When last we left our heroes, they had successfully (despite themselves) subdued the guards and tricked their way into the stronghold. With Joe and John disguised as guards and Barack and Sarah playing the role of captives, the party has maneuvered its way into the stronghold and is now attempting to locate the evil overlord EXXONICUS MOBILI in order to bring an end to his tyranny.
America: OK, guys, you are in the stronghold. Your moving down the corridor, and you come to an intersection. There are dark, narrow passageways to both the left and right. You hear what sounds like the heavy, armored boots down the two narrow passageways, possibly guards. The corridor down the center is wide, well lit, decorated with paintings of the overlord and his family, and seems to be clear. Which way do you go?
Joe Biden and Barack Obama: (In unison) Left.
John McCain and Sarah Palin: (In unison) Right.
America: Of course. *sigh* So, are you going to split up the party?
Joe Biden: No, no. That's not a good idea. Um, can we make spot checks to see if we notice anything?
America: You mean, anything besides all of the HUGE paintings featuring the Overlord and his family?
Joe Biden: Yeah.
America: Sure, everyone make spot checks.
Joe Biden: 9.
John McCain 7
Sarah Palin: 10
Barack Obama: Well, after rolling my d20, and calculating my ranks in the spot skill and adding the appropriate modifier, it would appear that I have a total spot roll of 8.
America: WOW.
Sarah Palin: WOOT! I win! What do I see?
America: You see a wide, well-lit corridor full of HUGE paintings featuring the overload and his family.
Sarah Palin: I say we go right.
John McCain: I agree.
Joe Biden: I think we should go left.
Barack Obama: I would have to concur with Joe's exceptional understanding of the situation and state that going left would appear to be the best way to achieve our goal.
America: Well, while you four are arguing in the hallway, you hear the voice of a guard call out and say ‘Hey, what are you two doing with those prisoners so close to the Overlord's top secret private chamber?' What do you do?
Sarah Palin: I disbelieve!
America: What?
Sarah Palin: I disbelieve.
America: Oh, yeah, right. Um, well, your God tells you the guard is real. What is everyone doing?
Sarah Palin: I cast Flame Strike!
America: Are you serious?
Sarah Palin: Yeah. If my God warned me about him, then obviously He wants him destroyed. Oh, and he's surprised, right? He wasn't expecting a prisoner to cast Flame Strike, so no initiative roll. (giggles).
John McCain: I told you she would catch on quick.
America: OK. She casts Flame Strike. (rolls NPC Reflex save). He failed the Reflex save. What is the damage?
Sarah Palin: 47.
America: Well, he was just a guard. You killed him outright.
Joe Biden: Oooo, loot.
John McCain: Yes! About damn time.
America: Not so fast. Roll initiative. More guards are coming down the hallways, alerted to your presence by the booming sound of a FLAME STRIKE decimating the guard.
Barack Obama: Now if I may interject for just one moment, America. Now Sarah did in fact get a free spell off that last round, because the guard was by your own admission surprised. Therefore, in the interest of fairness, I believe that I too should have been given the opportunity to also cast a spell before this new round of combat begins.
America: Fine. Fine. What did you cast last round?
Barack Obama: Well, considering the fact that...
America: The spell, Barack! I don't need a dissertation.
Barack Obama: Eagle's Splendor. It gives me a +4 enhancement bonus to my Charisma score.
America: OK, OK. So what is everyone's initiative?
John McCain: 18
Joe Biden: 17
Sarah Palin: 18
Barack Obama: 20
America: Fast bunch. Well, Barack, you have the initiative. There are eight guards rushing toward the party.
Barack Obama: Considering the fact that we are outnumbered, I think the best course of action would be to cast a spell that can neutralize more than one of our opponents. If we focus on only one opponent, we leave ourselves open to attacks from all sides. Therefore, I will cast Rainbow Pattern in an attempt to neutral several opponents at once.
John McCain: *Mumbles* Gay...
America: JOHN!
John McCain: Oh, I didn't mean it that way! It's a figure of speech. Just, what next? Summon a unicorn and a swarm of butterflies? These guys want to kill us! This is no time for fluffy rainbows and frolicking through the tulips.
America: *Scowls* Enough. Anyway, Barack, what is the Will Save?
Barack Obama: Well, my base Charisma score is 20. I have a +4 enhancement bonus currently due to the fact that I cast Eagle's Splendor last round. And since there are at least eight of them my Ring of Crowd Control automatically becomes active, granting me an additional +4 insight bonus to Charisma. As it is a 4th level spell...
America: Good God. (Rolls die). Well, they are only fighters. They don't have good Will Saves. So you get four of them.
John McCain: Wait, are you trying to imply that fighters don't have any Will? You know, I was a POW for 5 years. It takes a lot of Will to survive in those conditions.
America: Sorry. All right. Anyway. Let's get through this combat. What are the rest of you doing?
Sarah Palin: Flame Strike!
John McCain: Charge!
Joe Biden: Um, how many is Sarah able to hit with her Flame Strike?
America: There are two in the area of effect.
Joe Biden: And the other two?
America: Apparently John is charging right at them.
Joe Biden: I'll help John, then.
America: (After the combat is over and looting is done): OK, guys. You have four captives. One of the captives says defiantly, "So, what do you think you are going to do? Walk straight down the central corridor and just waltz into the Overlord's top secret chamber? You'll never get away with this!." You are still in the intersection of the hallways at this point. Which way are you guys going to go?
Joe Biden and Barack Obama: (In unison) Left.
John McCain and Sarah Palin: (In unison) Right.
America: Of course. *sigh*
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Comments: 11
It sounds like America is losing their patience.
Gee, ya think? :-)
When that happens? Let me know.