Yes friends true evil does exits and apparently not far from me at all. In fact evil resides in the heart of my oldest daughter. She has managed to take the fun night of Halloween and turn it into a true horror show for my family. I had thought things would be a bit stressful with my young grandsons. We all know how children get when they are excited, overtired and strung out on candy. Nope I was wrong; my grandsons were great all night. The four year old was so well behaved I suspected he had really turned into Iron man, luckily once the costume was removed Jr was indeed still with us. He said "trick or trick" at each house without any prompting and even said "thank you". I was so proud of him. Gabe was a little cranky but nothing unexpected. Twenty six year old Beatrice however was out of control.
When things seem to be going smoothly I always let my guard down and inevitably I am sorry for having done so. Bea had been on vacation for nine days. During this time she has had little contact with the ex due to an earlier falling out. She was actually staying home and not going out to party. I was proud that she was spending quality time with her son. All good things must come to an end and that ending was yesterday. Through her contacts on myspace or aim she discovered that a friend of hers was hooking up with her ex. For hours last night we had to listen to her ranting and raving on the phone to the ex and this friend. My bedroom and hers share a wall so privacy is not in abundance. Her voice grew louder as the night progressed and my husband and I were having difficulty blocking her out. We tried to ignore her and used noise blocking techniques such as turning our air conditioner on as well as the television. With the help of allergy medication the blocking was working well enough for me to fall asleep except for the eight or nine times that my husband poked me asking how I could fall asleep. Upon the ninth poke I stumbled from my sleep and knocked on her door. I politely asked if she could quiet down because she was keeping some of us awake. I did not pay attention to what she was mumbling but she did go downstairs where her ranting continued. My grandson, her son was sleeping at my other daughters so getting up early to tend to him was not going to be an issue. It was after 2:00 am but I guess she still needed to vent so I went back to bed.
Not having to get up early she did not leave her room until almost noon. When she did make an appearance her mood appeared to be kind of foul. I can sympathize with relationship troubles and just gave her what ever space she felt she needed. Throughout the day she would periodically snap at something that was said, but I tried not to take it personally. I noted that she seemed determined to pick a fight and I fought the urge to snap right back at her. Early in the week plans had been set for my daughter Lauren and her boyfriend to take both grandsons out trick or treating. This is something they really enjoy doing. Bea was supposed to tag along then let the aunt take over. All I wanted was the chance to get a few good photos. Oh yes and the opportunity to be the official Halloween Candy Inspector. Lauren called and said she was on her way with Gabe to meet my other grandson at my parent's house. I saw nothing wrong with meeting them there instead of first coming to my house then heading across the city again. Bea felt differently. She started a commotion over the fact that Gabe is her son and she has the right to put him in his costume. I called Lauren and told her to just meet us there but not to have Gabe in his costume that his mom wanted to dress him. No big deal! We arrive and Bea puts the baby in his costume. Now he is crabby because he adores his auntie and sadly sometimes prefers her over his own mom. He wants Auntie to dress him but mom is persistent. I was trying to ignore them all. I was busy inspecting the candy my mom had ready to hand out to unsuspecting trick or treaters. I confiscated a few kit kat bars, a peanut butter cup and a popcorn ball. The latter was a lapse in judgment. We say our goodbyes and head off to various cars. Before we get out the door Bea is back inside screaming about hating her sister and the boyfriend. Frankly I was tuning her about and am not sure if she was making any valid points or not. I knew we were all heading to the sandwich shop that my youngest daughter works at so she could see the kids in costume. What difference did it make who went in what car? I guess my daughter wanted to be in the same car as her son, which is fine but it would have meant moving car seats around. After the shop we were all to meet back at my house where they would all go out to the area homes trick or treating. Once the neighborhood was visited the plan had been for Lauren and her boyfriend to take the boys to visit a neighborhood known for its decorations. I did not join in the trek around the neighborhood, which lasted only 15 minutes. Apparently Bea was complaining that it was already late and they had done enough. Lauren pointed out that it was not quite 6:30 pm and she had promised the boys to take them out a little longer. Bea relents and walks them to the car. I thought maybe she would go with them but there was not enough room in the one car. When she came back in the house slamming things I offered my car. I said we could follow them and be close enough to enjoy the sights but not have to deal with actually going door to door unless we opted to. She refused.
I had been trying all night to keep the situation calm but I have my limits too. Bea starts laying all Lauren's faults out in front of me. Lauren is not an angel but she was not present to defend herself either. Fair is fair. I tried to explain to Bea that I felt she was upset over something and taking it out on everyone in her path. She began screaming at me that she did not need to put up with me putting down her ex all the time. I asked that she be respectful to me and she started mouthing off even more. I am not innocent and in fact knew my temper was near boiling. Half of what she was saying I paid no heed to but several things stuck out. She started attacking my parenting abilities, and spouting off that she was going to take her son and leave. I made it clear that she needed to watch what she was saying. Even said in anger some things should not be said. She stormed upstairs mouthing off that she was packing. At this point I shoved some books off a nearby table and decided I needed to remove myself from the situation so I could cool down. I went for a ride hoping things would resolve once I returned home. Upon arriving home I find her screaming at her dad to not touch her son. Then she calls the police and tells them she is in danger and needs help immediately. No one was touching her or anywhere near her. Once again I stated that if she persisted in this direction I was not going to allow her back in my home. She called the police several times demanding help. They were on their way but she made it seem like life or death when in fact the only person screaming was her. I had come home to find that the boys had been dropped off and Bea had tried to get Lauren to keep the baby. Lauren had other plans and did not realize that a fight had taken place. The police arrived and tried to talk sense into my daughter. She has no money, no car and no place to stay. They tried to find her a shelter but it was clear that no violence had taken place and this was not considered an emergency. She insisted they bring her up the street to where her friend works so she could borrow money for a hotel. I could do little else but hug my little grandson good bye and help him pack up a few toys. I am sitting here in tears now just thinking about how the baby is not upstairs sleeping in his crib. At this moment I do not like my daughter very much at all. I don't know where she plans on staying or with whom. I know if she asks I will let her back here but wish I was strong enough to tell her no. Let her see what it is like in the real world. She pays us no rent, has free babysitters but guess that was too hard of a life for her. I told her tonight that I love her but she is not my priority any longer her son is. His needs must come before hers. Too bad she is not mature enough to see that.
******update. It is 4:00 am and my daughter just phoned to inform me that maybe she will talk to me in the morning. I told her I love her but that she needs help. If she does not agree to seek help then I can not allow her to come back home. Guess I need to try and get some sleep tonight.