by Peter Joseph Swanson
Member since:
April 13, 2007

If you can't fit a lesbian or drag queen into your novel, then try a sex change.

November 08, 2008 09:14 PM EST
views: 115 | rating: 10/10 (9 votes) | comments: 60
My novels are not cookie cutter novels where I put the lesbian on page 16 and then think I've gotten the job done.  Sometimes the story has A DRAG QUEEN !!! - or in the case of Bad Moves it's all about a sex change (in denial) who just wants to be a huge Tinseltown star.  Then the gay men become decoration - and the other men too.



Straight men can read my novels, also, unless they only want to read about other straight men going fishing.  But then I thought the point of reading fiction was so that you could SAFELY enter the minds of other people who are rather different (or very very very different) and see what they're up to.

 
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Comments: 60

Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:16pm EST
My logic is stunning ...
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:16pm EST
(not that I needed any)
Tracy Fabre Nov 8, 2008, 9:17pm EST
What about page 17?

Some of my novels feature a "fabulous" gay best friend, but I don't believe any drag queens or sex-changes are lurking among them.
Tracy Fabre Nov 8, 2008, 9:17pm EST
you always stun me. :-)
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:20pm EST
Sometimes a zombie works, or a whole lighthouse full of them ...

especially at the plot point (if it was sagging)
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:22pm EST
I never tried the zombie trick yet, though. When you see me come out with "Lighthouse of Zombies" you know I'm running out of gas.

Especially if it's part of a zombie beach trilogy.
Tracy Fabre Nov 8, 2008, 9:22pm EST
could I have put a zombie in Evan's Castle, ya think?

BTW, I saw your review on Stonegarden! Yay!
Tracy Fabre Nov 8, 2008, 9:23pm EST
lol, a zombie beach trilogy -- I LIKE!
Gretchen Lee Bourquin Nov 8, 2008, 9:23pm EST
Peter, it is difficult to imagine anything you write being "cookie cutter"
So that's what was missing from my last essay. I only got a B on it. I'll get an A this time though.
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:24pm EST
- a drag queen zombie beach trilogy ???

WITH LESBIAN PIRATES and and and ATLANTIS rising up out of the waves at the end - for no good reason - it's just time !!!
Tracy Fabre Nov 8, 2008, 9:25pm EST
YES.

OH, and you need another "very" or two in that last sentence of your post
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:25pm EST
ZOMBIE DRAG QUEEN COOKIE CUTTER LESBIANS !!!

(and I'm shouting)
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:25pm EST
and more !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:29pm EST
When Republican hetero men read my novels (so they can get dates) I'll know I've made it.
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:30pm EST
It used to be the only book you saw read on the bus was Harry Potter. The times are changing.
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:31pm EST
"When Republican hetero men read my novels (so they can get dates) I'll know I've made it."

Or - if they're getting dates then they've made it ...
Paul M. Nov 8, 2008, 9:32pm EST
I like nothing better than a random lesbian kiss for no reason.
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:32pm EST
Isn't this rainbow image SO COOL all in a row like this ???

SO Andy Warhol
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:32pm EST
ha ha
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:32pm EST
Yay lesbian kisses for no reason.
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:33pm EST
What's even better is when they aren't women but two men in beehive wigs !!!

And you were fooled !!!
Dawn S. Nov 8, 2008, 9:35pm EST
Can I insert a drag queen into my wastewater treatment essay? It might spice up the poopy water details.
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:35pm EST
What's the last drag queen novel you read ???
Tracy Fabre Nov 8, 2008, 9:36pm EST
as to your !!!!!s, you should read this.

:-)
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:36pm EST
Dawn, please let the drag queen spice up the poopy water details !!! One with a see through raincoat and aqua 60s dress !!!
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:39pm EST
TRACY -

OH !!! MY !!! GAWD !!!
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:40pm EST
Did this article convert you or what ???
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:42pm EST
Or do I think that I can say any little ole thing and you'll love it just because I have a bright rainbow across my front.
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:42pm EST
(hee hee)
Tracy Fabre Nov 8, 2008, 9:43pm EST
LOL!

