|Â||ZEBRAS DON'T GET ULCERS --DO YOU? by Hadenough (Internet Addicts & Predators)||Oct 2, '08 12:59 AM|
|Â||ZEBRAS DON'T GET ULCERS --DO YOU?||Oct 1, '08 1:24 PM|
The Big Idea?
You ever think about why zebras donÂ’t get ulcers? ItÂ’s actually pretty simple.
A lion comes after them. Their hearts beat fast to get oxygen to their legs. They run away. Very appropriate stressful situation to stress response relationship, yeah?
Now, if they escaped that lion, do they imagine the next lion that may come after themÂ—getting their hearts racing again while they worryingly fidget and look all around for the next bad thing that can happen?
Of course not. Zebras go about their business doing what zebras do on Savannahs.
In short, zebras are in the moment. They respond with stress when the situation demands it, otherwise theyÂ’re chill
Now, what do WE do when a lion comes after us.
We donÂ’t even have lions or other predators chasing us any moreÂ…
So what, exactly, do we need a fear reflex that pumps our heart to get blood to our legs so we can run?!?
That seems a little outdated.
And isnÂ’t it a little weird that we can create Â“lionsÂ’ (aka potentially angry bosses/spouses; crazy lovers, a room full of people who may laugh at us if we say something stupidÂ ,Â during our presentation; Blogs that get big reactions, etc.) that will get our hearts beating in nearly exactly the same way our hearts would beat if we were actually being chased by a lion.
DonÂ’t you find that kinda odd?
Point being: IF weÂ’re walking down a dark alley and someone starts chasing us, having blood pumping would be a very normal
Walking down the hall thinking about an argument we had last night with our mate or about a presentation we need to give later that day?
Not so good.
Living with that kind of stress will give you an ulcer!
Exactly why zebras donÂ’t get em.
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Are you creating more stress in your life than you need too here in this environment?
Some are like alcoholics when it comes to the net.
Just as with the alcoholic's physical craving for alcohol--the net has it's alcoholics with a over depended need for emotional needs here. Both when abused are a sickness.
The Internet is like alcohol A drug in some sense. It accentuates what you would do anyway. If your a cheat, you can be more cheat. And cheating comes in all forms. You can advertise immorality and yet make it look good--call it art, If you want to just waste time and party there is plenty to go around. If you are prideful you will find many companions. If you want to learn and enjoy the finer, you have to search the better stores, And just like the alcoholic you can deny you have a problem it's always someone else's
IÂ’ve always thought social mediaÂ’s greatest strength is also its greatest weaknessÂ– people. People are caring, supportive, creative, funny and friendly, but some people can also be immature as heck.
It continually amazes me the ways which people find to express their emotions in virtual environments. ItÂ’s as if humanity must reinvent communication altogether for this new medium, and some revert back to childhood on the Internet. Hence -we have all these poopy-heads (what do you think of that word)who are barely cognizant of their behavior. Let alone the high school attitude of I got to be popular and try to look and sound good.
So should we give these net alcoholic/druggies the attention which is never ending or should we distant ourselves some. And hope they learn. I don't give a bottle to an alcoholic or drugs to a druggie, when I see too much of an issue and no wanting to change--I walk. What do you do?
But some are totally depended on emotional fixes here. It has ruined some families, friends, their work , lives--etc.
And it becomes weary to see so much.
Counselors and other experts said time spent on the computer was not important in diagnosing an addiction to the Internet. The question, they say, is whether Internet use is causing serious problems, including the loss of a job, marital difficulties, depression, isolation and anxiety, and still the user cannot stop
A great man in history advised us to understand the nature of our problems if we want to exist peacefully in this world. He has advised us to ponder on the purpose of our existence and to try to find out why we are not satisfied with our lives. He did not recommend a method just to patch up a problem here and there simple to make us happy for the" time being". Rather he taught us the way to penetrate to the root of the problem and find out the main cause of it If we can understand this situation, there will be no reason for us to look to others for our happiness.
Zebras do protect each other but they do not give ""overdue"" attention to each others problems. Only their own. Most animals do not assist each other very often to the extent that human beings do, they live together; they protect their group or their young from their enemiesÂ Â .Excessive help when uncalled for is not know to them. Ulcers are rare in most in the wild (but common in household pets--weÂ taught it to them)
I know there are some awesome people online that make the experience worth it but what do you do? Some like to always play the nice nice and feed them. Goodness forbid we look bad or just plain normal. They try to help them. But in all the time I have been here and 360 that doesn't seem to help them.
I just saw in my mail--one mate wants to destroy the computerÂ .Talks of anger. I have seen this over and over several times before. The cause often (not always) Emotional cheaters who take time and emotion from their mate and give more here. Are we helping that marriage? But we are just friends who share and like the same things--you should trust me--you have a problem not me ---you are jealous--its just innocent fun--its not like we are physical or anything so that isn't cheating- (But, thinking that way actually makes the problem worse because it lowers the threshold - there is less guilt involved. And with a lower threshold of guilt, people feel more comfortable doing it. Online emotional bonding always involve some form of emotional attachment. And being emotionally attached to someone online causes individuals to devalue their current romantic partners. People are more likely to notice their partner's flaws and shortcomings when they have an online bonding. ( you--Singles- your out of this ones)
And as people become more emotionally involved online, they have less give to a partner. So, online bonding, own their own, can create a lot of turmoil and distance within a relationship.
Not to mention the fact that online bonding are often the first stepping stone to having a more traditional affair (So say the studies)
----I have heard it all. And by the way emotional cheating is just as bad. Often with same results. Anything that takes from one and gives to another is cheating.
