I am being real... not a costume.. not made up.. I know haloween is tomorrow, but since moving and divorcing my oldest son has become very rude, mean and very unsociable.
To the point the other night he was stomping his feet bad enough im sure the neighbors 4 doors down could hear.
He is ADHD and ODD and is on concerta. It might be time to up his medication. He was doing fine with the move and divorce until football season ended.. and then it seemed like it all hit the fan.
We now have daily arguments on what you say... things such as that HE WILL do better penmanship, he will do better in school ( and im not meaning being a striaght A student either, already at the new school a week and half and he is failing 3 classes.)
We fight over how he is rude when he talks and is being disrespectful.. not to mention that my father is gonna get a rude awakening when he hears that I totally refuse to put him hunter safety class... He just today took his airsoft gun downstairs with his younger brother... I mean snuck it downstairs and was proceeding to shoot it off... How did I know.. well, his almost 4 year old brother brought up the target he was attempting to shoot at.. Now to think about things, I need to go down and investigate walls for damage... OOOH IM SOO HOT... I have talked and talked to him about his airsoft and paintball guns and to treat them as regular guns. They are not .. under no circumstances are not allowed to be even played with in the house let alone shot off in the house..
Those things are goinna be trashed this all continues... he will also lose all privelages that he does have left right now... Not much more I can take away from him... I really have had it to my witts end with him...
Any time i try to correct him like you would any child.. he goes off then handle and it becomes sometimes a physical battle of just getting him away from me.
I really do not know what to do anymore... yes I am now a single mother, but what do I do when his own real father wont take a min out of the month to even say hi to him let alone his step dad now jumping out of the picture and not taking any time for even his own 2 kids... it really is a mess and i dont know how to make things easier on him than letting him drop out of school and just go live with his drunk father who is abusive and would let him start doing drugs... I am really trying but I feel like im being backed up against a wall with no escape route...
Sorry I just needed to rant and my gather people seem to be my only outlet at this time of day...
Thanks for listening.
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Comments: 28
Another though is allergies, I know this may sound crazy, but he may have food allergies that accelerate this behavior. Also, one more bit is to reward the small things that he is doing positive. Because otherwise your younger sons may very well follow his lead in the behavior.
I had to deal with this situation with my daughter & she is 19 now & is SLOWLY improving. Hang in there =)
we have got passed all that now and he is 22yrs old now- he did his apprenticeship with his father and works with him during the week and comes home every weekend. There is still anomosity towards his father but he is old enough to deal with it himself.
I hope you and your son get through these tough times also.
YOu're right about the air soft gun....that is very dangerous to shoot off in the house...yikes!
Good luck...
I understand your feeling of frustration. You need to take care of your self, too. I found an ADHD support group in my town and got lots of suggestions and strategies for coping from them. Of course, each kid is different and each situation. Best wishes for you to find some relief soon. It will make you stronger in time and it does get easier.
the problem is that we have very clear consequences and boundaries, but he has recently been stepping over them like big time... taking the gun down stairs... hello... im not talking just basic every day argue over whether or not he is gonna take care of his book bag and shoes that are in front of the door so no one can enter.. im talking safety issues.. and he does not care if we take stuff from him... it just actually escalates things into even worse battles... he does know that i follow through on what I say i am gonna do...
i have once taken a child to school in their pajamas cuz they refused to get dressed for school... so i have no problems becoming drastic to get my point across...
When you have the ODD.. maybe even bipolar issues .. and whatever other issuse (his real father is physically abusive and has pulled guns on others before even caleb was in the picture as i found out years later).. his older sister (not my child) has abusive issues now and has landed herself in jail and she is not evn 21 yet.. im trying to preven those issues before he ends up in jail...
I really feel for you right now. As my 8 yr old daughter has adhd/odd and with the move w just made it has turned her life upside down. She is argumentative worse than before and more. I know it is the change that she can't handle. And yes she had to change schools to on top of having a relative in the family die.
I am basing this off my daughter but I assume your son can't handle change very well. Or changes he don't deal well with? If this is all it is. Than try and get a nice routine down. I know easier said than done. I also know long it can take compared to normal kids.
With your sons erratic behavior I do suggest getting rid of the gun. At least get it out of the house. Even if it means it has to kept at his father's house or someone else's for the time being.
Does he go to a therapist? If not, you should check in to getting him one. Just being able to talk with someone who is disconnected from all the drama and home life can really be a benefit for your son.
There is also a couple of groups here on Gather with other parents with kids that has the same or similar issues you can join. I know of two right off hand. If they can't offer suggestions. They can at least lend an ear for you. As I know how important it is to need to vent and being overwhelmed at times.
http://specialkids.gather.com/
http://padd.gather.com/
Just copy and past the links in your browser to have them work.