Intervention needed. In a hurry!

Several NFL teams have gotten off to brutal starts and have fans wondering how can this be?

For those 0-3 franchises (and 1-2 near misses), their faithful followers are thinking that the team brain trusts have had all off-season, pre-season, and this is the result?

Queen City fans may have it the worst.  An off-season of shame, bizarro name changes, and a desperation rehire all have the fans and players reeling.  Cero and dieciséis is more like a phrase the Bengals ought to get used to, versus Ocho Cinco.  Palmer and company almost stole one from the defending Super Bowl champions Sunday, but collapsed and allowed a Giant drive similar to the one that ruined the Patriots perfect season.  With top-notch players at skill positions, the striped ones must be lacking strength on the line of scrimmage.  Head coach Marvin Lewis is on the hottest seat there is, and surprisingly Cleveland's Romeo Crennel is not far from the flames.

The Brownies have to be this year's biggest disappointment.  After just missing the Promised Land last year at 10-6, most pundits felt this was their year to win a playoff game.  However, Derek Anderson has fallen from a promising young QB to the waiver wire scrap heap, imminently losing his job to Brady Quinn.  Watch for DA to be holding the clipboard any day now.  Jamal Lewis is acting more like, Jamal Lewis.  Maybe they surprised everyone last year, and this is the second time through the lineup.

Looking more like the sphincter of a cat that can't clean itself, the Kansas City Chiefs are on the road to nowhere.  Trying to provide some relief for the deprived fans who sat through another losing Royals season (one season above .500 since 1993), they have already lost to Oakland and Atlanta!  KC has gone 4-15 since the beginning of last year, and is currently the proud owner of a 12 game losing streak.

The only squad in worse times might be the St. Louis Rams.  Marc Bulger, a pro-bowler such a short time ago, has fallen prey to the "I turned 30" QB curse.  When you are a benched as a healthy scratch in favor of an elderly journeyman (Trent Green in this case), it is time to pick up some of those post office change-of-address forms.  At least it isn't Gus Ferrotte replacing him, but Bulgers confidence must be at an all time low.  What happened to the number 2 pick in last years draft Chris Long?  Granted it is early, but Gateway City fans could be looking at a purebred transforming into a mutt.

As far as the other 0-3 teams go, Houston is still an expansion team and Detroit is a complete shambles.  Patriots fans are miffed at losing the first regular season game in 22 tries, and left Gillette Stadium in a huff over it.  Ford Field has averaged 60,000+ fans a game, and this is all while going 28-71 in the past 6+ years.  After the mid-point in 2007, the power-blue and white were 6-2.  Yes, that's right, 6-2!  Eight weeks later, a useless victory against Kansas City (see above) prevented a second-half goose egg.  2008 is more of the same, kicking off the schedule with three losses that include a mauling at the hands of the Falcons and ‘Niners.

Miami narrowly averted intervention when it gave an ass whuppin' to the offense-less and defense-less New England Patriots.  Many consider this a relapse of their consistently pathetic play, and surely will have them fallen off the wagon by seasons end. 

So, for all you followers of these biggest losers, gather your closest brethren and realize the misery ahead.  If you can imagine every Sunday as the bye week it might not be so bad.