by ~*~Nina~*~ R.
Member since:
December 24, 2007

MY HUSBAND AND I HAD A "DISCUSSION..." I NEED THE OPINION OF BOTH MEN AND WOMEN!

October 12, 2008 07:28 PM EDT
views: 158 | comments: 51
My daughter and her husband just celebrated their 6th anniversary. In the past, I would send a little something...a gift or a little money.

This year, when I asked him if he had any ideas about what to send he thought that it was ridiculous to send a wedding gift to our children! (I think that he's loosing it, because we have been doing this...he just doesn't remember!)

He said that people only do that for their parents, not their children! I feel that it is important to send something! It acknowledges the occasion, and lets them know that you care!

Anyway, I said to him that I was going to put this up on gather to see what everyone thought!

Maybe I'm wrong about this, but I think that it boils down to one of the differences between men and women!

What do you think? Please be honest. Thanks!
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Comments: 51

Rhetta A. Oct 12, 2008, 7:31pm EDT
I think it's perfectly appropriate to give them a little something to mark their anniversary. You wouldn't want to give a big gift, but a small remembrance is nice.
necee t. Oct 12, 2008, 7:32pm EDT
hi Nina... i always send a card to my son and his wife on their wedding anniversary...
it's just a nice thing to do to show you care and remember their special day...
hope that helps... love you...



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Ellie !. Oct 12, 2008, 7:37pm EDT
It is the difference between men and women...at least send them a card!
Mary Ann S. Oct 12, 2008, 7:41pm EDT
I likegiving gifts and I don't feel i need an occassion. If it works for you, do it.
Marge H. Oct 12, 2008, 7:42pm EDT
When my mom was alive we always got a card and money from her on our anniversary. This year, I'm sure we won't be getting either. My dad probably doesn't even know when our anniversary is. LOL
sarah g. Oct 12, 2008, 7:46pm EDT
whatever works for you. I find that after 7 years, the only ones who send a card are my husband's grandparents and my husband's step grandparents. Our parents don't even send us a card anymore, which is really okay with us.
Janet "Jax" B. Oct 12, 2008, 7:54pm EDT
Mike and I get a card and a little bit of money every year for our anniversary.
Elaine S. Oct 12, 2008, 7:55pm EDT
I'd send a nice card
Margaret G. Oct 12, 2008, 7:56pm EDT
I think it depends on if you want to do it. My family never send my cards and my mil sends cards for everything -no money though for the anniversary.
Jan S. Oct 12, 2008, 7:59pm EDT
A card is perfect. If your budget allows, you might send a restaurant gift card so they can go out to dinner. Volunteer to babysit if it is applicable.

No one, except my parents, has sent us anniversary cards in 27 years. Even our kids don't remember. Our marriage is always a celebration, though.
Kat W. Oct 12, 2008, 8:00pm EDT
My parents and in-laws do not send us anything for our anniversary but they do call to tell us happy anniversary.
Debby O. Oct 12, 2008, 8:03pm EDT
There is no doubt in my mind, you should send the gift! Personally I think it is just common sense, but I also know that men think differently about such things and it has always bothered me. They like receiving gifts, so why can't they see that?
My Mom did something for our first Anniversary-now she seems to forget after 14 years!! LOL!! I personally don't expect a gift but I would like a phone call after all don't I deserve at least that-I am the one whose had to live with him for all these years-LOL!!!!
Debby O. Oct 12, 2008, 8:04pm EDT
Nina this is your daughter! Why would you not send something?
Linda B. Oct 12, 2008, 8:10pm EDT
A phone call and a card, at least. No need to spend a lot of money.
Shing Wedzi Oct 12, 2008, 8:18pm EDT
"I feel that it is important to send something! It acknowledges the occasion, and lets them know that you care!"
You said it perfectly. You sound like a thoughtful mom and MIL to me.
Kelly K ~ ready for the New Year ~ Oct 12, 2008, 8:21pm EDT
my parents give my husband and I a card and some times a little $$ or take us out to eat.
also for our b-day's and christmas.
we do the same for them.
Douglas Smith Oct 12, 2008, 8:49pm EDT
Say it with flowers Nina, let them both know you care
Miss Darleen Oct 12, 2008, 8:52pm EDT
I think it's great to acknowledge the special occasions in our loved ones lives (if budget allows) and sending a card is so nice. You might also want to invite them to dinner if they live close enough.
Rob Appell Oct 12, 2008, 8:53pm EDT
Why not give a gift? It's a special day for the two of them; one of which is your child and the other is the one they want to spend the rest of their life with; which makes them part of the family. Not a thing wrong with helping them celebrate their special day by giving them a present. It's just as important to them as your anniversary is to you. Go for it! (Sorry pops...you lose!)
Chris E. Oct 12, 2008, 9:00pm EDT
I have been married for almost 17 years and my parents haven given us a gift or money every year. In days like now when divorce is so common I think it is nice that people still celebrate marriage. I also agree with giving a gift when you feel like it for no particular reason. Now tell your husband to repeat theses words. " Yes honey your right!"
Kimberly Ripley Oct 12, 2008, 9:06pm EDT
I think giving them a little something for their anniversary is a wonderful idea! I would definitely do the same.
My parents always gave all of us kids anniversary gifts while my mom was alive and my dad has continued to do it on his own.
I think that if you've been sending them something all along it would be a very positive thing to keep doing it. It means something to you and I"m sure it means a lot to them too.
Alexis Newell Oct 12, 2008, 9:36pm EDT
I would give them a gift as well. I would go with what feels right to you. Good luck!
Alicia Loudon Oct 12, 2008, 9:53pm EDT
Yes a card is nice.
Laura G. Oct 12, 2008, 10:06pm EDT
i would have to say yes to a card, but not a gift every year.
Debra C. Oct 12, 2008, 10:14pm EDT
We do cards every year and a gift card or similar on the 5-year milestones.
tammy b. Oct 12, 2008, 10:23pm EDT
A card is nice. I was always just as happy with a phone call. Cards are expensive.
Roxanna K. Oct 12, 2008, 10:43pm EDT
A card is great. My parents only sent cards unless it was a 10 year, or 25 or something like that.
LaRue B. Oct 12, 2008, 10:44pm EDT
Marriage is very important, both theirs and yours. If spending money on our children for an anniversary present is agreeable by both husband and wife, then by all means send it. If you can not agree, then you must find out why. It may not be important to a man, or it may be that he feels a financial snag with the economy as it is. Giving to our children is a nice thing to do, but not at the risk of our own marriage.
Mike and I don't give our children anniversary gifts very often. Occasionally I will send flowers or fruit. We try to remember birthdays with a small gift. I find myself giving more presents than I intend to throughout the year. When you have 5 children and they start their families, to send to them all for all the occasions, can become a financial burden.
I hope this helps!
Steph-in-NE ..... Oct 12, 2008, 11:40pm EDT
Honestly I think it is cool if I remember(short term thing) I do the same for my kido,, and even my step sibling, my in law are not married this is why I am the best daughter in law LOL!!!My hubby and I get the best of both world for the best of both sides... You see my bday is 1/14 his bday is 1/17 and our wedding (6th) this year is on 1/18 gee the same week and same month no one forget and everybody shower us with love and boogoo gifts.. Like dinner and other kids of Gift card, such as gee Walmart,,It is like Christmas again,, since it is 3 weeks after christmas,, he he he
Janie E. Oct 13, 2008, 1:29am EDT
Who doesn't like to receive gifts for their special ocassion??? Nothing wrong with it, Nina!!!!! Send away!!!!
Member Photog Oct 13, 2008, 3:07am EDT
have any photos you shot of them that would be funny or special?...make a card using the photo and send....more women than men even think about such....

