Countering Powell Impact, McCain to Announce Snoop Dog Endorsement

WASHINGTON.  Concerned that Colin Powell's endorsement of Barack Obama will cost him crucial votes, GOP presidential nominee John McCain is reported to have lined up a comparable cross-party endorsement from rapper and airport security threat Calvin Broadus, a/k/a "Snoop Dogg".

West Coast rappers for McShizzle

"We respect former General Powell's decision," said McCain spokesman Eric Schlepper.  "In the end, the Yiddish-speaking-retired-Army-Generals-of-Jamaican-descent demographic that will follow a Powell endorsement wasn't one we were going after anyway."

"Mr. Dogg has business experience, and an extensive collection of velour pantsuits."

Mr. Dogg's endorsement is seen as influential among independent voters who are looking for change but are leery of Senator Obama's thin resume.  "Dogg practically invented West Coast rap, he popularized the catch-phrase suffix 'izzle', and he's constantly getting into trouble at airport security check-ins," noted Adam Gropalnik, political editor of The Source, the bible of hip-hop culture.  "What's Obama done that can compare with that?"

"This outfit is for wooing elderly women voters in Florida!"

In addition to his cultural accomplishments, Mr. Dogg has more business experience that former General Powell, having ridden on several occasions in the golf cart of Lee Iacocca, America's most beloved overweight former CEO.

Iacocca and Snoop Dogg:  "I got me a lot of money, so I'm all for lower taxes."

Dogg also carries less political baggage than Powell, who supported the second war in Iraq, a position he now regrets.  "In retrospect," Powell said recently in an interview with Stars and Stripes, the magazine of the U.S. armed forces, "I should have reserved judgment until I had more data and instead partied with the Dogg."