The Handbasket Chronicles: Two Courtships, a Political Allegory

Once upon a time, two ambitious young men courted two beautiful and rich sisters.

When John met Mary, he instantly perceived that her wealth and power could make all his dreams come true, and he began to pursue her. Mary was virtuous and received his courtship diffidently. She had heard stories about what happened to girls who gave themselves too lightly to the first young suitor they received.

John became more determined to win her favor over all others, and so he pressed her for her attention.

"It would not be proper for us to be together unless we were married," she told him.

"Then I shall marry you," he promised.

Mary was a religious girl, and so before she would marry him, she insisted that he convert to her religion. John was a quick study, and he really wanted her, so he agreed, took religious instruction, and converted.



Mae, Mary's sister, had a very different courtship. Bob seemed not to realize how rich she was, and his dreams included her. He spoke of the things they would do together, and those things were things she wanted to do. She too, insisted that her lover marry her before they could be together. Bob agreed. Then she tried to have Bob convert to her religion.

"I will not do that," Bob told her. "I have my own beliefs."

"But how do I know that you will treat me well?" she asked.

"Because one of my beliefs is that I must keep my promises, and I promise to treat you well."

"But you cannot believe one way and I another and we live in harmony," she objected.

"We have so far," he told her. Mae decided that she would take a chance on Bob agreed to marry him.

Finally the big day came. The nuptials were held, and the marriages were consummated. The night after the wedding, John threw a big party with Mary's fortune. He invited all of his friends from his former life, and they trashed her home, eating and drinking greedily, stealing things, and disrespecting her. Their decadent behavior distressed her, but she had faith in her new husband, who, after all, said he loved her and adopted her religion. Everything would be all right, because he had made promises, and promises were sacred.

After the wedding, things were quiet at Mae and Bob's house. Bob set about making a happy life for them together, keeping his promises to her and being true to his own belief system.

Several weeks after their marriage, Mary walked into a room and found John with another woman. She was crushed and angry. She drove everyone out of her house and confronted her husband.

"How could you do this to me?"

"What have I done?" he asked in amazement.

"You have wasted my fortune, spoiled my home, and now you are cheating on me with another woman," she cried.

"My dear, I did as I promised. I converted to your religion and I married you."

"But all these things, the drinking, the parties, the adultery, are against my beliefs."

"But they are not against mine. I gave you what you wanted: a marriage and a ceremony where I became a member of your church. In return for this, I get to party on your money and do as I please. You did not tell me I had to adopt your belief system, only that I had to say I did."

America, be careful which suitor you choose.

The Handbasket Chronicles, a weekly column by Ann Weaver Hart, appears on Monday evenings, and consists of commentary on political and social issues.