This list was sent to me by my friend Thomas and I thought that I would share it with all of you. Men this isn’t bashing. 1.) A REAL MAN respects his mother and places his family first.
2.) A REAL MAN RAISES HIS KIDS, not JUST out of pocket either.
3.) A REAL MAN supports his woman to develop herself.
4.) A REAL MAN doesn't worry about what others depict as a real man. Walk in his shoes first and then tell him what makes him A REAL MAN.
5.) A REAL MAN doesn't Break Promises
6.) A REAL MAN calls you beautiful, not hot, sexy, or fine as fuck.
8.) A REAL MAN CALLS YOU on a daily basis - NO MATTER HOW BUSY OR TIRED HE IS.
9.) A REAL MAN looks past what he's heard about you or what his friends think of you.
10.) A REAL MAN wants to spend as much time as he can with you & won't get sick of you.
11.) A REAL MAN comes over just to watch movies with you.
12.) A REAL MAN kisses you on the forehead just because.
13.) A REAL MAN doesn't tell you what he thinks you want to hear. He tells you what's real.
14.) A REAL MAN should be treated like one.
15.) A REAL MAN doesn't ask questions when you say you need something....him, sex, money, or a bed to sleep in.
16.) A REAL MAN lets others know how He Feels About you.
17.) A REAL MAN doesn't play games!!!!!!!!!!!
18.) A REAL MAN doesn't leave you to go and hang out with his friends if he hasn't seen you in a week and then call you at 4 in the morning because he needs some loving.
19.) A REAL MAN doesn't deny you.
20.) A REAL MAN doesn't just think about sex.
21.) A REAL MAN Doesn't Judge the book by the cover.
22.) A REAL MAN wouldn't use his friendship card to get what he wants.
23.) A REAL MAN knows the difference between a REAL WOMAN and a random girl.
24.) A REAL MAN won't degrade a woman with words nor will he ever put his hands on her in anger.
25.) A REAL MAN sends you flowers JUST Because.
Men please give me your take on this list. Ladies, Do you know a Man who follows all of this criteria? Please tell us about him. I know that I have personally met some of the men on this list but can’t honestly say that I have met ONE MAN who followed all of it. What say you??
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Comments: 111
and now...what do men think describes a "real" woman?
In Texas, we do have a rather large abundance of REAL MEN.
You're right. NO ONE is perfect.
We all wish that we had a Real Man too!
I can honestly say that I fit all of these but one............
So I'm only 96% of a real man. :-(
I now quote from a peer reviewed published paper describing a carefully controlled experiement done at Harvard University. Thirty women asked their husbands or lovers the same question. Which was
"Do I look fat today?"
Fifteen of the men were instructed to say "no". The other 15 were told to say "Not what you think she wants to hear, but what you really think." 8 of these men said something other than no. (suckers!!). All 8 women were upset, 2 filed for divorce.
Of course I made that up, but Im sure if the experiment were done, that would be the result. Every guy over the age of 16 has learned this.
#10 reminds me of the great country song, "How can I miss you, if you never go away?"
I would mention # 20 also, but its been done many time before.
"What's real" isn't "you are fat." You need to answer the question that she's really asking. That question is "Do you like the way I look?" or "Do you approve of me?" The answer to that question should be honest. Your behavior will show it anyway.
Possible good answers to the question would include, "I like the way you look" (combined with a big hug). "Are you questioning my judgement in choosing you to love?" (Feign shock.) "All right, whose been insulting my wife. Let me at them." (Complete with boxer's pose.)
You see, you can answer the question honestly in all sorts of ways and make her feel good.
Number 20 has two meanings. A real man doesn't think ONLY about sex. and A real man actuall does sex, not just think about it. Naturally, the lister means it in both senses.
I never expect anything of anyone. If one does these things ~ beautiful. If not there are just some things that must be met regardless of my lack of expectations or not. I'm not going to be with a man who would not respect me or would hit me. I may not notice it in the beginning of the relationship or even marriage but those two negatives would be enough to send me packing my bags as they have in the past.
My Mom has always had a saying that behind all good men is a good woman. A Man is a reflection of how the woman treats him and the examples that she gives out. Sometimes depending on how the woman feels about certain things the man will change his way of thinking or acting to appease her. I can give many examples of this but won't at this time. Perhaps on another occasion.
I am quite sure that whatever flowers you should decide to bring your wife would make her happy just the same. I don't know how long you have been with your wife but I would think that after a while you would get to know what she liked or what she didn't like.
