Don't get me wrong, I love my life. Well, most of the time. Recently I've been feeling overwhelmed with everything. I am basically a single mother because Mikaela's dad is in Iraq. I know he'll help out with her when he gets home, but it's still hard, even though he gives me money for her and everything so I can go to school and not have to work.
But, back to why I want to get away. I just feel like everything is my responsibility now. I mean, I take full responsibility for my daughter and wouldn't have it any other way. She is my pride and joy and the love of my life. But, the other aspects of my life is where the problem is. I still live with my grandpa because it's easier right now with going to school because he doesn't make me pay rent. However, with the passing of my grandma 3 months ago, all of her work has become my work. I do the laundry, wash the dishes, vacuum, help do the grocery shopping, and do hours of homework a night. The days that I have school I am gone from 7 am - 6 pm because I have a 2 hour commute each way, and I still feel like I'm supposed to get everything done when I get home. I'm also responsible for my 13 year old brother, who lives with us. Because my mom and grandpa go to work so early, I have to make sure he's up at 530 and on the bus at 652. If he doesn't get to school, it's on me. I am also supposed to help him with his homework. And then my daughter's dad bought a house last year and he wants me to start painting that for him. I just feel like there is so much for me to do and not enough hours in the day for me to do it.
Don't get me wrong, my grandpa and brother do help out around the house. My grandpa will do the dishes if they start to bother him and they each pretty much eat whatever they want for dinner, unless we have dinner together one night. And I know I don't pay rent, which I am thankful for. But sometimes I just feel like what I do is taken for granted.
This all leads me to this .. I just want to get away for a weekend. Just a weekend with nobody but me and my daughter. No computer, no cell phone, and no way to contact me. I feel like it would do me a great deal of good to just get away. Am I crazy? Maybe, but I think it's something I might do, because if I don't I think I will go crazy.