My kids bowl on a league every Saturday. The older one is with the juniors and bowls away from us with his team. My two younger ones are on the pee wees, and I stay down there and help them bowl. They bowl together on a team with no other teammates. They start at 11 a.m. and usually get done around 1 p.m.
The bowling alleyscheduled a birthday party today for 12:30 p.m. The only lanes that are available for the parties are the lanes that the pee wees bowl on. for some reason the other pee wees were done about an hour early today. I think their family had something to do.
Anyway, after the first game, I was informed that I had to hurry my kids up and get them off of the lanes so the birthday party could start. it was after 12 noon at this point. Meaning the first game took around an hour, yet I was supposed to get them through their second game in less than 30 minutes.
I didn't argue. I just got them through. They hated it. They had zero fun. It was horrible. It was something that I would never want to do again, nor would I want them to have to go through that again.
When we were done and putting our shoes and balls away, I asked the woman who schedules the birthday parties what time the party was scheduled for. She told me it was scheduled for 12:30 and they were waiting for me to get off the lanes. Wow. I then told her as calmly as I could (but was getting pissed at this point) that if the bowling alley ever scheduled a birthday party early enough that I had to rush my kids to get their league bowling done so quickly, I expected a full return on that weeks payment.
She flipped off the handle. She was intirely irate with me for saying that. The first thing that came out of her mouth was, "I don't have to listen to that. You have no right to talk to me like that." Well, I am a customer of that establishment, and I believe I do have the right to complain. Well it got worse. She kept saying the same things, while I kept repeating that it wasn't fair for my kids to have to rush throught their league play. Pretty soon she's yelling at me (after telling me I can't yell at her - even though at that point I wasn't). So I yell. And I say the F word. Then she tells me I can't cuss in her establishment. Whatever. So then I ask to speak to her manager, because obviously nothing is going to resolve at this point. She yells that she is the manager (I know she has another manager above her). I tell her I want to speak to her manager. Finally she tells me his name, but won't give me a number or call him. I insist that I want to speak to him.
Next thing I know she grabs my arm. And hard. She's old, so it was old lady hard. Like when your grandma grabs your arm when you're a little kid. I pull my arm out of her grip and tell her not to touch me. Now she's shaking her pen about an inch and a half from my face telling me she should call the cops on me for swearing. I tell her to go ahead and call them since swearing isn't illegal, but physically assualting me is. We go round and round about her calling the cops and permanentaly banning me from the bowling alley until I walk away.
A while after all of this, I go back and apologize to her. I say, "I apologize for cussing and for getting upset." She says, "It's okay." NO apologies back. Nothing. Just a smile and, "it's okay." Whatever.
Later, probably about an hour after I've left the bowling alley I realize my arm is still kind of burning where she grabbed it. I look down and see two fingernail marks. This lady has left two fingernail marks on my arm from grabbing me!! It was really read after she grabbed me, but I didn't see the marks.
So what do I do? Do I just forget it? Do I have the police do a report on her? I don't want to stir up the pot (really I don't), but has she done this before? Has she done it to another customer? Will she do it again? Will it be to a kid??
What would you do?
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Comments: 108
i think to file a police report would be a little to much ... my opinion
I would definitely speak to the manager above her. Call when she's not there and ask for the manager's contact info so you don't have to deal with her again.
I would call the owner and explain what happened. Apologize for swearing, then ask him if it is customary to double-book lanes. If your kids want to continue bowling, you won't want to spoil that for them. Ask the owner to take appropriate action and then to call and report to you what has been done and how he plans to avoid the same situation in the future.
As for the swearing, technically, in most places it IS illegal to cuss in any public place where children or women are present- a hold over from the old days, but one that I've actually seen people get arrested for before. Most cops don't enforce it unless there is something else going on, but it is illegal most everywhere.
If the mark are still there, I guess it's up to you about filing a police report. I would have done so right away, though, as opposed to waiting several hours or a day later, though.
If it does happen again, tell whoever is pushing you from the lane that you paid for your time, and your children are going to bowl their remaining time without being hurried. That is crappy that they kept hurrying you. They should know by now that kids take time, and that they can't expect everyone to be done ahead of time to accommodate a birthday party.
