A Mother's Tale of Son's Heartbreak and Love

I remember the nights when I heard you weeping in another room. 

I wanted to go to you, comfort you, but knew, it was too soon. 

All those years together, promises made, dreams, gone in one day,

And you were just supposed to understand when she  walked away.

My heart broke when I did go in the room, brushed your hair back from your eyes.

You started crying, said that was what she did as you were going to sleep each night.

Did you know, when a child's heart breaks, a mother's rends in two?

If I could have, I would have taken the pain away from you.

I knew it wasn't puppy love, or a crush.  It was the real thing, and it was deep, abiding.

And I understood when you shut everyone else out for awhile, mourning, hiding.

Then, when you lashed out, angry at the world, rebelling against the anger, against God, who didn't say yes to your prayers,

I was dying inside, praying that you would be okay, would make it through on the other side of all the despair.

How I wanted to take you in my arms, like you were a little boy of six, not a six foot-four man, who was prickly and untamed.

I would have kissed away your tears, bandaged your wounds, even rocked you, hidden you from the pain.

Funny how your children are always small when their hearts are hurting, their bodies sick.

But now, thank God, you've made it through . . . though it took years, was not easy or quick.

And when you let go of the anger, let God have the heartache, the emptiness, too.

He brought you so much more than you could have asked for in the one who loves you.

I thank God for her.  And isn't she so much more than you or I could ever have dreamed of too?

This girl loves you, believes in you, wants to make a life with you.

And son, the way you look at her, and how she looks at you, when neither of you know the other is looking . . . it's priceless.

And in the end, it's funny how, no matter how we thought we did, it is God who knew what was best.

Now, I can tell you, you were never alone in your tears.  I was always there praying for your dreams to come true.  

And it looks like they will.  I am looking forward to the day when you and she say I DO.  Because son, she's the one who's right for you.

Anyway, you may not ever read this, but I guess I wrote it to say . . .

I thank God for His plans and that things worked out His way.

I love you and am proud of the man that you've become.  You are fine and strong and I know it's nothing that I have done. 

It is God who has made the difference and I thank Him for who you are.

And I thank Him for the heartache too, and for bringing you so far.

Be blessed, my beautiful son and know you are prayed for, daily, still.

Be happy, be loved, be true, and be well.

AND BEHAVE!--After all, I am still your mom, and it HAD to be said!