I am proud of you and I know that your wife must be one very happy lady! Kudos!
Animals Butterflies Comments And Graphics
When I ask my mate that question, I already know that I look good. Not to sound conceited but I do know how I look. I just want him to acknowledge me and to let me know he is accepting or appreciative of how I present myself when we are going out together. Some men just never give compliments and other's do give them so I would imagine that those men who compliment their mates on how they look or how their hair, legs, feet, eyes, dress, whatever looks are the women who never have to think to ask their mate's how they look.
10.) A REAL MAN wants to spend as much time as he can with you & won't get sick of you.
In my opinion Sy, I would think that this would be appropriate for those women who are not married to their partners and quite possibly are still in the dating stage. Many times I have heard of women talking about how their partner would prefer to be out with the guys than to spend quality time with his girl. And then only to call her after he has had his fun out with his friends call her for a booty call. When in a committed relationship, I feel that most of us women would have to admit to appreciate their own private time without their mate. At least that is the way it is for me.
Lastly 20.) A REAL MAN doesn't just think about sex.
I think that what the man who wrote this was thinking more along the lines that he appreciated the sex with his mate but it wasn't all emcompassing and the most important aspect of the relationship.
I kind of like those too.
Thanks for your input.
You also said "Tell her what you really think about her, and look at her with true love..." and I would have to add to this sentence acceptance.
Very nicely put hon.
"The wife"...well I guess I would prefer that to the old one that used to be heard back in the '70's "my old lady." haaa! That one was terrible although I wasn't old enough to ever have been called that, I hated hearing it.
for some people
....
I can only speak for me, but I dont need anyone else to tell me how I look, and no I am not fat. At least not in my opinion. I have never asked a man if I looked fat, if I did, I know it and I certainly dont need anyone else to tell me that. I think that if anyone, male or female asks that kind of question, they need an honest answer!
I love the kind of answers this post has generated..good job Esther!!
Who, BTW, would be afraid she'd been demoted to "daughter" if I started kissing her on the forehead. :)
But! For the past 3 years Ive been blessed with one of those mysterious REAL MAN fellas. He spoils me rotten, he's so close with my kids they've been known to slip and call him Dad. He puts up with my 'bad hair days', depression spells, and when I make a comment about being fat he snuggles me close and tells me to shut up, and tells me how beautiful I am, followed by one of those sweet forehead kisses.
He knows I destest roses, and unlike my first hubby, rather than get me roses he has stopped and picked me wild flowers, and has sent me lilies, my favorite. We respect each other completely. We're more like best friends than anything, with benefits of course lol But, he lets me feel free to just be myself, at all times, no matter what that may be from day to day, and I do the same for him. We live in the same house, spend each day together, but we come and go as well. When I get off work Im not expected to rush right home, I dont get interogated if Im a few minutes late from stopping to shop etc.
I couldnt ask for a more perfect man. Perhaps not 'perfect' in the literal sense of the word, but perfect for me.
A real man isn't afraid to cry. :) I didn't think there was such a thing as a real man until I met my husband, he fills your list and then some. He didn't leave when I became ill and has stood by my side through it all. I am blessed.
Judi J., Oct 14, 2008, 11:44am EDT
You know that is so true. A real man isn't afraid to cry. My Father has always been a real macho man but he is gentle and kind too. He has cried a few times during my lifetime and can say that I look at him even more proudly as to be able to show those emotions that would have been thought to show weakness with other men. On the contrary, he has proven that he has heart and we love him so for that.
I am very happy that you have your perfect man hon. I understand what it means to have a man stand by your side when you are sick and have been sick for long periods of time or even if one has an illness that is for life. My Father is such a man for my Mom with her Lupus and countless other illnesses. My Mom too is there for him and has even cured him from the debilitating effects of a stroke when one side of his face was effected.
I do believe that it takes two to make a perfect or real man.
Oh dear, I am so lucky. My husband is 100% of that list. Thank you for posting it. I hope other women have a man like that.
Margieanne M., Oct 14, 2008, 12:04pm EDT
Yes Margieanne, you are lucky. And there are many women who are still looking for that real man who is perfect just for her.
"Esther my father was like that ALL the time. I'm not sure if he bought flowers but I've seen him pick wild flowers and she loved it. He was what I judged all men supposed to be. I felt like a real failure when I was divorced because I wished for my kids the kind of life I had."
