by Jenn P.
Member since:
July 6, 2007

Please help! Need advice for my daughter!

November 07, 2008 09:14 AM EST
views: 88 | comments: 55
Hi all,
I've posted this a while back...

My daughter has this bad habit of pulling her hair out!! literally pulling it out! but only on one side!!  she's done this on and off for the past like 3 years.  We got her haircut like a boys but girlish ya know over the summer.  well a month ago.. in the back it looked like one side was starting to get shorter. but I gave her the benefit of the doubt.  well today I did her hair.  she likes when I put two ponies on top and two in the back.  It's really cute! well when I did one of the ponies in the back.. it was a lot shorter and then now I see a thin patch..where you can start to see her head!!! I don't know what to do anymore!!  she said she does it when she sucks her fist.  I know this.  but how do I get her to stop? 

I've read about it.. sometimes its security or change..but honestly I think its just a habit to go along with the thumb sucking... ya know? 

Please help me! its really really frustrating me!
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Comments: 55 ( 1 removed by Jenn P. )

t w. Nov 7, 2008, 9:16am EST
I wish I could help, but I dont know what to tell you. If she does do it while sucking on her fist then maybe try giving her a stuffed toy or something to tug on while she is passifying herself.
OK! I can actually help with this I hope!
The disorder is called Trichotillomania. It is when a person pulls out their hair under times of stress or for comfort and they don't realize they are doing it.

Here is an ABC story about it:
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoodNews/story?id=4423028

You need to get to the root of what is stressing her out. Is she being bullied? Is some one abusing her? Does she have disability or learning issue that is holding her back and is causing her anxiety about school?

If you see any other patterns of control issues, like issues with food, not eating, overeating, or refusing what you give her, this may blow into something much bigger.

It is really good that you are looking into this now.

I hope I helped steer you in the direction you need to help your daughter.
Elise w. Nov 7, 2008, 9:21am EST
It does sound like an insecurity issue. My daughter sucked her blanket while she gnawed on her thumb. Taking the blanket away stopped her from slobbering on her thumb. I know you can't take her wrist away, but perhaps you could put "thumb-stop" on her wrist to stop her from sucking it. It's a clear liquid that brushes on like nail polish and it tastes horrible. If she is determined to suck something, maybe you could give her something else to suck on instead. Was she weened too early? Has she sucked her wrist since she was born?

How old is she? I'm sure it's very frustrating for you. Have you consulted her pediatrician about it?
I am just going to assume that this is not one of the twins?
Jenn P. Nov 7, 2008, 9:25am EST
she'll be 6 next wednesday....
.* Sandi * Nov 7, 2008, 9:26am EST
I dont know what to say, I know its called something, forget the name, and you should take her to the dr.
Jenn P. Nov 7, 2008, 9:26am EST
she was struggling in 1st grade... they just recently moved her back to kindergarten.. 2 wks ago... but i noticed it before she got switched back..not sure exactly when she started doing it again.. but maybe it was because she was struggling in 1st grade?
Jenn P. Nov 7, 2008, 9:27am EST
I have talked to a ped about it and she said its a security thing
Jenn P. Nov 7, 2008, 9:28am EST
i was thinking about putting this hat on her.. its a beanie type hat (not winter) and let her sleep like that.. but she also does this like in the evening so i dunno what to do
Personally, I just think the hat will be a temporary fix.
Jenn P. Nov 7, 2008, 9:32am EST
yeah good point...
Jenn P. Nov 7, 2008, 9:32am EST
hopefully with her being back in kindergarten and her knowing how to do the work .. well most of it..maybe that will help
I am cluless on this one-I wish I could help!
Cristina S. Nov 7, 2008, 10:04am EST
It's a serious condition Jenn, and all I can tell you is: she needs help - she won't stop on her own. You need to REALLY find out what is making her insecure and clear it up - and maybe you can do that on your own and maybe you can't. Maybe she needs professional help.
Samantha H. Nov 7, 2008, 10:11am EST
There's actually something call Trichotillomania that I did a report on in high school. My friend had it, only she pulled out her eye lashes and eye brows.
Jenn P. Nov 7, 2008, 10:14am EST
Yeah I read about that.. but seems that when you have that.. you actually watch yourself pulling the stuff out.. but maddie she only does this when she is bored or sleepy...
kelldogg ! Nov 7, 2008, 10:15am EST
it sounds like sarah gave you my answer already! it's called trichotillomania and is caused by stress. kinda a mental condition. if you can't seem to get to the bottom of her problems and curb her anxiety/desire to pull out her hair, it might be necessary to consult a psychologist . . . sometimes professionals can get out information that parents can't.
Monica H. Nov 7, 2008, 12:42pm EST
I would definately consult a physician/pscychologist/family doctor if it were my daughter. It may just be a phase, but I would venture to guess that it might be a psychological issue that could be treated if caught in time.
Janet "Jax" B. Nov 7, 2008, 1:02pm EST
I agree with Monica, because she will need to see someone. A professional will be able to get to the root of the problem better than anyone else. Hopefully it's just a phase.
Jenn P. Nov 7, 2008, 2:13pm EST
Thanks for the advice.. this is why I love GAther :)
I'm going to give her two months.. to adjust going to a new class and going back to kindergarten. also Me and her are not as close as I am with my boys. So I'm going to start spending maddie and mommy time each night.. whether its doing a puzzle, reading a book, coloring... or playing with barbies..