Than I see the slobbers (Okay I am sure there is a nicer name) They are all over everyone with hugs and kisses and repeated over and over posts I need attention they slyly show, or the ones who use light sex tease to entice--called innocent art (hmmmm some who were abused on my pages of friends--some very very badly--don't feel that is necessary--wonder if anyone thinks about that or them--really about them=Â or what they promote or don't they care because they want attention more?) --does anyone see a problem here?
The ones looking for sympathy all the time. I just saw an awful picture, My dog died ( and for the ninth time too) My bf/gf , kids. has this problem. I am depressed today, -etc
My marriage is breaking up because of my husband's addiction, which seems to have destroyed not only our marriage but my husband's personality, his values, his morals, his behavior and his parenting," says one on an Internet blog (did you see this one?) This person said she is a professional in her 40s and asked to be identified only as Rachel. "I had no idea what the potential for destruction was," Rachel writes.
Mental health professionals say they read and hear such sentiments in their e-mail and offices with increasing frequency. The bright graphics of the Internet - as well as its anonymity and speed - are too much of a good thing for some users, who will neglect family, work and school to stay online.
Maressa Orzack, a therapist in Newton, Mass., tells of one man who threw his wife's modem out the window in disgust at her refusal to log off Â— only to have her beat him in retaliation.
In another case, a boy whose phone line had been cut by worried parents climbed out a third-floor window to reattach it. Guess what happened??? But look closer at the story--his parents were often on-line--had to make their posts to their friends here. He found the attention from the net rather than home.Â They took his away not theirs. Doesn't matter now. Wonder if they are still on here telling everyone of their sorrow.
People worry you won't stay their friends, You will leave if they can't post soon, Does it matter? What are pages? Personally I like blogs, I love groups but I don't worry about my next blog or not going to any groups often enough----if my page sit still--it is Ok too. --it will come when it does.Â
The workplace isn't immune from such problems. Increasing numbers of supervisors discipline and even fire employees who spend too much time cruising non-work-related sites . What ever happen to loyalty to an employer even if he is a jerk.? He is paying you what you agreed on. Is there no other thing one could do during slow times to be more productive?
And more and more issues show--jealousy ,anger, Envy, disrespect, selfishness. lack of firm morals etc. Seems Doctors say we are feeding these "core" problems and making them worst. And often excusing them. Like a co -dependent does.
The net is a useful tool and can bring much to improve life if used right. Some have met their mates here. and some nice matches, Nothing wrong with that. If you don't have one already that is. The grass is not greener everywhere else. You have to tend your own to make it green. But seem according to experts Doctors and Courts are filling to epidemic proportions of the problems it causes too.
Media has had shows on this (Oprah too--what a show) Papers have written stories. And often you will hear huge denials on this, Big ones. But there does seem to be a problem.
So I would like to know your thoughts. What do you do? Do you contribute to this addiction (should other spouses thank you for the extra time your time you give to theirs?) I don't think any mate complains of one or two innocence posts --but how much are you there?. Should we turn our heads and pretend we don't see a problem or it isn't ours- so why should we care--so we do nothing just ignore? Or do you distance yourself?
Not to be mean. But I have seen this over and over on the net. And seen friends who the net has changed. Or don't see their problems here. And some who don't want their lives better.
Now on net addicts (it isn't time used - some use it a lot and are very well balanced== but what it causes in ones life --when there is a problem. ) some will give up family and real friends, jobs, time with children for this cyber world. That is sad,
Almost nobody blames the Internet itself for people's over reliance on it. The Zebra doesn't blame the earth for the jackal.
What do you do when you see this? Or don't you see it?
I tried both ways and seems neither works, Feeding and trying to help and distance, But I feel better with distance.
I gave this question to some Psychology classes (I love them)Â and aÂ recentlyÂ to a few groups--many did their own study now. And tested people too. Â And the results all though all still not in---are almost identical. Â It's a problem--and one people don't face or don't want too.. Why not?
I have a few good friends here and if I don't hear from them in a bit--I do wonder what is going on. Are they being rude or what? Something happen? Can they at least say something? But when I stop worrying and abide my time--I hear from them.Â Its as my one friend says a boomerang-- which is somethingÂ she and I shareÂ --and it wasÂ an actual gift between us.Â A symbol I keep in my home now. She says "Good friends will always come back and be there till the end. For we both know the value of a good friend. We just withdraw sometimes.
Now some friends on pages Â will come back and backÂ no matter how many times they go or get booted off by someÂ here (from their own issues not others), they are easily had by most.Â This isn't the same as above. This is something different. Problem.Â And they blame others for their problem. I even had aÂ few friend laughÂ and laugh about this.Â Said watch them come right back.Â And they do. ""Roll eyes""
Like a Zebra I'm not going to be overly concerned with somethings. Unless they come to me. I'm not going to worry about tomorrow. I'm not going to get overly involve with the herds problems--just with my own circle of family and friends problems. OnesÂ I really care for.Â It is impossible to help allÂ even if you wanted too.Â Â I'm not going to allow predators to stay among me. Perhaps I will avoid ulcers.
If you already have them. Here is a tip. Don't imagine things that aren't there. Don't worry about them. Unless they are actually chasing you. Lions are pretty straight forward if they are after you.Â And rarely do they attack unless for food or provoked.Â It will only make your ulcers worst. Don't let others panic you and increase your worry. This is common too.Â Take care of yourself.
So take a lesson from the Zebra--as always---animals have much to show us to live a better life.
Take care my friend-I'm here if you need me other than that I am chilling