cheers,gayle
t b. Oct 13, 2008, 10:12am EDT
I've been thinking about this too.
I do have a small gift for my daughter and son-in-law, however, next year I may just send a card.
Nana to Seven Cutiepies Oct 13, 2008, 11:17am EDT
Sounds like our house Nina. I love sending cards and gifts and DH is just the opposite. I guess it is a man/woman thing. I try to sneak little extra special things to the kids when I can.
Kimber L. Oct 13, 2008, 1:36pm EDT
I will always give gifts to my children on days that are special to them!!!!!!
~*~Nina~*~ R. Oct 13, 2008, 7:20pm EDT
Thank you all so much for your thoughts and comments! They are greatly appreciated!
Kathleen T. Oct 13, 2008, 7:31pm EDT
I always send my daughter and son-in-law something on their Anns.They live in MA.and I live in PA.so I think it is even more important to let them know that I am thinking of them.
This comment is to let you know that this content has reached at least ten comments, and as such has been removed from Comment Speedway! Congratulations!
Jan R. Oct 15, 2008, 4:54pm EDT
I've sent a card to my daughter and her husband. If I'd known he was going to do what he has done to my daughter, I would have put a restraining order against him. He's a psycho. He's a psycho.
Abby N. Oct 17, 2008, 7:52pm EDT
Hi, Thanks for posting to Complaint Station group!
Chris L Oct 22, 2008, 8:29pm EDT
Do what you want to do! I don't even ask my husband, I just do it. Funny sometimes, how someone will thank him for something and he's clueless. Typical guy.
Rita j. Oct 24, 2008, 11:05am EDT
A card is nice I think
Billie Speed Oct 24, 2008, 11:23pm EDT
I think you are right that is a men & womens issue but since I am a woman I think that it is a very nice sentiment to send a card and a small gift if your finances allow it. I agree with Jan that a gift ward to a restaurant is an appropriate gift. Just as a footnote I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness and the only holiday that they recognize is the wedding anniversary so it was always a big deal to me growing up. It was the only occasion that I could buy a gift for my parents or any of my relatives. I left home at 16 because of the religious beliefs so I am able to celebrate anything I choose to now and I think anniversary gifts and cards are a nice gesture. By the way what an interesting topic.
Samantha V. Oct 28, 2008, 11:57am EDT
I think that it's a nice gesture to give them a card and/or a small gift. My family hasn't acknowledged mine and hubby's, nor has his family. I'd rather get a phone call or email even, than no acknowledgement. Especially when those supposed to be closest, should know what a special day it is to you and your spouse.
Definitely give at least a card Nina.... *HUGS*
Marge H. Nov 1, 2008, 5:03pm EDT
Came back to read the rest of the comments. Interesting discussion.
Mariana T. Nov 5, 2008, 11:40am EST
Hi Nina - I think that a card would be appropriate. Salud
David S. Nov 24, 2008, 10:02am EST
Rich parents should always give their kids lots of cool stuff! I think a simple gift like you've done in the past is very appropriate. It DOES show you care.
James B. Jan 24, 2009, 9:46pm EST
I think you should do what you want, and that a card or small gift is fine... though, I must admit, personally, I'd rather not receive many gifts these days, or even any, and I do know people care whether they send a card or not. I just don't really want more "stuff," with the exception of books that I'll read and pass on to others. Anyway, if you want to show you care by sending a card or something else, you should!
Eric S. Feb 8, 2009, 9:26am EST
My parents and my wife's parents have always sent us an anniversary card as do other members of our immediate families. I know the women of the families are the ones making this happen. I just don't see "guys" doing this. I think it could be a fundamental difference between men and women or it could be a difference between personality types.
Just my two cents. :-)
Heather M. Apr 22, 2009, 11:26pm EDT
send something :)

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