Baseball Cult Members Ask "What Would...

SAN FRANCISCO. San Francisco has historically been an incubator for cults, messianic figures and oddball sects, but a recent development has caught even long-time observers of the city's spiritual landscape by surprise.

Jesus Alou

"If I had to guess, I never would have figured that people would pick Jesus Alou as a divinity to start a church around," said Jon Krakouer, who hawked beer at Candlestick Park during Alou's playing days with the Giants. "I would have said Alvin Dark, maybe Eddie Bressoud."

Eddie Bressoud: Good field, no hit, no god.

But Jesus Maria Rojas Alou is indeed being worshipped by a new generation of baseball fundamentalists, who cite as evidence of his divinity the Dominican's 6-for-6 game in 1964 and the game in 1963 when he and his two brothers, Matty and Felipe, all batted in the same inning and were retired in order. "You can't tell me that wasn't a miracle," says Mel Segall, an semi-retired accountant who grew up watching the Giants.

The Holy Trinity: Matty, Jesus and Felipe

Cult members worship the Alou brothers as the baseball equivalent of the Holy Trinity of Christian doctrine, viewing Felipe as the equivalent of God the Father, Jesus as Jesus, and Matty as Holy Ghost or designated hitter in American League parks.

Romney: "Perhaps if I'd joined the Alou cult, I'd be the GOP nominee."

"When faced with a troublesome question of morals, I always ask myself 'What would Jesus Alou do?'" says cult member Martin Horgan, a transplant from the Midwest who tried to join a number of other denominations but was rejected because he remained in his pick-up truck during services listening to MLB broadcasts on XM Satellite radio. "A lot of high-class religions like the Mormons started out as cults, but it took them a long time to be accepted," he noted. "Maybe someday one of us will run for president and do better than Mitt Romney."