I'm hoping these 2 things help.. if not then I will look into getting her help...
Sandy (back in Ohio...blah!) Nov 7, 2008, 3:09pm EST
I agree with Sarah. I think you need to get her to a doctor and checked out. Good luck.

Stopping by to help Photobucket Paying it forward
Pamela K. Nov 7, 2008, 3:47pm EST
Sorry I can not help. I think that whoever said to take her to the doctor was right. This may be a medical issue.
Chrissy O. Nov 7, 2008, 5:14pm EST
Iam no help but I figure I would wish you luck and let me know when you figure this out.
*Hugs*
debra g. Nov 7, 2008, 6:05pm EST
You got some great help here .I'm sure its a medical issue also and hope you get it cleared up very soon.I wish I could help more.
Thank you for posting to sparealine.gather.com
Looks like you got some great info on your questions. I hope you can get to the bottom of this soon. Good luck.
Cheryle - Returns comments - R. Nov 7, 2008, 10:10pm EST
I would, when i noticed her doing it, give her something else for her hands to play with. maybe for bed time give her a small flash light to play with. Or get her to play a sport, maybe she needs to get something out.
Cheryle - Returns comments - R. Nov 7, 2008, 10:10pm EST
PS - Thanks for posting to Goldfish Post All
♥♥LoViNg♥LiFe♥ ♥♥ Nov 8, 2008, 6:31pm EST
My friends daughter does the same thing but she pulls her eylashes out.
♥♥LoViNg♥LiFe♥ ♥♥ Nov 8, 2008, 6:31pm EST
and they gave her the same diagnosis that sarah posted up on top.
and to this day she can not figure out why it is happening
♥♥LoViNg♥LiFe♥ ♥♥ Nov 8, 2008, 6:32pm EST
but it is only one eye
♥♥LoViNg♥LiFe♥ ♥♥ Nov 8, 2008, 6:32pm EST
paying it forward
Penny M. Nov 8, 2008, 6:38pm EST
Paying it Forward for all my friends!
Marilyn M. Nov 8, 2008, 7:57pm EST
There was a little girl next door to us who did this when I was a teenager. She was about 6, I think. They finally sent her to the Cleveland Clinic for tests and found out she had some terrible vitamin deficiencies. When they fixed that, she stopped pulling out her hair.
Connie C. Nov 8, 2008, 8:33pm EST
Congratulations for being one of the people of the day Nov 9 in the Play It forward group. I am here to support you.
Lisa B. Nov 8, 2008, 8:36pm EST
I'm sorry i dont have any good advice for you. I hope you guys figure something out soon
Karen M. Nov 8, 2008, 10:09pm EST
That is a tough one. I hope it just goes away for her and you !
I am here to pay it forward!
Sarah (can't believe the year's over) G. Nov 8, 2008, 10:12pm EST
Let me know if you need to chat again! I am here!
shelly f. Nov 8, 2008, 10:41pm EST
take her to her dr. more than likely she will grow out of it. my kids did things like this. my 3 yr old bangs his head on the floor when he gets mad. so much that he makes it bleed at times. i was really worried but dr. says he must not hurt hoimself or he would stop. let me know if i can help
Renita P. Nov 8, 2008, 10:50pm EST
I see others have posted about the actual disorder that makes people do things like this. But it could just be a nervous or security thing. My nephew used to pull hair HARD (but not his own) as a way of comforting himself. My 7 yr old makes weird noises nonstop. The only thing I've noticed that has helped has been calm reminders and lots of positive attention. Is there maybe another toy that would have long hair that she could pull or something so that it wasn't her own? Yikes.

Good luck, Jenn. By the way, send me an update on how the class change went.


paying it forward.
Bryan B. Nov 9, 2008, 3:42am EST
Wish I could help but I honestly have no idea.

Paying it forward with a 10 for you!
Becky S. Nov 9, 2008, 3:49am EST
Sounds like everyone gave you some good advice & you gave yourself some as well. Maybe the extra mommy attention will help. I'll keep you on my Gather prayer list. Blessings to you my friend. ~paying it forward~
Mary Bee Nov 9, 2008, 7:12am EST
Paying it forward....I agree with Becky you have had some good advice
Cecilia Lyne Nov 9, 2008, 7:50am EST
I have never had to deal with this. Sorry I have no advice. Hopefully something will work.
**hugs**
Cecilia Lyne Nov 9, 2008, 7:50am EST
~ paying it forward ~
Megan R. Nov 9, 2008, 5:05pm EST
My daughter (now 12) had the same habit. I totally stressed about it at the time, but until reading your post I had completely forgotten. She did it for a couple of years, then just outgrew it and stopped.
Paying it forward.
Kimberly Ripley Nov 9, 2008, 9:13pm EST
Call her pediatrician. They'll make sure there's no medical reason.

Paying it forward!
Thats not a good habit. I am not sure what you could do though. I hope someone gave you some help.
**Paying it forward**
Lisa C. Nov 11, 2008, 9:33pm EST
Thanks for sharing! I just got home from vacation and I'm trying to catch up but I wanted to stop by and Pay it Forward!
Kimber L. Nov 19, 2008, 2:34pm EST
Good luck to you, please let us know how things turn out!
Ghostly Ghoul Dec 11, 2008, 7:49pm EST
Hey Jenn i see a comment was removed, was it a juicy comment?
Denise W. Dec 31, 2008, 6:05pm EST

Christian Glitter by www.christianglitter.com
.* Sandi * Dec 31, 2008, 10:02pm EST

glitter-graphics.com

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