Or you can just let it go and turn the other cheek this time. Still talk to the manager and see about getting a refund, and the policy etc. Make sure you have a witness then. Tell him/her of the assult and battery and show them. Then let them deal with the employee.
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I was having flashbacks from my youth as I read this. Sometimes winning isn't everything.
Just my two cents.
Personally, I wouldn't report her, but I think I would probably ask for my money back for the league bowling, and I would go elsewhere. I wouldn't be comfortable if someone treated me like that, and I wouldn't want to give them any of my money. But, if you're comfortable staying there, you should definitely talk to the higher up person. First of all, in all of my experiences bowling and attending bowling parties, league bowlers were ALWAYS given preferential treatment. They had the first rights to be there. The alley should never have scheduled a party before 1, and if they had to schedule it for some reason for 12:30, they should have informed you in writing weeks ago, so you could either only do one game, or else come earlier or use a different lane. Do you have it in writing that league bowling goes until 1?
I absolutely cannot stand it when management won't offer a simple "I'm sorry for your inconvenience" - what happened to "The customer is always right"? I would have freaked out about the woman touching me, too.
The alley is offering you a service - the league bowling, which you pay for. I think it's crappy that they would deny you what you paid for, and if they were going to due to a scheduling mishap (it happens), they should say "Hey, we're sorry."
I kind of think that it's too late to call the police but I would be definitely going to see the Manager in person and relate the incident. I don't think that the woman should be working on the weekends with that sort of attitude. It would seem to me that they should have someone a lot more easy going working on the weekends when most of the new business comes in.
I also have bowled many years in the past in leagues and we were given preferential treatment as we were regulars and league members tend to spend a lot of money on drinks and eats during the week when otherwise they might not have had as much business.
Good luck to you!
What you need to do is talk to the General Manager and ask what their policy is concerning your rights as a league member versus the rights of a person coming in behind you for a birthday party. In my experience, if you have the lanes reserved for a period of time for your league they can do nothing to push you through your paid for time. If you have a league contract between you and the bowling alley look through it to see what it says about your time and its possible altering in the event of other bowling alley sponsered evens such as contests, Birthday parties, etc. If you dont have a contract with them I would suggest you get together with other league officials and ask if it would be possible to draw one up for the next league start date.
Hope this helps.
I wouldn't want to cause a person, who may be scratching out a living to loose their food, or meds.. She was probably already rattled before it came to you.
She was in the wrong or she would have had no qualms about giving you the # to the other manager. I would go back until I talked with the owner. Managers will cover for one another. Having a bad day does not give an adult the right to do that, much less in front of kids. I bet you had a hard time telling the kids about this, plus losing it and cussing. But I would have maybe done the same thing. You may be doing the manager a favor, as she may be running off customers, (who is always right) or letting a scheduler get away with nonsense. Ellen B
and tell juila no an hour a game is not to long,, pee wee are young one, and adult run about 45 min a game
Shaunee C., Nov 16, 2008, 2:20am EST
Yes, I would defininately, "repot" it.
I think you could settle this better by reporting this to her manager AND possibly the Better Business Bureau. Tell everyone you know who are patrons there about the incident. Losing business over this would hurt them more than anything. Get them where it hurts.
Dorothy? If she was scratching out a living to be able to get food/meds etc...then she should make an extra effort to act professionally and not put herself in jeopardy of possibly losing her job. ANYONE working should practice self control if they don't want to lose their job for that matter.
You said: "I then told her as calmly as I could (but was getting pissed at this point) that if the bowling alley ever scheduled a birthday party early enough that I had to rush my kids to get their league bowling done so quickly, I expected a full return on that weeks payment."
Even though you were calm, I'm sure she sensed you were getting increasingly pissed. Even though you had every right to be upset, your tone and sarcasm in what you said may have been the catalyst that set her off. Even so, she had no right to put her hands on you. If she saw that you were getting pissed and she didn't feel she could handle the situation without getting pissed herself, then she should have gladly handed you over to her manager by either giving you his number or letting you know when the next time he/she was working.
In these tough economic times, the owner may already be hurting bad enough (discretionary income is shrinking fast!) that he will bend over backwards, but maybe not.
