I loved my Dad: 10/1/26-8/23/86

sad and wonderfully expressed. Alcoholism is a bad disease that afflicts more than just the alcoholic, and it can affect generations if the cycle isn't stopped. (((HUGS))) and Blessings my friend.

Sad. I was lucky, so far the drunks in my family just get touchy feely, but my sister just went through a divorce because when both would drink - they both got mean. And when they drank seperately, they had the mouth from hell. Both their sons are going through counseling - hopefully neither emulates either parent.

very sad

Very well said.

Well said

I grew up with an alcoholic mother, it is something that you never forget. Yes I have forgiven her, but you never forget. I went on to repeat the same thing, but wised up at age 25 before I had children.

I quit hard liquor in 1987

quit everything thing else in 1991

and since 2000 I've had a glass of champagne
once a year.

It's rough

So sorry. Grew up with that, the abuse, all kinds and don't drink to this day. It hurts, doesn't it?

Fred,
To this day I hate the holidays. I try to act the part for my kids and have traditions & fun activities. But inside, I'd just rather wrap up under a warm blanket & wait until the day is over.
When I was young EVERY day but especially holidays made my father rage. I knew that a fight would ensue & birthdays, Christmas & even Halloween would be horrible.

I have a newer post about my Grandfather & he was my hero. He would have maybe A beer after a 18 hour day of farming, but usually just a cup of coffee. Alcoholism is so devastating & I am sorry for what happened to you. I am glad you quit drinking, the cycle ends with you! =)

Poignant. I too have felt the insidious hand of this disease. I myself don't drink much at all. I like a little wine once in a while but that is about it.

Moderation

"If you can't think of three good reasons to have that scotch and soda
you don't need it, might still want it, but don't"

I have been affected by an alcoholic now for almost eight years. As a consequence of his drinking and his inability to recognize his illness our relationship is at its breaking point. I can no longer live with the abuse and the mood swings and verbal attacks brought about by his drinking. He becomes a different person and I can no longer live this way.

In the beginning it was the fact that I didn't recognize that he was an alcoholic. As time went by the more he drank the more abusive he became. I used to cry and talk to my Parents about him and they would try to intervene in order to calm things down. That didn't work. Then came the time when I would get angry at his abuse and vile accusations. I would argue with him and it would quickly spiral out of control. That didn't work. Now, I am resigned to the fact that there is nothing that I can do or say to convince him that he has an illness and that he needs help.

He says that no one, not even his Parents will tell him what to do or for him to stop drinking. He says that he works hard and if he isn't bothering anyone then he should be permitted to drink all that he wants. But he is bothering someone and he is abusing me psychologically and it hurts. I can not live like this any longer. I never knew an alcoholic until I met this man and didn't even recognize it until it was much too late.

Our relationship is technically over. I no longer feel any love for this man. I do care about him but do not love him. It has been far too painful to ever think that we could be what we once were.

I'm sorry that you had to experience this with your father. I understand. I really do.

Esther IS Flesh and Blood S.,

If you ever want to unload
just email me.

-f-

Brings back memories. Mary B. you are right. I, too, have forgiven but not forgot. It's a scar I carry with me and has become part of my personality. Ester, I married a man who also had an alcoholic mom and he became alcoholic. I left after 18 years, there's more to life than that. Since then, these past 20 years, I have discovered the joy of living, not just existing. May you find your true path.

Me too. Alcoholic mother. Maybe I'll write a poem or too also. Might help. It's hit my brother, and my neice. My sister won't touch the stuff. So far I've been able to moderate, and I just drink "socially". I'm deathly afraid of being drunk, losing control, and acting stupid like my mother did. That fear keeps me in line. THEN, like an idiot, I married an alcoholic! That lasted 6 months.

Fred -- keep up the fight - don't give in

Ester -- I'm sorry for what you are going through. He is not going to change. At least not now. Get away from him.

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Well written Fred!

Thank you for posting your article to
Group E-mails Always Welcome Here.

I can relate. Hey, I used to work at the Westinghouse in East Pittsburgh.

I can relate, as well! My mom and dad were alcoholics, too! My dad has since died and my mom only drinks beer now!

Great post. Alcoholism hits us all in one way or the other

Alcoholism is rampant is this country and hurts everyone who comes in contact with it.

Sigh! It's never easy, is it! Thanks for sharing. Many blessings and hugs to you.
The POINTS DEPOT

Been there, done that. I too look back at pictures and remember the pain more than anything else. I mourn sometimes for the childhood that could have been and should have been.

Then as soon as I got out of the house, I started my own drinking career. It took me years to figure out that it wasn't for me.....and it will take forever to get past all of it.


My dad, gosh bless him still drinks. 60 years old and it is still everyone's fault, but his own. Sometimes I just want to smack him upside the head. How can he be that age and still not get the point?

Sad to have those memories ................been there with my Grand father!