Byron Katie doing 'The Work' ... 'My father isn't here for me'

Byron Katie is an amazing woman who believes there are three kinds of business: mine, yours and God's (however you understand God or a higher power).  She believes that mentally being in another person's business stops you from being present in your own business.  Katie, as she is known, says her world changed when she stopped arguing with reality and began to love what is.  She says fear stems from thinking you may lose something that you already have or from thinking that you will not get what you want or need.  Katie believes we let our thinking cause us enormous stress and pain.  Through 'The Work', Katie asks people four questions and then turns it around.  The result: people free themselves from their pain.  Katie asks you to write down your issue.  You need to write it down so that it becomes very clear to you (we think far too quickly and gloss over details).  Your written portion will answer the following questions: who or what don't you like and why? How do you want them/things to change?  What is it that they should or should not be doing?  What do you need them to do?  What do you think of them?  The idea is to write as honestly as possible.  Be angry.  Be mean if that's how you feel.  Once you have your written portion, you are ready to do 'The Work'.

You can get someone to ask you the questions, or you can go through them yourself.  The four questions are: 1) Is it true?  2) Can I really know that it is true?  3) a. How do I react when I think that thought?  b. Can I see a good reason to drop that thought? (and you are not being asked to drop the thought)  4) How or who would I be without that thought?

Once you have answered the four questions, you can move on to the turnaround.  It is tempting to jump ahead to the turnaround sometimes - don't.  Do 'The Work' slowly and let yourself 'feel' your responses.

The turnaround can vary.  There may be several turnarounds that you can find but perhaps one of them will feel very true to you, while the others may have less impact.  An example of turnarounds is as follows.  A thought may come to you, such as: 'I am angry with my brother because he doesn't like me.'  A turnaround could be: 'I am angry with myself because I don't like my brother.'  Or, 'I am angry with myself because I don't like myself.'

I have posted a video of Byron Katie doing 'The Work' with a man who believes that his father is not here for him.  It is about 8 minutes long but do have a look if you have the time because it's quite powerful to watch 'The Work' in process.  If you are interested in finding out more about 'The Work', Byron Katie has a website: http://www.thework.org/ which is really interesting.