I can relate with the having felt like a failure when I divorced as well. Although I never had any children I could feel a sense of being a loser for having gone through the divorce especially since my Parents have now been married for 52 years.
Some great ideals to try and live up to and like with all ideals, few will get them all. I think that love is a the secret ingredient here.
Sylvia D., Oct 14, 2008, 1:05pm EDT
I would have to agree that not all of us want the perfect man but at least someone who we can be proud of, one who will love and protect and honor us with respect through to the very end.
That is my fondest wish and desire. I don't want a Real Man or a Perfect Man, just a man for me who will be as I just stated.
We men should each aspire to be real.
Russell M., Oct 14, 2008, 3:19pm EDT
I don't doubt for one moment that you are any less than a real man from the times that I have heard you tell of the great love and adulation that you have for your wife and your children. I know that you are a Real Man! ;)
Great list..and nope, I've never met a guy who fits all of these either. I haven't been so great at the whole man choosing thing in the past LOL But my honey definitely has a lot of them covered. :O)
I truly don't feel like most of us women need a Real Man as one who has all of the qualities on the list because some of them just do not apply to all men.
For instance 2.) A REAL MAN RAISES HIS KIDS, not JUST out of pocket either. I don't think that this necessarily applies to all men because first of all not all men have children. Not all men divorce but for those who do divorce and forget that their children must eat, need clothing, school supplies, and love and affection most importantly. This one on the list would apply to those men.
ha ha - are you certain you didn't describe a real lesbian ???
Haaa! No, I don't think she would fit into some of these categores outlined above but if you know one perhaps you can ask her to come over and tell us all about the ones on the list that you can fill.
p.s. never tell a woman she looks fat - tell her she has a bodacious Goddess-like figure !!!
Peter Joseph Swanson, Oct 14, 2008, 3:54pm EDT
By George! I think he's got it!! ;)
"A real man defines himself and does not let others define him. However, there is nothing wrong with being responsible and considerate with women and children, and such attributes should not be limited to real men."
I would have to agree for the most part. I also agree with the fact that all of these attributes should not be limited to only Real Men but to Real Women as well.
o dear.... sigh.... that's dreamy!
Di(dee) T., Oct 14, 2008, 6:06pm EDT
Yes, the list does kind of reach for the very top, sort of like the upper echelon of dreams for us women indeed.
I need a real man ;)
Marianne R., Oct 14, 2008, 7:05pm EDT
Come down to Texas honey, you'll find one for sure!
I am not the type of person who judges. I simply gave you my input as to your remarks and meant no harm nor disrespect by it.
Thanks hon!
"My husband comes pretty close."
You are a lucky lady and must hold him close and let him know how much you love him and cherish the man that he is.
yeah, difficult for any human being to do and be all this. Honesty and sincerity rank high on my list. That would cover about half of the list.
Kathryn Esplin , Oct 14, 2008, 8:34pm EDT
I really don't think that all apply to all men. I also don't think that most on that list are beyond attainable either. And you're right Honesty and Sincerity rank high on my list also and they would indeed just about cover half of the list along with Love.
now where can i find this real man you are talking about? i want one ! haha
meg d., Oct 14, 2008, 9:55pm EDT
Like I said to Marianne, Come to Texas ~ we've got an overabundance of Real Men here.
"I failed. I'm a fake one. My poor (HOT!!!) wife."
I hardly think so mi Torito de Amor. From what I have seen of how you are about your wife, your grandbaby and everyone else in your family you are more of a Real Man. Of course I'm also saying this because you are one of my bestest and dearest friends and I will be waiting for my tip later. ;p
Who, BTW, would be afraid she'd been demoted to "daughter" if I started kissing her on the forehead. :)
Oh, I doubt that Debbie would think that you had demoted her to daughter if you gave her a loving kiss on the forehead at all. I rather think those sweet kisses like that take you a long way honey.
and I don't feel bashed. Just happily outside the lines.
Bret W. El Toro Bravo de Amor, Oct 14, 2008, 11:31pm EDT
Since I didn't write the list I didn't want anyone to think that I was bashing men. Actually my friend Thomas sent it to me. I think he was trying to PROVE that he was a REAL MAN to me lest I blow him off...hidden agenda it seems...haa!
Very interesting Esther. Now, I cannot quibble with each point that you have mentioned. But I can say this, and that is, that today women and perhaps men have a tendency to wish for, or want, or insist upon listing many requirements for their mate. And they require so much that it can never be met. Ever. And there is much disappointment and disillusionment and failure in relationships. So, well...that is it I guess.
