Since nothing we intend is ever faultless, and nothing we attempt ever without error, and nothing we achieve without some measure of finitude and fallibility we call humanness, we are saved by forgiveness.
David Augsburger
To err is human, to forgive divine.
Alexander Pope
Life is an adventure in forgiveness.
Norman Cousins
All the abstract nouns that are involved become more real - forgiveness, pity, peace, love, hate, all become much deeper in the outcome.
Jason Robards
I think I like the Augsburger quote the best. There are times in life when we do things that others just do not understand. Even actions with the most noble reasons can be misconstrued. I cannot say that all my actions in life have never harmed anyone else. Much as I would like that to be so. It is in the very nature of being human as Pope tells us that causes us to err. We feel, we want, we need and we desire. Most of us want to take the high road in life. But, for whatever reason our actions can be seen as an assault against another. I was in a discussion recently and mentioned that some of the greatest works of art were created out of pain. I wonder how the people who created that pain, knowingly or unknowingly, felt when that work was exhibited.
Forgiveness, that is another story. How many of us can truly say that when someone presents their hand to us and asks for forgiveness with a heart filled with sorrow, that we take their hand and offer true forgiveness? How many of us will overcome our anger or our hurt and forgive a person who is truly sorry? I have been on both sides of this. I have seen what it can do. We see ourselves as strong and determinate. We are the masters of our own destinies. But, that is not really true. Because without each other we are nothing. So when someone reaches out to me, and says they are sorry, and I know they are, I have no course of action to take except to forgive them. My upbringing tells me it is so. My G-D tells me it is so. My heart tells me it is so. For some reason this amazes people. They say to me After what he/she did to you how can you forgive them? My answer is always How can I not?
Even though I am Jewish I do know some of the sayings of Jesus. He was what we call a Yeshiva boy (BTW, this is by no means an insult. I don't want to start anything here. Remember this is about forgiveness.). Which means he went to a school that taught the Holy books. Coming from a secular family I cannot tell you the origins of these sayings. But here is one that is apropo Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Another is to to Turn the other cheek. I guess it comes down to this. In my mind G-D tells us to love and not to hate. Common sense tells me that hate hurts the hater not the hatee. I know a man, actually rather well as he is related to me through marriage, who hates me for the mere fact of my religion. He hated me before we even met. People do not understand why I do not hate him back. I choose forgiveness.
To anyone I may have inadvertently hurt I give a heartfelt apology with love in my heart. In closing, this may seem like a strange quote, but somewhere in my mind it goes together. It is originally from Shakespeare's Hamlet, but was used on the broadway stage in this form.
What a piece of work is man
How noble in reason
How infinite in faculties
In form and moving
How express and admirable
In action how like an angel
In apprehension how like a god
The beauty of the world
The paragon of animals
I have of late
But wherefore I know not
Lost all my mirth
This goodly frame
The earth
Seems to me a sterile promontory
This most excellent canopy
The air-- look you!
This brave o'erhanging firmament
This majestical roof
Fretted with golden fire
Why it appears no other thing to me
Than a foul and pestilent congregation
Of vapors
What a piece of work is man
How noble in reason
I found it! I cannot believe I found it!
The Heart of the Matter
Don Henley
I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear, but I knew that it would come.
An old, true friend of ours was talking on the phone, she said you found someone.
And I thought of all the bad luck and the struggles we went through
and how I lost me and you lost you.
What are these voices outside love's open door?
Make us throw off our contentment and beg for something more?
I'm learning to live without you now but I miss you sometimes.
The more I know, the less I understand.
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again.
I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter
but my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter
but I think it's about forgiveness, forgiveness,
even if, even if you don't love me anymore.
These times are so uncertain,
there's a yearning undefined and people filled with rage.
We all need a little tenderness, how can love survive in such a graceless age?
The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness,
they're the very things we kill, I guess.
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
and the work I put between us, you know it doesn't keep me warm.
