Published in Ciao
Assistance, a beautiful word but I think it is a thing of the past. There are various ways we can be assisted and as many ways or more that people refuse to assist us.
The banks for one decreased or stopped their assistance when they brought in the automated machines. Some banks are completely automated here in Canada and good luck if you want a smiling face to help you with your banking needs.
I deal with two banks here in Quebec, the first one will no longer exchange money at the counter, it is all done through the automatic teller unless, you need to cash a foreign cheque or you need to get a money order, but, if you want to cash a domestic cheque and or put in or retrieve money forget it, it is the automatic teller or nothing. I hate that. I see older people all the time who need assistance and they don't get it. When I am near enough to them in the line waiting for the teller I do help them. However that is not my job though I don't mind doing it, it is the bank's job is it not?
When was the last time you got a human voice on the phone when you are asking for assistance? You get the proverbial press 1 for repairs, press 2 for billing inquiries etc. By the time you get a person on the phone, you may have waited as much as an hour and half the time when the person comes on they can't or won't help you. The digital world is supposed to make things easier for us, the operative question still remains, easier on whom?
Okay I am old fashioned and though I believe in woman's rights whatever happened to a gentleman helping you with your groceries by taking them to the car, or at least opening the door for you. Oh yes the bag boy will take your bags to the car here in Montreal, for a tip that is.
Also I noticed that very few people will assist you in a bus, especially the bus driver, ask him a question and your lucky if he even grunts. Many times the passengers have had to answer my questions for me.
Here in Montreal we have one seat on the bus reserved for handicapped people, good luck if two or three elderly or handicapped people get on the same bus because very few people will assist you by giving up their seat for you.
Have you ever noticed that when you are in a department store, when you don't need a salesperson they are humming around you like bees around honey, yet when you actually need assistance they are nowhere to be found?
What about family, friends, and neighbours? Okay I realize people with cars are not running taxis but, have you noticed they all know you don't have have a car and they see you dragging grocery bags home every week on foot and yet could they even once offer to take you to the grocery store with them when they go? It happened once that I went with a neighbour but he layed down his rules, don't take too much time I am in and out and I don't wait for anyone. I ran around that grocery store like a madwoman afraid to be left behind.
Assisting strangers can be dangerous especially in a big city like where I live, but what happened to compassion and human kindness? I can hardly walk, I have to sit down where ever I can to ease the pain. One day I sat down the first pair of stairs I saw to get a break. The lady of the house came out and asked me what I was doing. I told her my situation and she responded, "well don't sit here go over there and sit." Geez was I really hurting her?
I remember a time when I was a young woman and my son was just three years old. It was before the days of cell phones. I was visiting a friend who had just moved, and I could not find her street. I was desperate and I was scared, I rang the doorbell of a stranger and explained that all I wanted to do was make a phone call to find out where to go, the person kept screaming no, no, no, get out of here.
I went to another house and a woman answered the door heard me out and though she wouldn't let me in she did bring the phone to the door for me, I made the call found out how to get to where I was going and I thanked her for her assistance.
Now I am not saying that no one assists a stranger because we all know people who do. Yet, generally speaking most people do not. They ignore the situation and leave it for the next person that comes along. We live in a society where everyone wants to pass the buck. Why it that? What happened to the concept that we are all human and at some time or another we all need assistance?


Comments: 48
We may be all human, but humanity has taken a nose dive lately
I go out of my way to do things for people and help when even their own families turn their backs on them. I will go the extra mile, I will give rides, I will offer to babysit, I will give you food out of my freezer when you tell me you don't have anything to eat. I will buy your candy bars and magazine subscriptions when you come selling them at my door.
The list goes on and one. Then eventually you get burned one too many times. No one helps you or cares about you when you need help. No one gives a damn about you. All the ones you have helped in the past can think of us me, me, me.
