10 Really, Really, Really Ugly Tattoos

Remember back in middle school when you and your little friends used to hunker down in the back of civics class and draw tattoos on each other with a ball point pen?  Chewbacca with a lightsaber looked pretty rad on your forearm in 7th grade, huh? Even if you had to touch it up after mom made you shower it was TOTALLY worth it. Now? Not so much.

You weren't supposed to save those scribblings so you could get them inked in college, bonehead. Some of you didn't get the message. Some of you continued to draw decrepit wizards, retarded ogres, wimpy devils, dubious dragons fighting scrawny bears, and barebreasted mermaid/harpy/GeneSimmons montages on your bodies. 

Unwilling to take one more BicPenTattoo-destroying shower, but unable to keep your day job at Checkers without some modicum of personal hygiene, you took the plunge and immortalized your creations in indelible ink.

In homage to your persistance and in derision of your artistic talent and lack of sense, I give you 10 Really, Really, Really Ugly Tattoos.

1. TITLE: Hear My Evil Monkey-Weasel-Rat Something Roar. All you sucka's who thought this guy was a chump in high school just take a look at this beauty. Bring it fools! 

2. TITLE: Boschalicious. I hope this was a poorly executed attempt to copy Hieronymous Bosch. Otherwise this guy has a bright future as a serial killer.

3.  TITLE: Mystery Tool. No really, it looks some kind of tool...a pizza cutter? Glass cutter? Dental appliance? I'll bet these are available on the Shopping Network. (Ok, this dude is the tool.) 

4. TITLE: Sauron Lives! This is either a genetically enhanced sunflower that dines on farm animals (and farmers) or the Evil One. "Twas in the darkest depths of Mordor, I met a girl so fair...but Golem...and the Evil One...crept up and slipped a away with her, her." It's sad that I even know where the inspiration came from.  

5. TITLE: Something Scribbled On The Inside Cover of My Chemistry Book. Joey was just like, totally bored, man. Like totally. So while he was sitting in detention he drew this rad...um...um...coral-monster-thing. Now it's on his arm. Cool, huh? Way.

6. TITLE: Eagle Air Taxi to the Sun. A naked guy crouching on the back of an eagle that is seemingly falling from the sky beneath a flaming sun. Did I get it all? I'm sure this sounded perfectly plausible after the second bong.  

7. TITLE: Solitary Confinement. This tattoo actually  has some interesting components of outsider art, what with the oversized head and so forth. Might make a good editorial cartoon...for a zine...or website...not 12 inches of your arm.  

8. TITLE: Talk to Your Doctor About Effexor. Are you troubled by the key symptom of social anxiety? This guy was but he was too shy to tell his doctor so he tattooed the Sad Potato from the television commercials on his arm. Just point to it. No reason to have lengthy discussions with a medical professional. 

9. TITLE: Self-Cleaning Oven or Die. This guy was forced to clean the oven in his rental or he wouldn't get his deposit back. The unfairness, the horror! Traumatizing. Never again. (I'm thinking of getting something similar on my forearm.) 

10. TITLE: Ball-O-Snot. This ode to postnasal drip is my absolute favorite ugliest tattoo. This depicts the true nature of boogers. The colors and execution truly convey the sticky tensility of a big goob.

P.S. Don't forget to vote for your favorite.