Lady Raven Spirit, Oct 15, 2008, 1:46am EDT
Since I didn't make the list and it was given to me by my friend Thomas I would have to say that you are probably right. I do think that inspite of someone reaching for the stars on a list such as this all of these things can all be achievable. All of them by one man if he is dedicated enough and loves enough and respects his partner/mate. I do believe that love is a two way street and what the man should do are things that women should also do. I believe that it all begins with Loving, Honoring and Respecting your partner/mate through thick or thin.
At least those are just the three most important things for me in a relationship.
And yes, there is an enormous rise in divorce. I wouldn't attribute it to things on this list. I would more attribute that to people not giving their partner a chance or the opportunity to work things out for the benefit of each other and possibly the children involved.
#13 Sy's comment reminds me of a presumably untrue story: A fellow who had never dated went on a blind date with his friend. "I won't know what to say to her." "That's easy: say something that is complementary and personal but honest." So they went to a dance and all evening the dating neophyte thought and thought about what he could say that would satisfy all 3 criteria. Finally he had it: "You sweat less than any fat girl I've ever met!"
A Real Woman
1. Hates Shopping
2. Lies through her teeth about how great you look
3. Pretends you are the greatest lover in the world
4. Laughs at all your jokes
5. Always admits when she is wrong and you are right. (Even when she is right)
6. Has a pretty bad memory, at least when it comes to the idiotic things you have done over the years
7. Is easily pleased
8. Loves sports, especially on TV, or if not, at least tolerates it.
9. Understands that fatherhood is about the fun part of parenting
10. Has no interest in “changing” you
11. Cares about her appearance, but never bugs you to shave at least once every three days or so.
12. Other than the above, is always honest
But does that leave me unreal?
And with that answer, that is the answer of the day. No one can foretell or tell anyone what or who is best for whoever. Only the two involved can tell each other whether they are good for one another or to each other by living with one another. My Perfect or Real Man isn't necessarily someone else's.
That's odd that her friends would say such things. I have always found it a gentlmanly gesture and an old fashioned romantic trait when a man brings me flowers. I simply adore the gesture. It must have been jealousy on the part of her friends asking those ridiculous questions. I certainly hope that what others said didn't influence your decision on whether or not to continue sending those flowers.
#13 Sy's comment reminds me of a presumably untrue story: A fellow who had never dated went on a blind date with his friend. "I won't know what to say to her." "That's easy: say something that is complementary and personal but honest." So they went to a dance and all evening the dating neophyte thought and thought about what he could say that would satisfy all 3 criteria. Finally he had it: "You sweat less than any fat girl I've ever met!"
Good, but a little gentler on the honesty part would be ideal! hahaha!
1. Hates Shopping
2. Lies through her teeth about how great you look
3. Pretends you are the greatest lover in the world
4. Laughs at all your jokes
5. Always admits when she is wrong and you are right. (Even when she is right)
6. Has a pretty bad memory, at least when it comes to the idiotic things you have done over the years
7. Is easily pleased
8. Loves sports, especially on TV, or if not, at least tolerates it.
9. Understands that fatherhood is about the fun part of parenting
10. Has no interest in “changing” you
11. Cares about her appearance, but never bugs you to shave at least once every three days or so.
12. Other than the above, is always honest
Wow! Talk about high expectations!
I consider myself a Real Woman but find that numbers 2 and 3 aren't necessary as I wouldn't lie about those things. Furthermore, why would I want to waste my entire life in a lie?
All of the rest are easy as I don't try to change anyone, ever. Respect, love, and adulation cover the rest...at least for me they do.
Hi Esther how are you? We might have to agree to disagree here....but I might easily be wrong. I sort of left this decision up to God.......I asked for one thing. And it is 31 years later 26 of them married...........and we each have our flaws [I have many more than he has]. He is a really fine man and I am a real bitch but I do have the qualities[other ones] he needed.
Lady Raven Spirit, Oct 15, 2008, 9:36am EDT
I am doing great! Thanks for asking.
I don't see any reason why we should have to beg to disagree on anything. I always put my faith in God to send me a proper mate. I don't go around looking into Eharmony into find that perfect mate. If you find one that is exactly like you then where is the fun and adventure of it all? The discovery? The wonder?
I believe in acceptance, good or bad, through thick or thin. Isn't that what marriage is all about? Unfortunately I have not been blessed yet with the type of man that you have so I keep my chin up and keep on praying.
Thanks so much for your input!