Putting Up My Christmas Tree

I was going to write the title as "Putting up a Christmas tree for fun and profit."  However, there wasn't any profit and not a lot of fun in the  process.    To carry out this tree assembly process requires the skills of Tim the Tool Man, the patience of Job and the strength of Hercules.  

As long as I had a husband or kids to help buy a real tree, drag it home, fit it in to the tree holder (always a fun time of cursing and festive song), I enjoyed having a live tree. (Well, it wasn't really LIVE but only recently deceased.)  In recent years, when I'm on my own, an artificial tree is much more practical. 

I have to store mine in the basement so am required to remove most of the branches to get the tree around three right angles and into the storeroom.   So after vacuuming the floor of residual cat hair, I went down, hoisted the center of the tree and wrestled it around corners and up the stairs.  Then came several trips of carrying up the various branches. 

Each row of branches has a letter written in Chinese script and carefully hidden under bits of fake greenery. Last year at the time of disassembly in a fit of brilliance (not since repeated), I wrote TAGS and attached them to each bundle of branches so I could easily identify which row they fit.   The upper branches are easy to put in. The closer you get to the floor, the more dexterity is required.  The last 2 rows require me to lie on the floor, twisting my neck around attempting to find the slots.  With a couple herniated neck discs, this isn't always fun.  (A bit of advice to the aging:  the older you get, the more important it is to maintain your balance. Therefore, in order to maintain my balance, I chose to herniate a couple discs in my low back too.  This also may be due to my nursing career.)  

While I was pushing and prodding the various branches into their slots, I noticed my cats had somehow managed to attach bits of fluffy cat hair in various locations. How they did this is a mystery.  They didn't climb up the tree last year to rub on the outer branch tips and the branches were stored in a box and covered completely with a tarp all year.  The cats USED to try and climb the tree but they have gotten older and wiser (also fatter).  

Eventually, I got all of the stupid branches in place and put on the lights. This required many trips AROUND the tree, finishing up by standing on a chair, jumping down, pushing the chair over a few feet, and climbing back up on it. (Another bit of advice: all this climbing on chairs is best done NOT wearing fuzzy socks.)  At long last, the lights were all in place.   

It was time to pick up Liam from kindergarten.  I put my hands over his eyes and brought him into the house, plugged in the lights and then let him look at the tree. The look on his face made all of the effort worthwhile. We then put up all the ornaments, arranged various snowmen and stuffed animals around the living room and VOILA!  It looks like Christmas!