by Tracey W.
Member since:
April 21, 2007

Alone - 100 Word Stories Week 34 - Challenge

October 15, 2008 11:03 PM EDT
views: 40 | rating: 10/10 (17 votes) | comments: 21

For the dozenth time, Adrian snagged his hat on the crumbing brick and stucco wall.  He didn't like the feeling - like tiny hands clawing at him.  Where had that little cat gone?  He had only meant to catch up to her, but she remained just out of reach, weaving through alleys until Adrian realized he was alone - alone with his back to the cold brick.  It was getting colder.  Pebbles fell from the wall to hit the street beside him.  He jumped at the sudden noise.  Adrian had never been this alone.  He didn't like it.  Kitty?  Kitty?  Daddy!

©TSW 2008

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Comments: 21

Lisa Frost Oct 15, 2008, 11:05pm EDT
Great take! Interesting story.
Sharon C. Oct 15, 2008, 11:10pm EDT
awe! Whaat a sad story. Great take on the prompt.
Heather ~of the Whippets~ M. Oct 15, 2008, 11:36pm EDT
Interesting take on the prompt, Tracey.
lynn a. Oct 15, 2008, 11:41pm EDT
I could feel the brick snag the hat. Good story. The best part was when he yelled out for Daddy. Now that was funny, but I totally understand the feeling.
Dena Straughn Oct 16, 2008, 12:56am EDT
What a great job you have done involving the senses!
William Dotani Oct 16, 2008, 1:12am EDT
I like the realism your story conveys about the mood and fear of this child.
Donald M. Oct 16, 2008, 9:48am EDT
While a child is playing his mind does not think about the next minute. Now he is alone and scared. Good story.
Sarah (I want points) Oct 16, 2008, 9:58am EDT
That's a different take on this. I like it!
Mary (diet dr pepper junkie) T. Oct 16, 2008, 11:25am EDT
that's what I saw too, fear and mistrust in his eyes. good drabble, Tracey.
Sheila Deeth Oct 16, 2008, 12:39pm EDT
Neat tale. Poor little lad.
sheila h. Oct 16, 2008, 1:21pm EDT
I thoroughly enjoyed this,Tracy..a fresh take on the prompt
a great aspect well executed..
Nice job..
Elaine K. Oct 16, 2008, 5:48pm EDT
Interesting
Kay M. Oct 16, 2008, 11:21pm EDT
Well done Tracey. Great take on this.
Sue T. Oct 17, 2008, 12:41am EDT
Nice story Tracey.
aratma d. Oct 17, 2008, 7:29am EDT
good drabble, tracey.
the creeping of the feeling of being alone is very well described.
Rose H. Oct 17, 2008, 9:29am EDT
I liked how you told the story from the child's perspective and the Daddy cry at the end had me smiling.
Great job on this drabble, Tracey.
Marge H. Oct 17, 2008, 12:58pm EDT
Poor baby! Great description of his growing fear. Wonderfully written.
Jan S. Oct 17, 2008, 10:42pm EDT
Aw, poor little boy. Well written, Tracey

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