Being the green-eyed monster isn't in vogue.
Are you too jealous? It is normal to feel jealous in some situations but what if you act jealous all of the time? When does it cross the line? Thinking about it there are some times when it just isn't appropriate and can go beyond the realm of being extreme. A real turn off whatever sex you may happen to be.
Jealousy is brought about by a lack of trust. Quite possibly the most important ingredient in a good relationship. One can have matching libidos, the same goals, dreams and desires but without trust this all means nothing. For some people, trust comes easily going by the assumption that someone will be faithful until proven otherwise. If this is you, count yourself as one of the lucky ones. You may get a nasty surprise at one time or another but at least you are giving relationships the best chance of succeeding. Giving someone your trust means putting your heart in their hands for safe keeping. It's a precious gift and it takes guts to do it.
The other part of the population are the ones who are battle scarred. If you've been hurt before, or if you grew up in a home with parents who cheated, trusting your partner can seem as foolish as playing with a loaded gun. Most people stand somewhere in the middle. How does one determine what is a healthy level of jealousy and what is extreme?
Everyone gets jealous occasionally. If one loves their partner and feels that someone is threatening to take them away from you by flirting, it's normal to feel a pang of jealousy. Usually this jealousy can be sorted out by reassurance. At other times it may just be that you've chosen the wrong person. Match a normal person up with someone who presses all the wrong buttons and just watch all that normalcy go right out the window as he or she becomes outrageously, irrationally jealous. Sometimes jealousy is warranted, especially if your partner has a history of fooling around if he/she has done something to justify your mistrust by cheating on you or has a history of cheating. One would be wise to keep their eyes open.
The difference between normal jealousy and abnormal jealousy is that truly jealous people experience it with practically every person they date. They could date the Pope and still be convinced that there was something going on coming home from the Vatican. Most jealous people know they have a problem. Once one has calmed down, most also know they've been illogical. The problem is when one is in the middle of a jealous rage, they lose all sense of perspective. Jealousy is an incredibly powerful emotion. One can't control it because it is being fed by that one continuous thought being "Is my partner cheating on me?"
Jealous people look at the world through distorted lenses. They see danger where there really isn't any. It also has a lot to do with self esteem. If one is happy with themselves then one is more likely to think why why would any want someone else when they've got me. A healthy ego is great protection against jealousy.
Extreme jealousy is an ugly emotion. The couple where one or both partners are jealous is easy to spot. They are the ones who stay home. The only stress free environment for that kind of couple is on the couch watching a movie on television. Some people can't even bear to have their partners watching attractive people on television or in movies. Even the news becomes a problem if the reporter happens to be attractive.
The worst part about jealousy is that not only will people not stop from being unfaithful but it makes it more likely to happen. If one accuses one often enough of having an affair, they will eventually think "heck if they think that I am doing it, might as well do it to give them a reason to accuse me of doing it." (Something that has crossed my mind on many occasions in my current relationship.) The other fear of a jealous person is that he/she feels that their partner will leave them but if they continue to make the person a living hell, they probably will.
Don't let this happen to you.
Are YOU the jealous type?