I feel like such a failure today! I was supposed to go to bible class tonight but I didn't go. I had gotten up at 1500 hours, got cleaned up, dressed and ate. I'd left the house and was actually in the subway waiting for the train when I just "freaked" and went back home. At home I got undressed, got in bed and shook/trembled for two hours.
I don't like to miss my bible classes, but I just couldn't bring myself to get on the train. It's a good thing I go see my shrink tommorow. You can best believe I will be discussing these symptoms with him. He's probably going to give me a new medication, which I'm not looking forward to at all. But, I don't like this new direction the bipolar disorder is taking me in. Where I don't want to go anywhere (especially when it comes to work, and now unfortunately church . . . . . ), and I just want to stay home and hide.
I'm supposedly outgoing and like to be around people and now I find myself withdrawing like a trutle pulling himself into his shell. . . . . . .