I am not bitter and I am not turned off to STILL helping my fellow man but I will say this, I will take a closer look and THINK before leaping in the future.
As for customer service ~ what customer service? The only reason I still shop at Neiman's is because you can still get awesome service there. Of course I can't shop there as often as I used to but to go there and be able to find someone who will help you with a smile and respect is virtually unheard of these days.
The customer service on the phone? Are you kidding? Half of the time I can't understand whoever does answer the phone after going through automated phones for half an hour so it's practically worthless to try to do so.
I hope that you get some considerate friends/family in the future. I am very sorry that you have to suffer the way that you do.
Is it good or bad to achieve notoriety?
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the devil himself could be at the receiving end of the money stream and we would never be the wiser.
it is up to the people to demand a human measure to our government and our companies.
if capitalism worked there would be alternatives and choices that customers could do business with that competes with these bastards - but it doesn't.
people have forgotten how to stand up for their rights and demand tobe treated as human beings ... what the heck happened to this country?
to suspicious, I think everyone is kind of afraid, and that is a sad state of affairs.
I do understand not letting strangers into the house. Even when someone comes to the door with a child, there can be danger. So many people have been crime victims while trying to help someone. It's a sad reality.
I can't imagine not helping someone, but I would be likely to hand the phone out the door, too.
I can't say our bank is bad, as you can either call and use the most courteous automatic teller you could ever hope for, or get transferred to a real live person who will help you - inside the bank, the people are very nice and helpful. (this is subject to change as our bank was just bought, go figure!)
We shop in the same grocery store and fruit/veggie market I have all of my life, so we know the people in there, but the town is small. When Mark nor I could find jobs paying over minimum wage, a few years back, OK, a lot of years back, we both worked in convenience/gas stations, where one of us worked 2nd shift (Mark), and I worked the overnight shift (by myself), so one of us could always be at home w/our son -- would I do that now if I could still work? No way! They've all been hit in this town multiple times and last year a young father who was running the little store was shot and killed - he left behind twins and a young wife who's disabled.
Things have changed and they sure haven't gotten easier. Yes, there are good things too, like having a roof over our heads, enough to eat, but we do have also a huge increase in crime and very unfriendly neighbors (or just plain rude). Could be people have forgotten how to trust too......
Still, we'll do the right thing, no matter how others act, after all, we all have to live with ourselves. Good article, Carol!
Marilyn
here in montreal, I still don't lock my doors at night.
how awful for those people and that poor man that was killed for nothing.
I was taught from a very young age to help others in need.
I always open the door for the older persons who come inside the restaurant where I work. Even when I'm tired and want to leave, I hold open the door, and even give them a much needed smile.
That's pretty crazy, about that lady asking you to go sit somewhere else, when you needed to rest.
All she could have done, was said, that strangers make her uncomfortable, and that's why she wanted you to leave.
I understand some people's mentality.
Some people, are just a little mixed up in the head, and worry about every little thing.
> when did a deal on a flat screen tv take precedence over human life?
Is this WalMart's problem ... of just because the average American is
a complete selfish brutist moron?
What on Earth would possess people to step over someone on the
ground and move on to go buy something?
I strongly hope that they find the people who participated in that
mess, identify them from the video, and convict them of man-
slaughter and send them to jail as well as pay restitution to
the person's family who was killed. Of course, WalMart shoppers
probably do not have much money to begin with.
We are mass-producing morons just so we have cheap
labor that we do not even need.
People can and do learn better. Example helps on the personal level and even in my high school kids are becoming marginally more polite as I have treated them likewise for several months. Its not a 100% but its a bit better...
I just wanted to say I am finally going through what is now under 6,900 pieces of gather new mail that is in my inbox on here. So with that in mind I have finally come to a piece of mail that was addressed to me in regards this article submission you have created to share with the gather community. Thank you for taking the time and sharing your piece with us here at gather. :o)
And I hope you have a Happy New Year... in 2009 :o)