by Arduinna Hunter
Member since:
September 19, 2008

Atonement- Loss- Faceoff

November 26, 2008 09:56 PM EST (Updated: August 03, 2009 09:09 PM EDT)
views: 72 | comments: 16

 

Atonement

 

Sometimes I think there's not much left

of that smiling face, that eager hopeful love.

Too many years of living

with one bad choice

weighs like a sack of armor, worn in defense,

now a pile on my back.

Penance.

Like Rodrigo Mendoza.

This cliff I've tried to climb

to find my way back to you

to myself

is treacherous,

wreathed in the fog of now, no end in sight.

Don't think I will ever find what's left

of what needs to be, what always was.

There are some things

even changed by time, distance, hurt,

that survive

Though I don't know how

in this hostile environment

that once was my heart.

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Comments: 16 ( 4 removed by Arduinna Hunter )

Free Spirit or the guy next door ~. Nov 27, 2008, 9:10am EST
The past is like a shadow---you just can't shake it---as this poem of your so states we carry our past like a suit of armor---every time we look for love it weights us down so much with question that we just cannot see the beauty of love anymore.

Happy Thanksgiving Arduinna
Barbary Chaapel Nov 27, 2008, 3:52pm EST
The very evocative poem, Arduinna, seems to suit itself to music, soft and low.
Arduinna Hunter Nov 27, 2008, 10:00pm EST
Beautiful interpretation Free Spirit. Thank you for such a nice comment.

Thanks Barbary, That is a very nice compliment!
Barbra L. Nov 28, 2008, 10:41am EST
Your penning strokes the back of struggle quite well, Arduinna. I like the mounting tension surging from the maze you've created by using self-punishment (penance) in an attempt to atone oneself. I thought, too, the lines below were beautiful metaphors, especially one bad choice weighs like a sack of armor, worn in defense...

Lovely writing, my friend!



This cliff I've tried to climb
to find my way back to you

with one bad choice
weighs like a sack of armor, worn in defense,
now a pile on my back.
t b. Nov 28, 2008, 5:09pm EST
Try telling your heart it is happy.
Works for me.
Arduinna Hunter Nov 28, 2008, 10:18pm EST
Thank you Barbra. I like the way you put it, "the back of struggle". It can be hard to "face" it head on, and that is some of the essence of this. Rodrigo Mendoza is a character from the movie "The Mission", who chooses to take what he used to cause harm to others on himself, literally.
I appreciate the depth of your comment.

Thank you tb. My heart is happy!
Tracey W. Nov 29, 2008, 6:12pm EST
I love this poem Arduinna. It is so sad, so real, so very expressive. Well done.
Arduinna Hunter Nov 29, 2008, 10:33pm EST
Thank you Tracey. Your comments always seem heartfelt and I appreciate that.
Granny Janny H. Nov 30, 2008, 12:10pm EST
Thanks for the explanation. I didn't remember the movie. The poem is graceful and devastating at the same time.
Wade A. Nov 30, 2008, 1:14pm EST
This a very poignant poem painted with images of yesterday and songs of sorrow. Excellent to say the least, and a sad, but very enjoyable read.
Mike Ellwood Nov 30, 2008, 1:40pm EST
Perhaps writing helps. It can lead to different perspectives and ways of understanding the narrative of a life. Well expressed.
Norvona J. Nov 30, 2008, 3:21pm EST
I like this '....Don't think I will ever find what's left of what needs to be, what always was...'
Arduinna Hunter Nov 30, 2008, 7:50pm EST
Thanks so much for your comments, Norvona, mike e, Wade, David, and Janet. I appreciate all of your support!
d g. Sep 29, 2009, 3:37pm EDT
I hope you find what you're looking for without having to fall off a cliff. Wonderful and filling words.
Arduinna Hunter Oct 3, 2009, 9:22am EDT
Sometimes falling off a cliff is what it takes to shake the cobwebs out of my head! I dont mind bumps and bruises as long as it is evidence that I have been living life good and proper. Ive missed you dg!
d g. Nov 13, 2009, 1:35pm EST
I know what you mean, I need a peen upside the head now and then.

Maybe also because we expect a lot more from ourselves than others do.

Miss you too!

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