by Sonia M.
Member since:
July 22, 2006

Do you want to be 1 of 700?

October 03, 2008 07:46 PM UTC
views: 0 | comments: 38

 

I don't know what motivates some people that feel they must connect and "make friends" with everyone on Gather. 

I turned down a friend request yesterday because after checking the profile I found that:

* this member had joined Gather on 9/30

* in two days, she had 26 pages of "friends"

* She had only 1 post and it was SPAM

* Has made only two comments and both have links to her business website

* Today I have another request to connect from this member

* She has not posted a profile as such...her profile is actually more SPAM and links to her website.

* Her friends/connections pages now are up to 35 pages ..........with 20 "friends" per page that is 700 to date!

 ..............and all these people are flocking to connect......

I'm very sorry, but I do not want to connect with anyone who is mainly trying to amass a huge list just to SPAM them...

Do you?

 

 

Comments: 38

Katrina Hall Oct 3, 2008, 7:54pm UTC
Here, here, Sonia! I only had one spammer, and I sent his letter to Gather upstairs - and that was the end of that. I have noticed a few people trying to promote their businesses, but just press delete.
Natalie Neal Whitefield Oct 3, 2008, 8:05pm UTC
I'm in agreement with you, Sonia...
I've started declining invitations recently myself because most appear to be this kind of "invitation". Too bad, really. Because anyone can gradually build a readership for what they do by contributing to the quality of publishing here, and by joining groups which are designed for that purpose.
Tonia, who hugs trees G. Oct 3, 2008, 8:08pm UTC
I am with you on that one my friend. I am particular about connections and weed through them every once in a while.
Jai S. Oct 3, 2008, 8:10pm UTC
Sonia - I am with you

No I don't. I don't like clutter and I usually check the connection requests for the reasons you explain. I get spammed enough.
Ina ♥ ♥ Oct 3, 2008, 8:15pm UTC
I try to keep my connection list low. I weed it out frequently. I think I'm currently at 127. 100 is a number that works for me, but I haven't been able to achieve it recently.
Ellie !. Oct 3, 2008, 9:38pm UTC
NO! And I have a tip for you...don't accept her connection request, but don't deny it either...and she won't be able to send it again. My puzzle is when people just request connection and have never looked/commented on my stuff and I have never on theirs. So, why is it they want to connect? To say they have 1,000 "friends"?
C H Oct 3, 2008, 9:41pm UTC
I have zero connections. Just havent added anyone whose asked and I've not asked anyone myself.

I don't get very many reads on my writing but I understand that it's for this very reason that I don't so I don't get worked up about it.

Far too many people seem overly obsessed with getting as many people as they can..reminds me of myspace were some of those people have 'friends' in the hundreds of thousands.

But sites like these ARE a good way to make connections and gain attention to not only yourself but to whatever it is that you do, so really you can't fault them too harshly I guess.
Duckie 1 Oct 3, 2008, 10:09pm UTC
Back when I was just a 'gem of the Gather sea', I kept my connections to about 150 members... and 2 years later, I have less than that on my list. For the longest time, I tried to keep it at a hundred but so many exceptional people were necessary to my continued happiness on Gather so I added them on my list of friends. I feel too guilty if I add the name of someone whose work I won't read or won't comment on, so... I try to choose my connections judiciously.
Madame Donna C. Oct 4, 2008, 1:11am UTC
Sonia, I agree and I periodically reach a high number that makes it difficult for me to navigate through posts and be a good connection. That's when it's time to do some weeding. In fact, I probably should do that sometime soon. Thanks for the reminder.
Tanya P. Oct 4, 2008, 1:49am UTC
I do the same as you and some of the others, I check their profile out, friends,posts and groups joined to see if I can determine like-interests and then I check their comments out. Are they really interacting with others at others' posts, or only responding to comments left at their own posts. I've turned down quite a few and I notify Gather of obvious spammers. And occasionally I go through and prune my contacts, though it's so time consuming I haven't done that in a long time. I can't possibly stay in contact with all my contacts on a regular basis, but I really do try to catch everyone's stuff periodically.

Kate, when you do prune, please don't get rid of me. I frequently don't leave comments, but I do view and I'd hate to miss seeing when you've posted. (Actually, that's true for quite a few, and I'd really miss the connections if removed.)
Cristina S. Oct 4, 2008, 2:28pm UTC
spot on Sonia!
Joan O. Oct 4, 2008, 6:29pm UTC
I agree with you Sonia. I like to keep a low number so I can actually comment on my connections things. (Haven't done welll on that lately, just to much going on, trying to catch up now.) I only connect to people who have similar interests.
Kerry (A tree, not a lemon) .. Oct 4, 2008, 9:20pm UTC
Nope, I don't.

I wonder why all of those people accept her friend request?

I couldn't get that many people on my friends list if I offered a free gift upon joining.
Marcella W. Oct 4, 2008, 9:28pm UTC
Ha! I know Kerry. I dont have a lot of connections, and that's ok with me. I like to read most of the ones I do have, even if I don't have a lot of comments. I just love to write and read, so this is one of the places I can do those things. :)
Kelly K ~God is Good All the Time ~ Oct 4, 2008, 9:30pm UTC
no way ,that's too many and if she has not contributed to Gather, but Spam.
that's just wrong
Linda K. Oct 4, 2008, 9:37pm UTC
Thank you Sonia! I have been on Gather for two years and have very few connections...You were one of my first.
Sonia M. Oct 5, 2008, 2:33pm UTC
Well, I notice that regardless of what you're saying, some of you are already connected to her.....! ;-)))

She now has 39 pages of connections x 20 friends per page = 780 'friends' in less than a week's time.

