As some of you may know, for almost 2 months now, my daughter has been a ward of the state in DCS care (foster care) when things as little as "needing a break" was blown out of proportion that I didn't know "what she needed" from asking them to help me with her medical problems and tried being persistent and then when asking them for some type of respite or child care, I was refused any help and told to go to my "support system" when I tried telling them, that a support system can fail and always will fail and that you will need a back up plan. Still, refusal of any type of assistance.
Anyway, she is in foster care currently (with an older couple) and I've been told the last month or so "she is in good hands" and that she is being taken care of. Though, the third visit, her diaper bag, had a dirty spoon and a bottle, with crusted formula around the edges and smelling of rotten eggs. Then they tell me as a mother I need to give people the "benefit of the doubt" and anything I question or any worry I have, I am told that its not "normal" and that I'm "over-reacting" when I ask any questions about my daughter's medical care, etc. or what is being done to help her, when she isn't with mommy and daddy, with two strangers (and their family foster family also foster parents supposedly helping) and she is being switched around in multiple care? Then again, they go back to "she is being well taken care of" and any questions I ask are ignored.
So, can you imagine? As a mother, being wrongly accused, having things blown out of proportion and then, not only that, having your child with strangers, not being able to hold her, put her to bed or read her a bed time story?
Many haven't been in my situation. Many probably never will. But never- as I will say again, never take things for granted. Give your child/ren hugs every day, kisses, and remind them you love them. You never know the last day, you will get to hold your child - whether it be you, as a parent, passing away or any type of circumstances in a separation.
Its sad.... but it happens... And it is reality and we NEED justice. A baby died locally where I live. Guess what? Her parents were drug addicts- they were given slack and drugs were put in her bottle. And they think its MY child that needs care? Where are priorities today and today's children? If anyone is neglecting a child/ren's care- it is the system. ::Sighs::
Please again-- I ask everyone, to please pray for my daughter's safe return home. She has still been constipated. The foster parents are blaming smoking on her medical problem, and please pray, her medical problem will be taken care of seriously (acid reflux and severe constipation).
Again, I thank everyone for their prayers and I will sign off here and once again, while pregnant, do my duties as a mother - but this time, overworking myself, to make sure my house is in PERFECT condition and no specks on the walls.
Update- My blood pressure is still up with this pregnancy, and as some of you know, I had to take 250 mg, 3x a day, but it increased the week before 500 mg, 3x a day, and then today I went back to my doctor's appointment and he told me due to all the stress, my blood pressure still hasn't went down and that he wants me to take 500 mg, 4x a day.
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Comments: 29
Have they been able to give you any time table on getting your daughter back?
It is insane but you have to let the wrongness of what happened not show. For some reason people don't understand that it is human to be upset about what happened and how wrong it was.
Yes you have every right to be upset and express it, just not to the people you want to get your child back from. You have to be concerned but cool calm and collected. For some reason if you get upset this means you will do the same kinda anger or yelling if you get upset with the child. I think that is the rationale.
It is hard to not be open and honest, but honey you have to play the game. Go do what they say, parenting classes...
How do I know all this? After I got my children back I was dragged through the court system by my ex-in-laws.
It is a long story, but honey, trust me. Complain to others after wards. They aren't going to hand her back because you don't like where she is. Unless they see what you see...
Trust me, fussing at them is just going to reinforce what they accessed of you.
Calm, Cool, accepting and collected...doing what ever you can to get her back. They have to let you have a shot at that. Legal aid should help you if they don't give her back after you do what they want.
You are in my prayers.
I just read about this in a comment on Jaye's article. Please hang in there and take care of yourself. I can't imagine what you're going through but there is hope. A friend of mine went through this and everything ended well. It does sometimes seem that DHC/DCS takes the wrong children away, but I don't think we're ever going to be able to change that. You might reconsider signing off here. Gather is a great place for support and, as you face different challenges, you would be surprised at how much wise counsel you can get here. We're all praying for you!
This is sad I hope everything works out for you.
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