Bowling alleys may not be all that thrilled about peewee leagues and may not be heartbroken about losing your patronage. Small children have limited amounts of discretionary money to spend, the bowling alley probably has to come up with a package deal that is a pain to implement on a regular basis and it's not a big moneymaker or customer draw....not to mention the risk of liability issues and the predilection for parents to get very upset very quickly (hockey moms and baseball dads ring a bell?) Do parents hang around and spend money while their kids are bowling? Do they bring in more customers? Personally, I'd rather not go somewhere that large numbers of loud, excited children are gathered together, particularly when the normal activity of the place is loud to begin with.
Your best bargaining chip with the owner is the repeat business of the league....however, moving the league may be problematic since the other parents may come up with reasons not to do so (inconvenience, location, more expense, new place unable to meet same schedule, etc.) and the kids will wind up being the big losers. Even if you are the head coach of the peewee league, you may not be able to make that happen.
Examining the opposing viewpoint is always a useful test for determining the next action to take.
I would take photos of the injury, go to the doctor for documentation and treatment and contact the owner to complain, beginning with the scheduling conflict--in writing. If you continue conducting peewee league sessions there, make sure that another adult is present for any conversations and absolutely remain calm, cool and courteous at all times, no matter what the staff may say to you. It's called having "clean hands"--making sure that no one can point at you as having any blame in the matter at all. You don't have "clean hands" if you are yelling obscenities at the staff.
I believe you could talk to the cops too, but they probably won't do anything. You'd probably get better results talking to the owner or manager of the place.
What would I do?
I would talk to a manager.
I definitely would not call the cops - I'm sure that your arm will heal. After all, how many grandmother's cause serious arm injury with a grab? You did go and apologize and at that point - just either let it go or do something more.
Did your children hear this confrontation? I think that would be my biggest concern especially if you were yelling the F word in front of them. Salud
You definitely need to talk to the manager. After this passage of time, it may not do any good. The manager will probably back up whatever the lady is saying. At this point it's your word against her.
Tell the manager that you object to the cutting short of your scheduled time which could easily been avoided by scheduling the party 30 min later, to the attitude of the weekend manager who refused to rationally deal with your complaint and assaulted you. I would follow up with a letter to the league officials with a copy to the manager. That way if anyone else gets assaulted or has been, the action will be taken more seriously.
Its not to late to file charges aganist her. Do it before she does it to some child.
Filing a police report cannot hurt.
I depends on how involved you want to get with it. I agree, my first response would be to file a police report, she would get aggrevated assult charges for it. When I was in anger management for a domestic dispute the reasons some of these women were in there! One lady simpley tapped her pen on the shoulder of a man she had had a monor fender bender with in a Mall parking lot, this was deemed assault with a deadly weapon, mind you! I thought that had gone too far, as mine had done, with my drunken husband flipping the dining room table over one afternoon and the cops came, arrested him and then asked if I had been hurt, I said "no, not really" but made the mistake of saying "But I got a good slap in"! This is now considred domestic violence, slapping your husband (Thanks O.J.) I see women slap fresh guys in bars on TV all the time, no one said it was a crime! I got off these charges once I explained them to the DA, but it was stupid and annoying and perhaps that is what this woman at the bowling alley needs, take her down a notch or two!
THEN
find out who runs the establishment like Brunswick and go to the corporate and report her and the place.
I notice that you say that you just quit smoking 3 weeks ago....I quit smoking cold turkey 3 years ago and I have written an article on Gather about my quitting smoking.
Your non-smoking you may have also felt a need to appear...LOL
About at the 3-5 week mark of your quit, you are going to be like a raging person on PMS.
do a search on Gather called "quit smoking tips"
I know that in my town, a police report is useless most of the time....UGH
No fighting No arguing No cops and everyone has a goodtime.
Then, go back and try to talk to the manager of the bowling lanes again, And, if they still won't speak to you, then, go home and get information, or use the internet to search for the corporate office of the bowling lanes and file a complaint.
And, in the mean time, call the police and see what can be done.
Usually, you have to report an assault right away. But, hopefully, you can get some kind of resolution. Because that manager may be back. And, she may be doing that to other costumers as well.
Something definitely should be done.
You have done the right thing so far. Now follow through with reporting her to her boss.
The police? I’m not so sure about that. Good luck and I hope you have been able to use this to teach your children a valuable lesson about anger and respect.