I published my rant here read it is you want to. I was going to add this but Gather was unhappy. It is a bit of Synchronicity. So for what it is worth here it is. I think there is some good advice in this.
How to Stop Rumours
Scientific research is suggesting that the old adage - "Don't dignify a rumor with a response" - is bad advice. The way rumors were handled in the most recent American elections seems to back up this new perspective. So if you can't ignore the rumors, what are you supposed to do?
Don't waste time trying to track down who started or spread the rumor. It's futile and ineffective.
Steps
- Never say "no comment". Rumors thrive in environments of uncertainty, and an ambiguous statement only fuels the fire. Don't play dumb, or pretend that you don't know what people are implying. Also, becoming defensive, depressed, or irritated will validate the rumor in most people's minds.
- Determine what lends credibility to the rumor, and stop it. People are more likely to tell rumors that are plausible, and that hinges on the existence of suggestive evidence. For instance, a rumor about a workplace affair will take off if the two people involved flirt in the office, or sit together every day at lunch. Once you determine what is feeding the rumor, take steps to remove it, if you can. Don't bother thinking "Well they shouldn't assume that" or "I should be able to do what I want without them thinking such and such." The point is, they do, and as long as you continue the behavior, the rumor will continue to spread.
- Broadcast the rumor. Yes, that's right. Verbalize or post the rumor in a prominent way. By acknowledging the rumor, you're taking away some of its momentum. Rumors spread like wildfire because the people who spread them do so in order to gain social status, and that depends on them having the "inside scoop." If you broadcast their "inside information" then they won't have any motivation to spread the rumor. Everybody will already know!
- Address it comprehensively. Explain why the rumor exists, and who is benefiting from it. Then, create a new truth. Rumor specialists call this "stealing thunder" and if it's done early enough, it can stop a rumor in its tracks. The ideal situation is to introduce a new, rumor-worthy piece of information; one that people will gossip over, but which you have a lot more control over. Let's take the example of a celebrity who has rumors flying around about an affair; one way they can "steal the thunder" is by following all the steps above, then following up with the suggestion that the celebrity couple is trying to conceive a child.
What do you think? Any advice?


Comments: 33
Maybe I shall go to the other post. Sounds serious, if Gather has gotten involved in this. Are you okay, Chana?
Mean-spirited people here on Gather have started rumors about me, but my friends tell me, and stand by me, Chana.
Trust me on this one: the people here who are really worth your time, who are truly your friends here shall stand by you, and ignore the people, as well as the rumors. The rumors serve to only make the people spreading them look bad, not you. I'm speaking from experience here. What was meant to try to make ME look back worked out for MY good, because it showed me just WHO my friends were, and who my friends were not.
WORD!!!
SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU SHOULD TACKLE THE PROBLEM HEAD ON, WITH SUPPORT AND ATTENTIVENESS TO DETAIL...JUST NOT SURE ABOUT THE PUBLICIZING PART. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT IF YOU DID THAT, THE WORKPLACE WOULD BECOME SPLIT AND HAVE EVEN MORE PROBLEMS...EITHER BECAUSE OF FRIENDSHIPS OR WHO WANTS TO BELIEVE WHO...
For me, more important than rumor damage is my internal peace, because rumor spreaders, and mean spirited people come and go, pass through, I live with me.
So, as a martial arts instructor made VERY, VERY clear to me long ago, the peace is in, no resistance: When pushed, pull, when pulled, push, and in this type of situation, doing so will defuse, discredit and defeat meaness with it's own energy. It does work in my life, far more than resisting what in the end, will be known as crap, by small min ds anyway
A ten I leave you~ To help you reach your Gather goal..
Get a Hobby, fer cryin' out loud!
BTW, have you heard anything new about GW Bush's venereal warts?
Your post is a good one.
The Chain is an awesome song!
Merry Christmas