I knew you would like that. YOU could be responsible for the breakdown of the net.
Tracy Fabre Nov 8, 2008, 9:45pm EST
No, I will continue to use "sclamation" points but not so much on Con's articles. ;-)
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:47pm EST
oh my. And here I was just trying to get points and I wasn't paying any attention to THAT !!!

(there I go again)
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:47pm EST
Con !!! Needs!!! The EXCITEMENT !!!
Tracy Fabre Nov 8, 2008, 9:48pm EST
LOL. He might just. He's a lawyer, ya know.
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:48pm EST
(I have a rainbow across my front so don't worry about my excitement level)
Tracy Fabre Nov 8, 2008, 9:48pm EST
Actually you seem to be channeling William Shatner.
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:49pm EST
I should have been a lawyer.
Tracy Fabre Nov 8, 2008, 9:50pm EST
or a contendah.
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:51pm EST
ha ha Shatner. I love it when out of the blue he suddenly decides he needs to act.

He is a replacement for zombies, sex changes, and drag queens. He's a straight man who equals all that, for sure.
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:52pm EST
Oh, well, I'll just have to be a fabulous rainbow painted novelist.

alas ...
Tracy Fabre Nov 8, 2008, 9:52pm EST
I just read the title of your post again. I should TRY a sex-change?

Buddeye doan wanna be a man.
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:54pm EST
I was tired when I wrote the whole article. Can't you tell ? My brain pooped out hours ago, for the whole day, and I'm just winging it now.
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 8, 2008, 9:54pm EST
Now I'm just in it for the godless points ...
Lesli B. Nov 8, 2008, 9:55pm EST
Lesbians are fun, but drag queens are funner!
Tracy Fabre Nov 8, 2008, 9:57pm EST
Poor brain.
Lesli B. Nov 8, 2008, 9:57pm EST
Yes funner is a word! I just made it official, I spoke to Webster, I'll call Merriem in the morning.
Lance L. Nov 8, 2008, 9:59pm EST
Zombies are definitely the way to go. They are so versatile. You can make them Trannies or Drag Queens or even the very very short as I have.
Tracy Fabre Nov 8, 2008, 10:00pm EST
LOL, Lesli. Saying it with authority does not make it so. ;-)
Tracy Fabre Nov 8, 2008, 10:02pm EST
Gak, I'm LOLing all over the place. Sorry.
David C. Nov 8, 2008, 10:21pm EST
Don't mean to interrupt. Just stopping by to drop off a 10.
Gretchen Lee Bourquin Nov 8, 2008, 10:30pm EST
Cookie cutter lesbians-- are those the new gingerbread boys?
donna h. Nov 9, 2008, 1:39am EST
LOL....hi all
Sue T. Nov 9, 2008, 2:13am EST
Peter, you'll know you've really made it when Republican hetero men read your novels so they can get dates - with transexuals and 7-foot drag queens!! There seem to be many straight men out there with an eye for a hot drag queen.
Ladybounty ~. Nov 9, 2008, 8:32am EST
LOL I'll keep this in mind if ever I get working on my novel!
Love your icon pic btw.
Fran S. Nov 9, 2008, 9:19am EST
I agree - your logic IS stunning!! I'd hate to be up against you in a debate on any subject!! Entertaining and smart!!
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 9, 2008, 9:50am EST
I should run for something. When I need a distraction ... just have the cameras cut to the drag queens, or lesbians (Dykes on Bikes are my very favorite - they are HOT !!!).
Wade A. Nov 9, 2008, 12:48pm EST
I don't care for reading about fishing so I'll gladly take the imaginary trip, minus the sex change of coarse.
Marge H. Nov 9, 2008, 2:00pm EST
Love your humor Peter.

The comments here are funny too.
Peter Joseph Swanson Nov 9, 2008, 4:52pm EST
Nobody says YOU have to have the sex change ...

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