The dog sits by the bedroom door, waiting
while I longingly bury my face
in your jacket that hangs limply in the closet.
It smells of you in the Fall,
fresh soap, wood smoke and spices---
that unbottled fragrance
laced with a thousand lesser scents
that goes into the making
of the unique intoxicating essence of you.
I run my hand on the bed covers,
smooth the blanket, stroke your pillow.
I walk back to your dresser to touch your brush
and slowly pick the loose change
you left scattered on a crystal dish. They feel colder
each day. I look out through the window
and see leaves blowing past the driveway.
The long shiver of the wind above the pines
tells me winter is on its way.
You never said good bye.
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Comments: 123
Oh Duckie, this is so good - filled with small details that coalesce into one big ache - perfect for that bittersweet sense of longing that fills these days of waning light.
well done...but ouch
Beautifully executed and very evocative Duckie. This is really, really good.
I posted this and ran. It has been so long since I tried to write anything, I was shaking with nerves.
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Tonia, if it was not from your prodding, I would have happily put my pen away where it would have remained permanently unchallenged, just getting fluffy like me :-)
Thanks, my friend!
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Flit, if you felt the pain, then I succeeded in what I tried to convey... thanks for the feedback!
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Oh Sharon... you don't know how much that pleases me. Thank you sweetheart.
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Ginny, thanks for coming here to read this!!!
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CC, I hope you know it takes me a while to write them, my Muse is kinda slow... and I hope you're not disappointed!
You just blew me away, my fine feathered friend. I loved the tactile imagery you created. It was PERFECT! (cold coins, smoothing the bedspread.) Excellent job finding a voice and theme and staying with it.
(And the former editor shuts up.)
Gee, you'd really save this? I am so honored! But, I have to go with the faith that... who would know better than an EDITOR for Charles' sake. Wow.
Now, I am grinning ear-to-ear and my shaking have doubled... this time from crazy happiness! :-)
Thanks so much!!!!
And I LOVE THIS! Srsly very, very good. Particularly this:
t smells of you in the Fall,
fresh soap, wood smoke and spices---
that unbottled fragrance
laced with a thousand lesser scents
that goes into the making
of the unique intoxicating essence of you.
That's some amazing WRITING there. (Let me clarify that: Often, people string words together and call it writing. Those are words with purpose that are all so interconnected that it couldn't be accidental. And it's a spot of some the tightest writing I've ever seen. Again, EXCELLENT!)
What a wonderful job you've done with this! I'm so pleased to be reading things like this from you again! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I had to call Kevin and tell him I loved him!
By the way, I love your writing.
And, I might be having another party at the school.
Ina, that is THE most wonderful reaction. Now, I'm teary-eyed. Tell Kevin I love him, too! I love you both!
Duckie 1 ~Smoke Strapon Palin~ ... oy vey, Oct 8, 2008, 12:18pm EDT
i know all to well the slowness of the Muse. i doubt much you could disappoint me duckie.
Another Tweeter pants party?
Seriously.
This isn't showing up on any of my feeds anymore. Whassup?
Any man is wonderful (like Kevin) if he lets you video him singing in the car and post it on Gather. And he cooks for her!
Ina ?Still Hardrock Palin, Goddess of Fire and Shoes?, Oct 8, 2008, 12:55pm EDT
Wow... wouldn't it be great if it happened?
Everybody call your husbands... call someone and tell them you love 'em... you can even call your Broker. Who knows what might happen to the economy!
((((hugs)))
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Hugging Tina back!!!
Regards,
Doyle I <~~~~~
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Grems, cats don't cry. Come for a hug, you mushy feline!
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Joy, you made my day, thanks a million!
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Vicky, I've missed you... so glad to see your horny icon around again! I hope you're feeling better and that the 3 Stooges are treating you better. I'm so proud of you being smoke-free this long, too!!!
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Sue, I've written a few poems and posted them on Gather ages ago, it seems... but, I guess we weren't connected yet when I was rash enough to do that :-)
Thanks again!
ANYWAY...
I love this poem, this reverie, a memory so vividly recounted that it sent shivers down my spine. I wish I had someone to .... oh, never mind!
I love this poem, this reverie, a memory so vividly recounted that it sent shivers down my spine. I wish I had someone to .... oh, never mind!
You just sent shivers down my own spine!!!
Why did you ever think you need to hide from us after writing this brilliant poem?
I am so glad you are writing poetry again. You managed to get us all emotional today :)
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Minnie, your comments are always a welcome addition to my threads. I want to hide because I am nervous, I fear I will finally be discovered as the poor ignorant fool who thinks she can write. :-)
Thanks for your kindness, my dear friend.
The content between the first and last lines is a stunning capture of whirling emotions, and could easily open chapters of readers’ lives in ways with which we could all identify. Your collaborative image takes the reader into the emotion of the poem even more.
Terrific write, Duckie. Congratulations on a well-deserved win!
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Mike, I appreciate your kindness!
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Arduinna, thanks for finding your way here!
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Barbra, wow. From someone whose poetry is always an inspiration, your close attention to my simple poem honors me. Thanks so much! And congratulations to you, too!
I'm glad I did. This was very nicely written, Dream Duckie!
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David, gracias!!!
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Sujata, thanks!
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Sheila, thank you so much!
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J.W., thanks for stopping by!
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Angie, much appreciated!
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Oh wow... what can I say, Brad? Thanks for taking the time to read my little poem but so sorry you've had to experience the same pain...
Your work always leaves me in awe. I am afraid mine would never be on the same level as yours... so, thanks again for dropping by!
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Bobbi, I am pleased that you found this. Thanks for reading!
and for what ever reason I loved the part about the loose change....very nice touching ofall the senses.....
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Lou Anne, I do that a lot... touch things when I think... so, it was a natural thing to add to this poem.
I never had the chance to talk to my sister before she died. I kept putting off calling her on the phone knowing I would be seeing her soon in person. We never said goodbye.
This is exceptional! You blow me away.