Still just the one "article" about freebie stuff she gets on this website she is promoting and only 2 comments she has made since joining.

So far, 99% of the groups she has joined are "Freebie and Points Groups" and that keeps telling me she is here to SPAM, and not to make friends.

Why am I so interested.....? Because I find it fascinating that so many people are flocking to connect without checking her out first...or maybe I'm just bored ;-)

;-)
Kerry (A tree, not a lemon) .. Oct 5, 2008, 5:00pm UTC
I wonder if i'm connected to her!

I wonder if I can hunt her down via the clues you have given us....
O a mystery!
A spammer hunt?
What fun!
Kerry (A tree, not a lemon) .. Oct 5, 2008, 5:14pm UTC
I nomminate.... Vicky C

OOooo Do I win, do I win!?

I was connected to her Don't tell.
I swear madame it was not me that caused this breech of security! I am innocent and know nothing. Nothing I say!

*innocent grin*
Sonia M. Oct 5, 2008, 6:07pm UTC
You won...you WON!!!

;-)
Tanya P. Oct 5, 2008, 8:33pm UTC
LOL@MYSELF!! I'm connected to her, too (about to be past tense). Guess I should do more wait and see, and probably a lot of pruning!!
Madame Donna C. Oct 5, 2008, 8:45pm UTC
I know I wasn't connected to this person. And now I'm not connected to another 25 or so that I eliminated today. I feel better now that I've cleaned my Gather "house." I played a game with myself while sortying through my list. If I saw an icon and had to think about who that person was, they got deleted. I feel so much lighter now.
Sonia M. Oct 5, 2008, 10:15pm UTC
LOL, Tanya. There are a couple more people who replied to this post whoa re also connected to her. ;-)))

Donna, I've been cleaning out house a little at a time also....It is annoying that every time you delete someone, it takes you back to the first page of connections and you have to start over.....unless there is an easier way and I haven't found it....but I've cut off at least 30 so far, I think....and am not through. I did the same, if I didn't recognize the icon, out they went.
Lori F. Oct 5, 2008, 10:21pm UTC
Sonia I got a connection request and denied it then got another. So like Ellie said I just leave it pending.
Jeff H. Oct 5, 2008, 10:26pm UTC
I have a lot of connections but only really converse with about 20. The people that bother me are those who send e-mail after e-mail just to get you and about 100 others attention to their latest article. I have 1300 mails that I haven't checked yet!
Sonia M. Oct 5, 2008, 10:43pm UTC
Lori, I understand that is what quite a few members do, but I hate to be 'hounded'. Can't they understand that if you turned them down, you're not interested?

Jeff, I'm trimming my list 'as we speak'.... A little at a time.... I want to be able to read and interact more with the ones who are 'real' to me.
Madame Donna C. Oct 5, 2008, 10:55pm UTC
Sonia, it is faster and easier to delete when you simply click "back" instead of moving forward. It will look as if those connections are still connected, but they aren't and you can keep going. I had a blast deleting today. It feels so good to get things cleaned out!
Sonia M. Oct 6, 2008, 12:34am UTC
OK, I will try it that way
Thanks!
Tanya P. Oct 6, 2008, 1:51am UTC
I open their profile page with the option of "Open Link in New Tab" (right click over icon or name). That way I never lose the friends page I'm on and I can open several tabs at once before moving over to those tabs to make my changes.
Wilma D. Oct 6, 2008, 1:57am UTC
I pretty much accept everyone, but if they start filling up my Gather inbox with stuff, I'm liable to disconnect. I don't care about my regular inbox because I can filter that and mostly ignore emails to that mailbox. (I do miss pings that way.) the whole reason I connect is to be able find the things I want to read by the people I want to read. When they cram stuff into my in box it bothers me, because usually I've already been to the article they're hyping.
Sonia M. Oct 6, 2008, 12:19pm UTC
Tanya, thanks, I will try that also. I tried Madame Donna's method and it was so much easier than how I was doing it!

Wilma, at first I did the same, and as a Gather correspondent, we are encouraged to just link with anyone who wants to connect to us, but that system was not working for me. I now prefer to check out their profiles first and see if their 'work' is something I would be interested in. If it is, I accept. If it isn't, I have no qualms now saying no thanks.
Aaron Lazar, mystery author Oct 6, 2008, 2:46pm UTC
Me, neither!!!!!
Sonia M. Oct 6, 2008, 3:29pm UTC
Hi, Aaron! ;-)
Joy H. Oct 6, 2008, 6:29pm UTC
If it was just a matter of numbers, that would not bother me.
In this case, that is not all it is & I understand your feelings on this.
I think I would feel the same.
Sonia M. Oct 6, 2008, 6:39pm UTC
...........but Joy, you also accepted her connection request........!

I also noted that she has deleted at least 3 pings that were requesting she not keep asking them to connect after she had been turned down....one of the pings was mine and one from Rob Appel.....they were there yesterday and gone today.
John F Walter Oct 15, 2008, 3:47pm UTC
Unfortunately, there has been far too much spamming at Gather for my taste since the last couple of upgrades. I did join Gather to make virtual friends who were high caliber (such as yourself, Sonia) and genuine writers and poets, not to be harassed by people who want to ´scam the system´to gain points for greeting cards, for crissakes, or relentlessly self-promote their preposterous money making ideas or vanity sights ad nauseum.

¡Ay, chiquilla! El mundo en que vivimos a veces me espanta. Pero, bueno. Hay que aceptar (o mejor dicho, tragar) las cosas malas con las ventajas de este nueva tecnologia, supongo.

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