B. Dec 18, 2008, 5:37pm EST
Sandi~ I am so very sorry for you loss. My prayers are with you.. ((HUGS))
Claudia B. Dec 18, 2008, 7:00pm EST
I would never get tired of you reminding of us of the importance of each day and our loved ones. NONE of us are guaranteed to be here the moment we finish typing our comment to you.
Chelsea R. Dec 18, 2008, 9:52pm EST
im so sorry. we all should be thankful for our loved ones
Lawrence U. Dec 20, 2008, 11:46pm EST
What a great loss! You are in my thoughts and prayers, Sandi!!
Stacey *Mamasaid* D. Dec 21, 2008, 3:12pm EST
I'm so sorry for your loss and my prayers are with you Sandi.
necee t. Dec 21, 2008, 10:49pm EST
oh my God... i'm soo sorry Sandi... i did not realize this...
God bless you and your precious family....


Merry Christmas Comments

Spicecomments.com - Merry Christmas Comments
Donna S. Dec 22, 2008, 10:14am EST
(((( BIG HUGS))))
Kirstie Pederson Dec 22, 2008, 3:58pm EST
I am so sorry to hear about your loss
Lin B. Dec 24, 2008, 3:05pm EST

<font size="2">Sorry Comments</font>
Mary G. Dec 26, 2008, 2:27am EST
Hugs and very sorry this happened. Its hard and wish I had the words to make it easier.
kendra s. Dec 26, 2008, 9:29am EST
Big hugs and prayer for you Sandi.
Kirstie Pederson Dec 26, 2008, 7:03pm EST
GOD bless you Sandi
DIANE D. Dec 26, 2008, 9:37pm EST
Sandi, I just signed back on , and this Is the first thing I just read, how odd because I was just telling my 6 year old Grandson that Grandpa and I do love each other, he thought I didn't love Grandpa because Grandpa alaways yells, he says we fight every day. I told him that is how we have to talk because Grandpa won't get a hearing aid. Martin was my first love, we were together when I was 14, Then we slpit up years later, when I was 21, and have been back together now for 19 years, I can not image your loss~GOD BLESS YOU~
DIANE D. Dec 26, 2008, 9:39pm EST
I am so sorry i have been so busy with the new baby coming, son in jail, Christmas, that I missed the loss of one of my closest freind on Gather's husband~
Sherrie H. Dec 26, 2008, 11:09pm EST
I am sorry for your loss, and hope the healing continues....
Kelly M. Dec 27, 2008, 1:52pm EST
I am so sorry for your loss!