A Mom's Prank Backfires
One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the
Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick.
She told my sister that she needed something from the store.
When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed
the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and
re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.
When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven
and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something,
she reached in and pulled out the little bird.
With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia,
you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news,
my sister started to cry.
It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs! (allpix.com)
Just Following Tradition
We visited our newly married daughter, who was preparing her first Thanksgiving dinner. I noticed the turkey thawing in the kitchen sink with a dish drainer inverted over the bird. I asked why a drainer covered the turkey.
Our daughter turned to my wife and said, "Mom, you always did it that way." "Yes," my wife replied, "but you don't have a cat!" (A. C. Stokers, Jr.)
Dinner Was Delicious
My first Thanksgiving away from my family was spent working a 16 hour shift at the nursing home. For days before Thanksgiving I ranted and raved about how my family better save me some good food, especially pumpkin pie. This nurse loves some good food. I look forward to the holiday season all year long.
The day came and I went to work a little less than enthusiastically. I didn't want to be there, but I realized that my patients needed me regardless. The cafeteria personnel had informed us that they would be serving us thanksgiving dinner when they served the residents their lunch. My husband offered to bring me a plate, but I explained to him that I didn't want him to have to leave his family to bring it. He didn't listen, and he brought a plate for me and the other nurse working that day. We were very happy to have the home cooked meals and politely refused the cafeteria lunch.
We snuck our covered dishes to the break room and put it on top of the fridge where no one could find it, not taking the time to even peek inside, and quickly returned to our med passes. Around an hour later all of the residents were fed, medicated, and laid down if they wanted to be. We made our way to the break room to enjoy our Thanksgiving dinner. My stomach was growling and felt like it was actually starting to digest itself. I was starving. I reached up on the top of the fridge to grab my long awaited holiday meal.
My mouth watering at the thought of the wondrous Thanksgiving feast that awaited me. I could almost taste the Turkey and dressing. I couldn't feel a thing up there. I pulled up a chair and peeked over the edge, nothing. It was gone. We looked in the fridge, in the microwave, in the trash, even asked other staff members. No one had seen it. We began to search patient rooms and see if one of them were enjoying it. It was no where to be found. We did find two residents, a husband and wife eating ham, sweet potatoes, deviled eggs, pecan pie. They asked what we were doing. We explained that our Thanksgiving dinner had come up missing, and we were looking for it. The husband replied, "We had this delivered, but our trays are there if you want them." Again, we politely declined and continued our search without luck. I looked at my fellow nurse and said, "Who eats ham for Thanksgiving?" She shook her head, "not me. We gotta find those plates. I'm starved." We looked for quite a while, but finally we did give up looking. Our stomachs were growling as we returned to work. Soon my husband called, "Honey, how was your dinner?" I didn't have the heart to tell him that it had been stolen, so with my stomach protesting loudly, I lied, "Wonderful. The pumpkin pie was great, the turkey was moist, the dressing wonderful. I am really looking forward to eating some more when I get home." There was a long pause on the other end of the phone and then my husband replied, "Mom burnt the pumpkin pie and we had ham this year." (Allnurses.com)
The sentence in the Thanksgiving edition of my church bulletin intended to say "Thank you, Lord, for the many miracles we are too blind to see." But in what might have been a classic Freudian slip, the sentence read "Thank you, Lord, for the many miracles we are too blond to see."
Thanks for the Pie
Some neighbors of my grandparents' gave them a pumpkin pie as a holiday gift. As lovely as the gesture was, it was clear from the first bite that the pie tasted bad. It was so inedible that my grandmother had to throw it away. Ever gracious and tactful, she still felt obliged to send the neighbors a note. It read "Thank you very much for the pumpkin pie. Something like that doesn't last very long in our house." (Krista Rose)
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes:
I love Thanksgiving turkey... it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.
Thanksgiving, man! Not a good day to be my pants.
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
Here's some things you can do to liven up YOUR Thanksgiving dinner
When everyone goes around to say what they are thankful for, say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught!" and refuse to say anything more.
During the dinner, turn to your mom and say, "See, mom? I *told* you they wouldn't notice the turkey was beyond the expiration date! You were worried about nothing!"
Have a Great TurkeyDay!
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