This entry was written by ML S., Mike
The day dawned like any other day on Maple Tree Lane. The sun rose in the east, birds sang to welcome the morn and a warm breeze added to the bucolic atmosphere of the shady street. Megan McAuliff woke with the sun and prepared for a quiet summer day with her daughter Janie Marie. Breakfast found both enjoying a relaxing time in the quaint pale yellow kitchen. Little did Megan McAuliff know how her day would change.
“Janie, would you like to help mommy around the house today?”
“Do I hafta mommy? I wanna play in the yard.”
Janie sat at the kitchen table across from her mother. She was full of pride because she was now able to sit in a chair like a big girl without her dreaded booster seat. Her doll Sweet Sally Susie sat in the chair beside her like a big girl too.
“I’m Sweet Sally Susie. Won’t you play with me?”
“Not now Susie. I’m having breaky,” Janie said to her doll.
Megan inwardly recoiled at the high pitched animated speech of the doll. Why couldn’t they have put an off switch on that sickening sweet voice? I’ve listened that damned thing a million times already this morning and it isn’t even eight yet. That designer better hope he never runs into me.
“Please don’t do that with your doll? Mommy has a headache.”
Janie moped, “Sorry mommy.”
Mother and daughter sat in quiet. Their spoons’ tinkling against the bowl sides was the only punctuation to the silence that descended after the light scolding.
“Are you done with your cereal Janie?” Megan asked as she finished her breakfast.
“Yes mommy.”
“Then you can help me take the dishes to the sink so I can do the dishes.”
“Thank you Janie,” Megan said as she took the bowl and spoon from her daughter.
While running water into the sink, Megan moved around the kitchen gathering up items from last night’s supper.
“Honestly, I think your father can’t pick up a single thing after himself,” Megan joked as Janie giggled while she moved her chair beside the sink so she could watch.
“Careful Janie. I don’t want you to hurt yourself. Leave the sharp things alone.”
“I will mommy.”
Megan absently hummed as she washed dishes and glasses first leaving the cutlery last. She could hear Janie whispering and playing as though her doll was holding a conversation with her. Her attention distracted, the distinctive sound of a knife being drawn across the counter still resounded in her ears.
“Janie Marie! You give that to me right now young lady!”
“I’m sorry mommy. Sally said we should play with it,” Janie said with tears at the corner of her eyes.
“Don’t give me any of that. You know it’s wrong to play with this,” Megan scolded as she carefully took the knife from her daughter’s hand.
“Trying to blame it on a lifeless doll. I’m very disappointed in you. You go to your room right this instant.”
Janie quickly ran to her room. The sound of her crying trailing behind her along with her doll as its head lolled grotesquely side to side. The sound of her door slamming lent finality to the scene.
“I swear that child will give me a gray hair soon.”
Megan followed after her daughter to make sure she was ok. Walking by the table, she set the offending knife down and promptly forgot about its existence as worry crept into her mind.
“Janie? Mommy isn’t mad at you. You scared me with the knife. You could have seriously hurt yourself,” Megan said to her daughter as she entered her room.
Megan took Janie into her arms and rocked her crying daughter to sleep. Taking the doll gently from under Janie’s arm, Megan placed it high on a shelf in the closet.
“There. I swear that doll gives me the creeps,” Megan said to herself as she eyed all the other dolls arrayed around the room. She got the unsettling feeling they were all watching her.
Back at the kitchen sink, Megan returned to washing the dishes. The knife lay forgotten on the table where she placed it. The sound of small feet made their way down the hall and into the kitchen. The chair once more slid up by the counter.
“You ok sweetie? I hope so,” Megan said without turning so she could concentrate on the dishes. No reply came from her daughter but she wasn’t surprised.
“If you behave yourself, you may stay this time.”
A few seconds passed and Janie still hadn’t gotten up on the chair. Megan thought she must be pouting a bit still. Then once more the sound came and pierced her attention. The sound of the knife sliding slowly off the table. Megan instantly chided herself for being so stupid to leave it there.
Turning quickly, Megan’s mouth opened in a silent scream as all her emotions came together to send a convulsive shiver up her spine. There standing in front of her was Sally holding her daughter whose eyes held the same blank look of a doll in one hand and the long knife in the other. The same thought went through her mind over and over at warp speed. This can’t be, this can’t be!
Out of her daughter’s mouth came words that would never leave Megan’s ears, “I’m Sweet Janie Marie. Won’t you play with me?”
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by
Vivian A.
Member since:
July 18, 2007 100 Maple Tree Lane
October 30, 2008 12:25 PM EDT
(Updated: November 06, 2008 06:48 PM EST)
views: 64
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rating: 10/10
(2 votes)
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comments: 10
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Comments: 10
Overall, a fine phantasmorgical story told chillingly.
Some presentation problems, but a good effort.
Definately some problems with transitions from scene to scene, and some issues with who's doing what. It needs some connective tissue between dialogues. And no need to telegraph with this sentence: "Little did Megan McAuliff know how her day would change." That kind of thing is never really needed in a story. Just move ahead with the action and let the reader figure it out.
Definately a terrifying tale!