I've written in the past about hating Christmas. I'm sure many of you cannot understand how someone could hate Christmas. Someone even said, "What's not to like?", which gave me some food for thought. I'm not really sure why I hate it so much, but as soon as people start talking about it around (usually around September) I start to get a sick feeling in my stomach. The past few years I've been saying "Next year I am NOT celebrating Christmas!". The only reason I even bother is because of the kids. So, I've dug deep in my heart to try to remember just why I hate Christmas so much, and this is what I've come up with:
I think the number one reason is what it does to kids. I've been around alot of kids in my life, because I've almost always had family day care in my house. "I want this for Christmas, I hope I get that for Christmas, I changed my mind, I want another thing for Christmas". The "I wants" bother me. I try to focus my son's attention on charitable activities during the holidays, but the "I wants" still creep in the conversation. It's not as bad now that they are older, but after so many years of listening to so many "I wants" it really gets on my last nerve.
Christmas is just so commercial. You simply cannot have a fun time during Christmas if you have no money to celebrate it. Celebrating Christmas means buying presents. No money = no presents = no Christmas. Jesus's birthday is mostly forgotten during Christmas. It's all such a shame. Actually, maybe THAT is the number one reason.
For the above reason, my husband gets stressed out every December. He wants to give the kids what they want, and he ends up trying to work overtime or getting a second job and that makes him tired and cranky and we usually STILL don't have the money for Christmas because a huge car insurance bill is due in December, or the car will break down, or some other thing will happen, and he's so stressed out that he can't enjoy anything. This all comes to a head on Christmas and there is a fight every single Christmas. I think I have spent every Christmas for the past 25 years crying in my bedroom.
After my mother died, we moved in with my father at his request. He misses my mother every Christmas, so he's very cranky and argumentive all December. He picks on every thing I do. As soon as Christmas is over, he is much better.
It is alot of work. Cooking, cleaning, shopping, wrapping, decorating....ugh. I can't keep up with the daily work, how can I do more?!
I've been thinking that maybe, just maybe I'll try harder to enjoy some small part of Christmas this year. I do enjoy the lights, and it's nice when people leave their lights on all night long, then I get to enjoy them as I'm driving around delivering my newspapers at 4 am.
Did you know that suicide is higher during the holidays?
How about you? I suppose you probably enjoy Christmas, eh? Or do you celebrate another Holiday?
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Comments: 40
I can understand what you mean...
I do virtually all of my shopping online -- HATE crowds, HATE shopping, HATE ads, HATE all that crap.
Like the lights... don't mind the music... wish there was more quiet time.
I wish for you a sitdown with your family wherein you say: this year will be different. Simple gifts, simple meals, simple time together. Cut your shopping list in half. Send more cards, fewer gifts. Just do it. Reduce your hate. :-)
I limit tv time most of the time to begin with, but especially around the holidays. I hate the commericals and the kids thinking everything is the next coolest thing.I also don't take them into stores that often- I usually go shopping when they are not with me.
Ultimatly, though, as I said before- Christmas is what you make of it. There are a lot of activities you can do as a family without money- board games, watching a christmas special, decorating the tree, building a snowman, going sledding, etc.
Someone I know online does this for Christmas gifts, and sticks to it every year:
Something they want,
Something they need,
Something to wear,
&
Something to read
The kids each get 4 gifts, plus a stocking, and none of it is extravagant. Because they know just how much they'll get each year, they put a lot of time and thought into what they ask for before hand, rather than just asking for it all.
We never did alot of decorating, usually a tree that we decorated as a family and the kids each had a small one for their rooms. I always tried to buy gifts thoughout the year and as the kids got older it was easier for me and much more pleasing to them, to give them cash or gift certs. Needless to say this cut down on having a lot of items to wrap, which is nice.
I hope that this Christmas is a happier one for you.
but for all of the lights and happiness and of course the birthday of Jesus........
we have never really gotten into the materialistic stuff, it's just not what it is supposed to be about,,,you know........
And you just see so many commercials! eee gads!
Could you get your children involved in making a Christmas scene of some sort? Do you have any materials, wood or plastic that you could use to make snowmen or a special wreath or anything that could start a family tradition of making a Christmas decoration togther?
I can't disagree with a thing you've said! I loved Christmas when my kids were young and at home. We were rather poor in those days but it was easy to find things the kids got excited about because they had so little and expected little. We always tried to surprise them with something they really wanted if possible.
And our Church played a major role in the celebration of Christmas. Today it has degenerated into a buy and give day, not a celebration of the birth of Christ! The stores expect to make their profit for the year during this season. Stores in our area have Christmas things out now and it isn't even Thanksgiving yet!
And today, I feel a pressure that wasn't there back when the kids were home. The pressure then was singular and was always money. Today it is, what do I do about various situations where I feel obligated to doing something and often don't have a clue what. We limit our giving any more as with five children, twelve grandchildren and five great grandchildren, it really is a lot to cover. We seldom are with the great grandchildren on Christmas and don't get the fun of seeing their fun. The grandkids can't be at every place they feel obligated to be so we see it about every other year.
