My Evening in Eastern Europe

In honor of my friends' wedding day in October, the maid of honor and the bride's sister-in-law held a surprise bridal shower. I've not been to many bridal showers, but I know the routine - gifts, snacks, and stupid games. Now imagine going to a bridal shower where no one knows this.

My friend, Elina is from Ukraine. The groom, Ivan, is from Bulgaria. The maid of honor is from Romania. Their friends are from all over Eastern Europe. All these people met in the United States. The common language they share is English. The Romanians don't speak Russian. The Ukrainians don't speak Bulgarian and the woman originally from Latvia speaks a language no one else does at all, so English is the language of friendship for these young women.

Three of the guests, including myself, were born in America. We didn't realize the bridal shower is not a world-wide tradition. As we waited for the guest of honor, someone asked, "Do we sing a song like "Happy Birthday" or something?" The maid of honor, Georgiana, who is a ray of extra special joyous sunshine, checked her notes. She'd researched on the internet for bridal shower customs. She concluded a bridal shower consisted of snack foods, gifts and games that seemed stupid. The others agreed we would not play stupid games. She thought perhaps we should sing, "Here Comes the Bride" and looked at me and the other native born Americans.

No, it's okay to just say, "Surprise!" we assured them. While we waited, we ate from an amazing variety of foods - smoked salmon and sardines, shrimp, capers, roasted chicken, crackers, rolls, relishes and salads. One dish, in particular, is basically what we'd called a fancy potato salad. The Ukrainians call it "Olivia Salad." The Bulgarians call it "Russian Salad" and the Romanians refer to it as "French Salad." They all have the same recipe for it though.

Finally! The guest of honor arrived. Her nephew played "Here Comes the Bride" on his computer and Elina was very surprised to find a plastic tiara that said "BRIDE" on her head. She was pushed to the head of the table her sister-in-law, Ana, had so beautifully decorated with flower petals and swans and flowers and so much food! I thought back to Georgiana's invitation, "we'll be keeping it light with fruit and pastries." That's one American convention that was out the window!

As Elina unwrapped gifts and opened cards and a Ukrainian friend of hers would scream, "Make the sexy!!!" and snap a  picture. I wish I could recall everyone's name, but what I do know is they all seem to end in "ina" and they are so lively!

After gifts, it was time for more eating and drinking and making toasts and conversation. The "Inas" all love to shop and "May-Ceeeeee's" seems to be a favorite store. Since I'm not a shopper, especially on the scale of these 20 and 30 somethings, I listened to their tales of bargain hunting. Then someone said, "Remember when we had to stand in line to buy anything?"

It was quiet for a second. Then they each recalled getting up early, early in the day to go with their mothers to stand in line to see what the store had for sale.

"Remember standing for hours for mayonnaise? They only sold it once or twice a year."

"Sometimes you go stand in line not even knowing what was selling that day."

"Remember standing all day and just when you get to the door, they would run out of..."

"I remember rushing to get to the line at Christmas, always for bananas. Bananas for Christmas only. If we didn't get bananas it was disappointing. Now we have them whenever we want them."

Georgiana started laughing. She said she didn't even know what a banana was before coming to the US. The first time she saw them, she thought they were some kind of strange, yellow cucumber.
 
"Oh! Remember when we had money and the stores had nothing?"

"And they changed the money overnight!"

"Then we had no money and the stores had everything!"
 
As a kid I'd heard the stories of how people in Russia stood in line just to buy bread. It was one of those things parents said to instill in us that we were living in a great country and to shut us up when we whined about being called away from play to run to the store to buy a loaf of bread. I'd never met anyone who actually stood in line to get into a store to buy bread and it would never have occurred to me that these women, some of them the same age as my children, would have stood in line hoping for bananas for Christmas.
 
Now they remember and laugh about it and rave about the mall and May-Ceeeee's. Shopping is much more fun in a country where the economy is relatively stable and the currency doesn't change from one day to the next.
 
Ana brought out more food and more drink. This is a wonderful Eastern European custom- eating and eating with no guilt. No one even talks about dieting and if your plate is empty and someone notices, you're passed a dish to sample and encouraged to eat, eat, eat. You learn to pace yourself at these parties. Everyone laughs and says out loud that having friends to share food and good times with is just the best thing ever. No one is left out - even if it's the first time you've met or you've had to grab someone to translate a conversation, every one is appreciated, complimented, hugged, and wished all the best.

You know, these people were once considered part of "the enemy." That's something to consider when the leaders of nations start rattling swords. It's so much better to share dinner and listen to talk about bargain hunting at May-Ceeeeee's.