I'm learning to live without you now but I miss you, baby.
The more I know, the less I understand.
All the things I thought I'd figured out, I have to learn again.
I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter
but everything changes and my friends seem to scatter
but I think it's about forgiveness, forgiveness even if,
even if you don't love me anymore.
There are people in your life who've come and gone.
They let you down, you know they hurt your pride.
Better put it all behind you babe, cause life goes on.
You keep carrying that anger, it'll eat you up inside, baby.
I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter
but my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter
but I think it's about forgiveness, forgiveness, even if, even if you don't love me.
I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter
because the flesh will get weak and the ashes will scatter
so I'm thinking about forgiveness, forgiveness even if, even if you don't love me.
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Comments: 43
Revenge will take care of itself and I need not concern myself with that. Those few people who have hurt me or attacked me in some way have nothing to fear from me. But they know what they did and that they have hurt me. That makes them worry. It makes them fear me and expect that I will try to do them harm. They punish themselves without me having to lift a finger. My mere existence makes them suffer. I can be pleasant to them and do them favors and smile at them and so long as they see me as an enemy they are distressed. When they no longer see me as an enemy, I no longer have to fear their actions.
I don't hate her. I pity her and her kind. It must be a horribly boring and shallow world which they inhabit.
Ron, thanks. It's a hard lesson to learn. And sometimes I think we need remedial courses at times. I agree its a great practice.
Oh, you wrote this today! So, this was not the piece that you initially wanted me to see.
Forgiveness. Very interesting, it is. Do you REALLY want my thoughts on it?
I'll go to your previous post, the one you wanted me to see. If so, let me know, I'll return, and comment further . . .
Excellent post!
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Jesus is very much a Jewish man and to understand Him and His teachings one needs to understand that his teachings and parables were literally drawn from daily Jewish life in his time and place... there were even watch towers in the fields of the village he lived in.. literal structures which were a part of his parables... Forgiveness is a great teaching of Jesus (Yeheshuah Ben Yosef.. I think).
G-d always forgives and for healing sake so it is most wise for us all to do so. Sometimes we must still love from afar.
Blessings and thanks for your article.
Isis
There is a wide gap between the forgiveness of an error and the forgiveness of an act of intention. It is easy to understand and forgive an error if we understand that we all err. But if an injury is the result of a nefarious or evil act...one aimed with harm as a goal...retribution is demanded.
I believe your god is even ("G-d always forgives and for healing sake so it is most wise for us all to do so"...Isis) capable and performs acts of revenge...acts born of emotion...anger. Maybe god does this only if those who have not behaved as he wishes don't seek forgiveness, but his teachings ask that forgiveness be offered without the necessity of compromise...without strings attached.
The contradictions of the bible are staggeringly abundant...and I am not attempting to start a debate about the meaning and teachings of the bible.....I have post my personal opinion.
I am fully capable of forgiveness and I offer forgiveness in as many instances as possible...but the fact remains that at some narrowly defined point...forgiveness is impossible and at some other narrowly defined point...retribution is required.
I do believe that we can forgive most things but forgetting is another matter altogether.
How cool to perceive Jesus as a Yeshiva boy; in fact, what most people do not realize is when he was called the titles usually reserved for the Jewish clergy, such as
"Master"
"Teacher"
"Rabbi" and so forth,
That he was not really -- officially -- entitled to be called as such.
But it was THE PEOPLE who acknowledged his authority (exousia), which made it impossible for the Sanhedrin to deny it, as well. Now, I need to get my Bible to answer your question, I think, but only since you mentioned Jesus . . .
"25 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
26 But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses."
Now this one is the one that was written specifically for the Jewish people, in that it keeps trying to show that Jesus fulfilled the prophesies of the Propets. But anyway, I call this the "Saying of Enpowerment". Now notice the very beginning he refers to the Hebrew Scriptures and I shall italicize it:
"43Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
44 **But I say unto you**, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
~~Matthew 5:43-48
_______________________________
As you know, the Rabbi's Word is law and it is binding. He tells you what was said before, and now he gives you the Jehovah, or G-d or YHWH law. That is why I put that part in asterisks.