I've said that I'd like to have the doctor give me a shot that would allow me to sleep from about Thanksgiving until new years day! Some of the pressure comes from trying to explain to others just why I am uncomfortable. And then listen to the reasons I shouldn't feel the way I do. I hear about "the reason for the season" and today that is greed! It sure isn't the birth of Christ.
I'd love to return to the Christmases of twenty five years ago!
I do not have any children but do enjoy giving to my family and especially the little ones in my family. I enjoy the baking and cooking and sharing with friends and family during this time of year. I love to entertain so my decorating for myself and for clients is fun and lucrative for me. My family takes time to remember what the meaning behind Christmas is and that makes it so much nicer.
The little ones have more than they could ever want or need as my Brother and his wife seem to feel that they should have everything they see. I don't agree with this philosophy but they aren't my children either.
I love giving to those disadvantaged as that is my greatest gift and if I could, I would gift to everyone that needed the help. It just isn't possible to help everyone anymore. I will still adopt a family as Rick and I do every year and of course I already have a family picked out with three children and the husband without a job.
I hate the fact that along with all of the joy there is still so much strife and unhappiness during this time of year. I do know about those statistics behind the suicides this time of year but it is no wonder as people that haven't the funds to give their families what they want or need depresses many. There are also those who are disheartened because of losses in their family or friends throughout the year and we try to think of them and pray for them also.
I hope that you have time to enjoy the holiday season this year Donna. I say do what makes YOU happy and not what everyone else expects of you. This way you too can enjoy the merriment and joy that is the true meaning of the holiday; giving and remembering the birth of Jesus.
I'm not big on company, his family loves all the noise and confusion. Christmas was one of my favorite holidays but not any more. Too much pressure.
When my kids were small, we had the BEST time at Christmas. We had no money to speak of, but we managed to get each of the 4 kids one toy they wanted. We might then stuff the stocking with things to run the toy, treats like fruit or nuts, etc.
Once you've set the bar too high, it's hard to get back down, but if you sit everyone down and explain that you're going to have more fun but spend less money, it can be done. Then plan fun things. We had a blast stringing popcorn. We used a blunt-nosed needle so the kids wouldn't stick themselves, and it was fun. Even the older kids enjoyed it, and I know I had fun. We used to make things for people. I still like Christmas because it's a chance for me to give people things, especially things I make. I put a lot of love into those things.
Why don't you sit down with your family and have each person list three things they would like to do at Christmas. For the feasts, I cut way back as soon as I moved into my own house. Maybe turkey, stuffing, gravy, one veggie and yams. One kind of pie for dessert. We don't need to stuff ourselves silly and that's a meal I can make without freaking out. I'm calmer and enjoy myself more.
My husband hates Christmas, too, and it's because he focuses on the money. Heck, just sitting around watching a movie can be fun. It's all in how you approach it. Only do what you WANT to do, not what you think other people think you should.
There's probably more to it too - the fact that my kids are grown (or almost grown) probably adds to it. We moved from all our friends to be with my father and have made no new friends here probably adds to it also.
I'm going to try very hard to find enjoyable things this year. I think I might just make my sons bake cookies with me. They are older and it's hard to find things to do with them sometimes.
I haven't watched a christmas movie in years b/c of my christmas hatred. How the Grinch Stole Christmas is my favorite. I'll watch it this year.
Okay, so maybe I do hate the holidays just a bit. They are depressing. The only way they wouldn't be was if I were married and had kids.
I don't have children of my own, but I enjoyed giving gifts to my godchildren, and the happy looks on their faces. The presents were always simple things, but they enjoyed having something to open.
Now that your children are older, they should be able to understand the meaning behind Christmas and that unlike the 8 days of Chanaka, Christmas is only one day therefore there is not the need for 8 gifts.
It's not so much them, as the pressure we put on ourselves.
It was great for all, no run up credit cards, no shopping til we drop! We all agreed that year was one of the best Christmas's we ever shared! We exchanged small gifts, took time together to see the lights, and an Christmas day shared a lot of laughs, story telling, and a wonderful dinner! It was truly wonderful!
I wish you and your family very relaxed, wonderful Holidays! We must try and make each and every day happy and enjoyable with the ones we love! For we know not what tomorrow may bring... Smile and have Happy Holidays!
Hugs!
I will definitely pray for you this Christmas season. I am sorry you are not able to enjoy Christmas but maybe this year will be the first in twenty-five that you can smile though even with your father's crankiness, your kids wants and needs, your hubby's work schedule and the hustle and bustle of the holiday. Maybe begin looking now for the joyful things of the holiday, don't spend much time seeing and recognizing the bad things and do not entertain those events. If you have a camera, take pictures of special things that make you smile and jot down in a journal those memories you can treasure. Create a small scrapbook and you might find it fulfilling when you actually look for the wonderful things of the holiday. I would be more than willing to send you some things that might make it more fun and enjoyable for you, Ping me with your mailing address and I will get some things together for you Donna. :-)
Blessings,
Denise
This year, I'm going to hate Christmas because I will have no money to do anything with but it's all about the togetherness and family right?