The first thing to do with Mom that I didn't have to do alone..
Last year in December when I went to the mortuary to make the final arrangements for her the service owner looked at me and said "you are here to do this by yourself?" and I replied, "I might as well, I have had to do the rest of it alone, or worse…"
Yesterday, Sunday November the 16th, a week or two before the first anniversary of her passing away here with just me, the Emerald Coast Hospice had the annual 'Remembrance' Service for all the families of all the patients lost during the previous year.
I never had a service for Mom, not even an obituary.
We had quite literally outlived everyone we cared about knowing. I sent personal letters to some people, but there had not been in a YEAR,... closure.
The service yesterday, I think, gave me a little of that.
There is also the fact that even after a year, "weak" man that I am I could not have faced it alone.
Joanne went with me, mostly to keep the well-meaning staff off me.
Mom's 'Real Nurse' was greeting people at the door to the church. A more beautiful church I have never seen by the way. I had interviewed the 'other' Hospice in town, and had been wholly discouraged by their big corporate sales tactics, THESE folks cared for Mom, and even if they weren't here when she gasped her last violent breaths, they cared none the less.
I got thru it, we had dinner and saw a movie before coming home to this huge empty house.
Just wish it had either been empty all along or not at all.
So it goes.
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Comments: 37
It lasted three days... and the first night at midnight the phone rang with threats... hence the "or worse".
Many good wishes for you for the future, my friend, and God bless.
Im glad the service helped some
Glad to hear that you are progressing as far as the grieving process is concerned.
As much as I prefer it to the alternative, survival certainly has its liabilities.
Good Hospice is worth their weight in gold. I felt very lucky that my Mother and Sister (and our families) received conscientious and compassionate care from the hospice organization that worked with all of us.
My best to you, Doc.
Hugs
When my Dad was dying, the biggest thing Hospice did for me was telling me what to expect. I been present around the clock when my grandmother was dying years ago, but this was different...cancer makes things different. I'd have been terrified if I hadn't been made to understand what was coming. And I wasn't alone while he died...my "stepmother" was holding court on the edge of the bed at the time, laughing and carrying on as my Dad took his last breath...I had my hands on his chest so he'd know he wasn't alone, and she didn't even notice what was happening...then she proceeded to scream and cry like her heart was broken. Idiot. Hospice wouldn't even leave meds for Dad unless I promised that I'd be there around the clock because they knew that she'd take them, as she did when he needed pain meds that last week he was still conscious.
Prayers for healing and comfort for you.
The person here that said they did, did not, and that is unforgivable.
God's speed....