The reason I call it the "Saying of Empowerment" is because, first:
It is not easy to do and secondly,
Once you learn the "secret" to doing it (really not a secret)), then you also are endowed with a POWER, that is awesome. Hard to explain, because spiritual things are hard to explain. Getting back to forgiveness.
One reason to forgive is because if you don't, God or G-d doesn't forgive YOU. LOL. Isn't that what Jesus says in Mark 11:25-26
Yes, forgiveness requires also RELEASING, meaning FORGETTING the so-called offense, just as God forgets our trespasses. If you do not forget, then you have "ought" in your heart, and God looks at what is in your heart. Chana, you cannot fool HIM. I'm ROFL. Don't even try. So then, offenses not forgotten are offenses not forgiven.
Now, we have established it by Mark 11: 25-26, right?
By the way, why are you asking this question? What's going on? Am I being too nosey?
(I'm laughing right now -- don't pay me any attention!)
The biggie though is Matthew 5:43-48. You must do these things. Now notice this:
Notice that Jesus did not ASK you to do this; he commanded it with the authority of Rabbi. He said, (speaking of verses 43-47):
48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
So then it becomes what? It becomes a mitzvah, doesn't it? There is no dilemma.
I guess you also probably know that Jesus came for the Jewish people when he came, and so these commandments were initially being TOLD to the Jewish people. The Gentiles were subsequently grafted into the fold. I can prove that, but that's another story. For now, I believe I have answered your question. If not, email me. I think I'll be online tomorrow. Alrighty?
I am still curious as to what is going on. Hmmm.
There has been one instance in my life I was really tested on this. I felt like lashing out in hatred for a brief period of time, a natural human reaction which every G-D will understand:) We haven't reached the level of sainhood yet or can view the world with the distance and deep understanding a buddhist monk might. After a brief time of rage and pain, mostly directly at myself, I prayed for that person to find happiness and the release from the hell they lived in and continoued to create around themselves.
The other trespasses that occur against us - the misunderstandings of intent - I find it easy to forgive and forget, it really just isn't worth another thought - a waste of time.
I do know someone who is eaten up by her inability to forgive, the penned up rage literally makes her sick and no psychiatrist in the world can fix her world as long as she cannot forgive and forget the mean and horrific things that were done to her a long time ago.
Letting go is a relief for our soul, it makes us free to go on with our lives.
Chana, I loved the Hamlet and the Augsburger quotes, both really resonated with me.
If someone hit you over the head with a brick and then raped you...I doubt if you would have ANY "misunderstanding of intent".
It struck me because I'm preparing a series to put on Gather on 'Loving Your Enemy.' It should be funny but instructive. Based on the words of Jesus but applied differently than most have considered. Of all things ... this is probably my life's message to the world. I teach independent Bible studies and sometimes speak. This is my favorite because it changes lives. If you don't mind I'm thinking I would like to reference this article in the series. I've just started one on Romans so it will probably be a month.
I laughed when I read this ... it has been my mantra the last few years ...
"The more I know, the less I understand.
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again.
If my adult children ... even my grandchildren saw this, they would think I wrote it :):)
Thanks for a great article Chana.
KEEP ON KEEPIN ON
I was not making a blanket statement either.
Blessings ~
Rene
I am attempting a minor in religion/history. Religion is a huge part of life - and we must all be patient and understanding with the other's ideals.
mucho kudos Chana ~j
The broader topic is the simplest -- to be able to forgive is a blessing that pays off forever. Sandy A., several screens above me, quoted this wonderful line:
"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner
was you. ~Lewis B. Smedes"
And I love that you quoted Henley -- one of my favorite songs.
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